Stepping out as the really real me for real

Well we are back after being away from midday Friday last dealing with things that weren't done online like my Tumblr, blogs, the UR and EB Forums and real life things from the likes of the NHS, gaps in shopping with not being out last Wednesday and the like.

Most of the stuff about being away is on the main littles blog as that's really what it's about, totally non sexual fun more like a summer camp for legal adults which for strange types on Mumsnet is what its been always about.

Anyway for me it was within those terms a more frilly affair  with wearing white patterned long socks with frilly tops, going with more frilled underwear and nightdress, part in many ways of the changes we've been going through over recent months but all from a non sexual, fetish free direction.

The kind of look I'd of gone with in my early teens.

The Hello Kitty socks going with them even as in this picture with a sweatshirt and skort.

Jigsaws were done like this Mr Men one, a more child-like one cos as I said we're playing as if we're at summer camp with friends.

I felt great letting this mixture of little and sissy sides together in simple way, living in the moment being more the the full me rather than trying to fit in to someone elses idea of what this is all about.

Result!

No Authority

There's always been one rule regarding me going away as part of this life with friends, no not the think before you post pictures when out together but to keep me proper grounded during that time I do not have anything internet connected on me. Ever.

Put quite simply I can easily lose a a nights sleep to overnight using catching up anything anywhere which is one reason when those problems came to a head, I had spankings to help put a stop to it apart from agreeing to measures to control usage.

The lack of authority on your part is palpable  as she taps the ground with the cane urging you to hurry up taking down your knickers before setting you now bared bottom bent over on fire.

It helped me a lot.

Summer playtime

As you may of gathered I was going to be away for a few days this weekend which was a part the reason for posts being a tadge rushed.

 
But as ever and increasingly more so, I had do everything like pack everything I was going to take away with me, sort out transportation and remember to take some with me a biscuit  as I'd be travelling across midday with two friends.

This tends to be easier than sorting train connections and the almost inevitable issues these days of cancellations and delays due to weather, industrial action or no driver turning up.

Seasoned readers of certain forums will know, the last few weeks haven't been good with me with family health worries not least dads cancer, diabetes and related complications so a large part of being away was to get away from that and play more.

We've been finishing a few bits of collections off such as my Blue Peter annuals most going back to when I was younger and our television wasn't colour.

There will a more frilled mode of dress going on as you all know really that's me but in a relatively subtle more Little way given the setting - it always makes sense to "Read the room" - and keep within the events expectations.

I not usually much for short sleeves especially dresses as that's one area where body image connected dysphoria is strong in me (not feeling comfortable in your skin is so not funny) but thought this was a good setting with people to try it.

Plus it's so it's so middle/little and that above all was where I wanted, nay needed right noe.

* Picture NOT brought to you Associated Rediffusion but as I has no smart phone and selfie stick (dangerous given my computer usage issues) this is as close as you're gonna get AND see, I is for real.

St Trinians!

It's been a warm start to the week here so we're having to watch time spent in the sun or for that matter upstairs as it gets very warm and I run warm as it is.

Looking more like the products of my kinda school here's the St Trinian's Girls in the classic 50's and 60's form. The series started in movie form in 1954 is about a group of unruly private school girls in a unconventional  and one might say corrupt school system who are always battling out between the Ministry of Education, any adult who crossed them and the girls themselves.

Below is a picture taken as part of renactment of part of Great Train Robbery of St Trinians film from 1966 where the girls get to play with trains!

The organizers of the preserved railway kept things very much in the spirit of the original film and the cartoons so it's high jinks rather than anything sleazy.

The uniforms have become a staple of so-called grown up dressing up in their native UK for things such as school reunions and so on which makes the ordering and wearing somewhat more straight forward than you might think. 

I enjoy wearing them when my inner girl is feeling at that level building upon my school girl at heart personality.

Something is happening

This week is gearing up into being another hot week so I'm trying to get things done before the thermometer goes above thirty so where do we begin?

This blog.

We do get comments from time to time nearly all published unless there's a good reason not to and thing to address is the elephant in the room where I am going as I write from my experience and emotions, preferring that than just publishing captions and memes.

That is why it is different - you might feel better - than some so as I go along a journey in self discovery and expression then that does alter the context although you can't erase the past some of those past elements continue in this journey perhaps less so due to opportunities but still within me.

So they may be references to spanking as a corrective if I feel it's relevant or is going on in this life although in some ways bits had been around for a while but held back not least when in some circles Little Girl vs Sissy as bitterly thought over to point you were not meant to mix even if all you wanted to do was spend some time playing with toys, dollies and that.

Indeed one person who appears to have stopped posting at one site constantly misquoted me around all of that.

And there will be some things that are more around that such as looking at publications, toys and the like.

I am pleased this blog in its currently evolving form, talking about those changes, keeping those things few really need to know every single detail of is being not merely accepted but appreciated as it is.

Thanks.

Challenges and stuff

As this is being typed a number of things do happen to be on my mind right now one being the loss of a friend in this life for some 15 years although I had seen things about them for a couple of years before, probably as cause of death hasn't been determined from complications following a health incident in early Spring this year.

Indeed we'd been expecting them and partner to our Easter party but learned they could not make it before they went to hospital for a period. 

They tended to organize things although organizing the group was often more "cat herding" and theirs was a voice you could hear across three fields at times but in the end they did stuff that others might of left and sometimes remind people about proprieties when out in public as, let's be honest some don't understand and can easily be misunderstood especially in this age of instant communication

Some of their conversations did influence me although their more puffed out frou frou dresses  with forests of petticoats wasn't me as that when into what is often called "Little Girl" dressing and they had a love of dancing where wearing 50's outfits really looked great although famously I have two left and wobbly feet.

Elements of Little Girl dressing were part of this blog as much as elements crossed into forms of more Sissy dressing although they themselves were not and that has been an influence in restoring the balance of this blog toward looks and life rather than an ouch a week.

While dealing with her death, I did read this annual from 1964.

Partly because back then roles were different and in some ways their take on girlhood is really more use to me than the less overly feminine ways of today and also back then you weren't an adult until you reached 21 which is near actual development of the human brain.

It's more interest centred unlike being all about quizes, cartoon strips and stories that publications for younger girls tended to be about such as equestrianism 

It's a bit like this.

As well there are features on the history hats and which was worn when, sports and personal care.

Something I can usefully absorb and over time use to shape my own sense of being this gurl.

Why not be a Brownie in spirit?

Some years I have put out a post around scouting simply because the sights and smells of Summer and the activities tie in so much to my experiences to the point it brings it all back in all the complications being me involves.

At one level the basic complication is just which section of the movement my little side belongs and today while girls can join scouts which has now totally ceased to be a boys thing, girl guiding is still for girls although they do accept those who medically might be boys but seeing themselves as girls are living as girls.

Given I don't  my identity issues not so much identifying as a girl any more than a boy that leaves me and those like me out in the cold.

Fortunately in the new-old world as a age dysphoric sissy, I can side step much of that and follow the basic rules and principals of guiding which are not so dissimilar to cub so for what would be more den or ceremonial purposes go with a wither wearing a brown skirt or adopt a suitably sized traditional brownie tunic but wear grey short trousers when hiking.

What Brownies is about is set out well in this illustration from a 1980's Brownie guide book you'd have when you joined

You may not see much emphasis on it today but Brownies did deal with the issue of looking after you nails, so they are short, attractive but not done in way that has as many ridges from bites than mountains!

As a sissy nail care does matter and doesn't it make sense to talk about it anyway?

As in Cubs, you EARN badges but where you put them differs and you need to sow them on so this handy little guide from the era of the classic brown tunic helps.

Exploring with your very own little canopy above you, looking out for all the mammals, birds and insects around you wasn't that what you loved to and you can today, having adventures.

That's why I've readopted this bit of past as being part of full and now open me.