Wednesday, February 26, 2020

Thoughts on being away

As you may of noticed I was actually away last week and on the other blog  I did publish an account of that time in something like chronological order which is more the how and the what part of this thing.
It's usually the thing on this blog to look more at what I felt about that time and what if anything I had learnt from that time away cos apart from ouchie content, this blog is about the emotional side of life.
 One thing to talk about is unlearning the Cotton Wool  people misguidedly put you in as a disabled child because they feel you need more protection but the trouble is that leaves you not to learn how to survive and to actually grow which requires a certain amount of resistance not unlike in working out you start off low increasing as you become stronger.

You do need risk and being challenged even accepting your limitations so you learn to work at the almost extent of your abilities, getting the most out of life and actually maturing a little, learning to deal with say climbing over rock, walking carefully sideways to get along ledges is something I had to learn rather than run away from this week.

Same goes with dealing with winds even if needed support, I had to learn to accept and trust that rather than chickening out or screaming my head off when the going got tough, finding courage and inner strength.

I've been there and done that and I dare say I'm not alone in it but I need to be better because such an set of attitudes limits my own enjoyment of life with the actual disabilities I've got so I need to use and develop my abilities too.

I know I made one miscalculation in that week but I lived going out of my comfort zone and did stuff I never managed before which didn't just feel good to me but also impressed others not by droning on about my disabilities but actually using the abilities I have.

Ditto helping out whenever I could doing chores to make a contribution to other peoples enjoyment and getting the feeling of being a net contributor to everyone's enjoyment of our time together rather than just using people to meet my own needs.

I think I'm moving on.

n

Wednesday, February 19, 2020

Caning and Middle Me

When a fair while back this whole notion of Caregiving and the use of spanking was envisaged the use of anything else outside of spanking implements such as the Paddle wasn’t really thought of although Caning and the threat of was a part of childhood in a school setting.
Something else discussed was putting ribbons in my hair to make me feel more Junior, which I think as in the picture below would be good for me.
With the involvement of other trusted Adults who are disciplinarians to me of necessity conversations were started around their ideas, what they themselves felt comfortable in delivering never mind what I did, so a broader range of corporal punishment came  in and Caning was one.

 With me the Cane is reserved for the most serious infractions where aim is less deterrence but more of extinguishing a behavioural tract by use if an more stronger soaring pain than even a Paddle.
If you haven’t been caned don’t confuse her composure for really what she is feeling is a feeling that forever will be linked to her memory of the infraction which is the entire point.
This WILL happen to my bottom from now on.
 Although its use is very sparing I’m happy, nay glad when I need it, those who care for me will use it to help me behave.The pain really helps.

Wednesday, February 12, 2020

Why my knickers are always down

Some folks argue about the effectiveness of it but often miss the point.
A thin pair of knickers doesn’t provide much protection to your bottom in all honesty, modesty maybe but hey is that what you need?
 It’s two-fold, the first being bring in you a sense of shame in having to be disciplined and allied to that is that you were no longer in control of the situation. Those things really motivate a girl to avoid getting into a spanking by being responsible and thinking about what she’s doing. Shame is quite effective, trust me and why good Caregivers and disciplinarians  take the trouble to give you that emotion.

The second is if like me you are disciplined with leather or wooden implements too, they help your disciplinarian to see you’re getting a good red bottom while looking out for any cuts or heavy bruising.
That’s why I always have my knickers taken down by those in my life who can and do spank me when I need it. It may be my birthday soon but I'm still young enough to be spanked.

Wednesday, February 5, 2020

Sanriotown issues and more

 It was with some shock to find on Friday last an activity that had been a part of my internet life for a long time just wasn't available outside of the other business talked about elsewhere and still isn't available as I type this.
For almost as long as this blog has been going, Sanriotown.com was the first port of call not just for The Game but also things such as the busy forum where by design discussions were never 18+ which suited me as most adult conversations go over my head and don't really fit in my life, offered wallpaper and screen-savers.

They also has something I just adored, a oh so kawaii email with customization of the domains for whatever sanriotown character you liked  which for me meant I had a me @hellokitty.com email address that linked directly to things such as ecards you could people at Easter, Thanksgiving and Christmas and that

When I went to look at it, my email had gone with over a decades worth of stored emails from past organizations and acquaintances 

The overall impression is that sanriotown.com and Hello Kitty Online is for all intents and purposes dead joining other sites we used such as experience project, friends reunited, beststuff and the GeoCities blogging platform in the internet graveyard. 
Something else I wish to get off my chest is I have no interest in sissification and all it's female dominate misandry driven tropes having had more than enough people on tumblr and on other no longer with us sites try to bracket me in with all that stuff.

I'm into age regression, being an adult but acting from a age regressed little/middle girl mindset where everything is from my own childhood era what it was and seen as suitable for an actual child not some kink based game.

I like boys as in adult males who are age regressed to be just that, with gumption, purpose and to act and dress like one not in ridiculously exposing super fussy dresses that no girl would be seen dead in while being treated in grossly humiliating fashion by bossy women.
I feel it's wrong to 'make' boys like that and a insulting parody of real femininity.
  

Wednesday, January 29, 2020

Is there a place for the Adult Age Regressor

Sometimes  back to places at the bequest of a friend can bring some matters back into focus such as the differences between terminology between Age Regression and Age Play cos in some respects we tend not to fit in so well with Age Play groups not that I'm saying anything against individuals at all but sometimes long for places free from those eighteen or under from the drama and need to be super careful about not messaging them least anyone make out you were doing things you shouldn't (even if like me you just wouldn't) and teen spats.

For us being Little means being child-like in the mindset of a child even if legally we're adults acting upon those feelings and emotions as if we were that child again all (emotional) age appropriate.

The thing we find is Age play communities tend to go with kink such as BDSM and they seem to see a Little as a Submissive in a power dynamic to a Dominant  whole very much rules the roost often involving submissive gains with props, some of which do inflict pain and frequently a sexual side that is controlling.

Of course it need not be all like that, everyone is an individual, but the online version in particular seems to lack any protective,nurturing sides with empathy more a power trip mutually agreed to.

For us while there are Caregivers, those people are about providing the stability, guidance and love that perhaps we didn't get when we were younger or because of trauma or abuse we find loving ourselves and trusting others so much more the harder even if some situations they may chastise us (by consent).

Age Play communities often don't really want us around and trying to find places that do like over 18 age regressors who may prefer time with legal adults and who may have meetings and the like going on seems so hard at times.

Wednesday, January 22, 2020

Check your privilege

One modern trend is the "Culture wars" that are played out on social media, on campuses, in the courts with the battle cry "Check your privilege" as  its supports hold being in whole social groups gives you unearned and unwarranted advantages that effectively hold others back.
At least that's how they see it.

The retort to the proposition that criticism of one Meghan Markle is racially motivated suggesting it had more to do with how her actions are seen as met on BBC Tv's question time with the person being told they were not fit to comment as a white male and to "check their privilege" by a minority rights lecturer.

Their proposition runs black people only know how in lots of ways they are discriminated against and put down verbally and so any time a criticism is  made by a mainly white source such as the Mass Media, then it is. The end.

The Mass Media here have things to answer for, obsessive interests, playing people off  and yes sometimes racially motivated (or at least culturally insensitive) commentary but in this instance many in Britain's BME community do agree with that man.

A bigger argument can be made  that the process of comparing and contrasting similar people by gender and role (the obvious example being Catherine and Meghan) that it's less about race so much it is about what the roles of "Royal" women should be that editors are trying to shape.
Less racism, more misogyny if you like.

More to the point, can a blanket assumption of white privilege be upheld as if just being white puts you further forward on the starting block ignoring poverty, education (the lowest levels of attainment are white working class males). chronic disabilities and even the extent to which you applied your abilities studying or training?

If a black women in her twenties and a white male of the same age both win a 200 metre race can we say he's had every advantage and didn't earn his win? What if she'd of come from a well off background background and he hadn't possibly having health issues in his early childhood? 

Because I'm white does that mean I'm privileged beyond that anyone who is black even with may many long term health issues and disabilities? Things that have resulted in discrimination, verbal and physical abuse even?
Do you even 'get' me and my needs?

I suspect as a tool for saying we ought to be sensitive to others needs  and think before we make wide statements this term really is inadequate for the complexity of what constitutes advantage  and the extent to which any group of people use it.
It also has the ability to promote discrimination itself.

Wednesday, January 15, 2020

More on my Tumblr

This week I'm talking about a change I made on the Tumblr I wrote about last week but before I get on to that, the situation was actually a bit worse potentially than I had thought.

You see, I just thought I'd been blocked and was facing a community banning where someone posts your account internet address, specifies your rule breaking and suggests people should ban you but that thank goodness did not happen as I said there was much wrong with that persons rational.

No what happened instead was they tried to have me listed as "Adult Content" for the alleged DD/lg posts which weren't in any way about that and had reported me to Tumblr management and somewhere in the emotional disturbance, I must of clicked a request a review.

Now Tumblr have said there is no Adult Content as they define it and have fully restored as sfw my account.

So to recap Tumblr who I have many issues with are saying there is nothing adult or inappropriate with my blog and they are its hosts even if this misinformed minor thought otherwise.

And that person has restored their own account!!!

With that out of the way, I'll talk a little about what I have done with that tumblr over the last few days. 

My Tumblr goes back a long time March 2013 to be exact being old in Tumblr terms  so as part of the moves ready for marking it's seventh anniversary in just over seven weeks times time it's been given a bit of a make over.

The last time it had one was just before Christmas 2016 after some business with one age regression community caused issues that it has taken years to work through so it was probably time.

One step was to remove a few posts from the early days where the people who I had reblogged something from had tagged them to things that aren't minor friendly (and much of modern age regression on Tumblr wasn't a thing then).

 I changed the avatar over to an illustration that captures the kind of girl I am, cleaning the image up too.

I changed its name to something that is more about being a younger adult little and potentially further  away from being seen as a  Cg/l  Tumblr even if I'm not given unlike a fair few others I never remade my blog entirely when I moved to Age Regression communities.

 I also decided to change the header to something more Junior reflecting my love for Paddington Bear from reading the books and watching the BBC tv cartoon series as an actual junior with this still of Paddington at breakfast with Judy sat eating hers in her school uniform.
She was of course a boarding school girl that has a nod to a more anime and fashion tumblr I have...

The previous one was more younger and whimsyish which I felt I had outgrown to be honest.