Monday, March 10, 2008

Too old for a spanking?

During my mid teens I as asked about "what do you want to us to do if you get into trouble" by Mom who as you noticed side stepped completely the word 'discipline' and actually I said I was quite happy with a spanking not least as grounding when I was even home wasn't a sanction where I couldn't go out by myself  anyway so I was kinda grounded anyway and I preferred to be given a consequence and have the rule I'd broken enforced on me to help me learn it.
It wasn't long before with all that stuff about grown up interests that people started to think I was past childhood to the point that although I longed for adults protecting and correcting me, I became accustomed to the idea that wasn't going to happen.
This may of been okay for a good number of people but the post childhood ways of dealing with me involving lots of talking and reasoning didn't cut it as those were thing I struggled with so I felt more and more 'lost' while having a strong sense of entitlement  because I didn't know where the boundaries were.
The thing that came from the events of the last year and half, is that that attempt to mask over with an adult wrapper  what is in reality a child still and for medical reasons will always be so proved just how wrong that approach was. It ignored who I was for what Others wanted me to be.
A Child.
I AM A CHILD WHO'S AGE IS JUST OLDER BY THE CALENDAR, THAT'S ALL.
Am I too old for a spanking?
I AM NOT TOO OLD TO HAVE MY BOTTOM SPANKED BECAUSE MY NEEDS ARE THOSE OF A CHILD AND I NEED CHILD-LIKE DISCIPLINING THAT INCLUDES BUT NOT NECESSARY RESTRICTED TO IT.
I want you to it clear to me that any manipulation, pouting, and defiant behavior will no longer make an impact at home
I want you instead of over-talking, debating, or explaining, simply give me a consequence and enforce the rule.
Like if I cannot turn off the computer when it is time for bed, there will not be any computer time for me tomorrow night. And until I can show me that I respect the rules, you'll see to it  I will be unable to use the computer.
I don't  want you to entertain any debating, begging, or caving in to tantrums and whining with me
I want you help me realize that I am responsible for my decisions and behaviours. 
I want you to not over-indulge me so I learn to appreciate everything I have, the value of hard work, saving up, that material things are not what truly satisfies me.
 If I'm in need of a spanking, I want you to give me it.

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