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Things are better in pink I think!

 As explained on the other blog, not much tm happened at the weekend but maybe that enforced break was a good thing in a way because it meant I used time to just switch off and relax rather than trying to get a half dozen things  together.
Sometimes just listening to story-telling can help with it outside of my regressive needs so being able to 'tune in' to a friends streamed show with messaging to kind help relax, tossing any unneeded grown up thoughts out of the window on Sunday helped.
The other thing is I feel more confident in myself, what I'm about (and what I'm not) what it is I'm trying to do knowing actually I own that that leaves me feeling more purposeful, like I'm in control here.
I walked through a door smiling with confidence.
The noise from next doors building works is a pain but I'm just going out more into the outdoors and they pack up mid afternoon and it shouldn't be that long before it's all over with with most of the roof timbers in.
Now for a Magnum icecream!

Cardigans of the past

I'm not too good this week with bad hay fever thanks the pollen count has been very high here but as I'm slowly getting things together for being away next month, my mind was going backwards in timenot least with Mom talking about life when Gran was around.

Way back then it was rare outside of uniform stuff to be bought any knitwear because the one source of knit was Gran who had  big drawfull of knitting patterns she'd show you and the all important measuring tape which as regular as clockwork would come out.
Gran had a lot of the Sirdar ones and actually this pattern but in a wine colour wool was one she did make for me as I preferred cardigans although they'd be prefastened by Mom as I'm not good with buttons.

A complicated weekend

You know something in life are 'complicated', they just are and sometimes several of them just come together as one it's much more harder going.

Take Grumpy whose 'Grumpy' day was Sunday for instance and my feelings are very complex because he's a character of extremes, of being capable of being understanding and prepared to do lots of things and yet a person who says hurtful things without thinking, has through his behaviour in the past brought us to point police calls were being threatened  growing up when he'd hurl items across rooms getting really aggressive and yes actually committed ABH on my younger brother cos he come home from work, mom was in bed and because he was expected to make tea but having a severe migraine was in the rest room, came in and got the fists out.
But then, what of that brother himself?
He stole money from me, intimidated and told blatant lies about me exploiting my vulnerabilities as a then disabled child because I wasn't prepared to lie because he was committing fraud against Mom stealing from  her, and not attending classes.
Today he refuses at times to speak to me and as like this Saturday just totally ignored me as if I'm worthless trash to which my folks won't call him out over.
So when think about it, you see what I mean about being complicated and how plays on my anxieties.

Preparing for Summer and Too Much Yelling Going On

After last weeks messy entry, I was determined to write about something a bit more pleasanter and more about what this blog was really what this blog was for although it can and does sometimes act as a place to vent my emotions.
I've been working on things connected with going away next month such as the quiz I put on, devising the questions, getting the prizes organized as if I do a quiz then good prizes are a must between going out for daily walks.
As well I have been checking over my wardrobe and fixing any last minute replacements as it's easy to ignore that pin prick hole in a t shirt or whole just where you toe pushed through in your shorter more summery socks.
I was thinking a bit about an issue the other day.
Connected with a bit of my past, while rightly we are concerned about physical abuse of children and vulnerable adults, it's not by any means the only form of abuse going and I rather suspect the kind of person why may at one point 'crossed the line' with physical chastisement  is now doing with verbal chastisement.

Because a physical mark isn't left doesn't mean an injury hasn't been caused and this was a pretty good, easy to understand poster making the point which believe me can cause major problems to those prone to sensory overload.
Too much shouting just makes them fearful and critically causes them to switch off so they message for all that shouting isn't communicated effectively. 

Caregiver/little Age Regresion

It is a while since I wrote anything around age regression and one reason is connected to changes across Tumblr which as I'm usually want to say isn't always the whole real world (and some issues there are just Tumblr issues) but it acts as a conduit for debate and the marking of what people understand by it as if we don't share that, then it becomes a fruitless exercise.

My main community on Tumblr has been fairly inactive as it's mod (and leader) for personal reason has been away for a good nine months and the second one is very active and one area of that has been working on is what the shared understanding of what that is because the community (Cgl/RE) came about on the back of an influx of age regressors on Tumblr and the thorny area of some folk  interacting with kink bdsm communities such as DD/lg and MD/lb and gender variants when they were under 18.

 The term "Cg/l" is a disputed one being used by some clearly as a gender neutral term for a DD -Dominant Daddy-(or MD) Lg (or Lb) and  Little which in bdsm circles 'little' mean submissive or totally subservient person in a relationship.
Some have used it a more as a paternal, non dominate and non sexual Caregiver and Little meaning the person being very much in child-like frame of mind and looked after more as an actual child.

I especially on Tumblr don't use Cg/l as a term because kink usage is more common place so it would be seen as that and so use Cglre to describe the relationship between a Caregiver and age regressor (little) because it is clearer there is no question of dominance, power exchange nor sexual services involved.

In face to face so-called real life interactions these important differences tend not to cause too much friction because people can sense what the context is and do respect differences.
On Tumblr that's very much another story and where people find things under key words called 'tags' a difference can lead to people being exposed to things they don't wish and in particular under 18's seeing or interacting with 18+ kink things. That's so not good!!!

That was why distinct Age Regression communities removed from kink/bdsm were established there to separate the more 18+ communities from those of us who love or for me certainly need to be in a more child-like age regressed  situation while acknowledging words can be a battle ground.

It was a part of the solution to the issue on Tumblr of 'minors in kink' and the many worrying things that could happen when adults in kink were mixing with minors as there now  was a  non kink sfw space available for them who found such regression helpful in dealing trauma and so on.

My involvement as anyone who has read this blog and interacted on line or even -gasp! - face to face knows has always been the second meaning of Cg/l  and ADULT paternal Carer/Caregiver to a Little child-like me and  so has moved to terms more clearly linked the age regression community in the years since setting up that tumblr.
It's one reason I align strongly to the Cgl/re community on Tumblr from its emergence in July 2016 and it is that community that is currently more active.

Cglre is now defined as:

• A non-kink age regression community separate from cgl by making it age regression specific.
• Reclaiming the terms “caregiver” and “little” as non-kink terms anyone can use to describe their regression and their guardians if they have them, meaning the one who cares for them in their regression headspace.
• Age regression community open to caregivers and age regressors; as well as pet regressors and different roles with many new, sfw corresponding tags.

Cglre now has a stricter DNI policy as many of its members do NOT allow direct cgl interaction.
Cglre no longer equals cgl. It is not longer a subset of cgl, it stands on its own.

(Borrowed as is from @cglreregression block list post May 2018)

For me it's always been thus even in throws of much discourse mirroring the off line so-called in real life side surviving the three weeks of turbulence of the Care Bear logo'd community before that parting of the ways  I'll draw a line under.

For me the current understanding of what Caregiver Little age regression is a significant  step forward making clearer the difference between how we do things and how those in kink and its related age play do.

That's why getting close to the two year anniversary of CGLRE's founding  I find myself ever closer to that community online and its values across my age regressed life.

The management of online boundaries is often more problematic than face to face ones  and an active system of monitoring of community only tags and community blocklist for people who just won't keep their kink to themselves or insist on including you in it without any prior contact is a must and Cglre provides that to the point I had to use that last Monday.

Whilst I presently remain just very close  to Cglre on Tumblr unless anything were to happen soon, when you're at the point you act almost as if you are in a community, there comes a point I feel where it makes more sense to join, taking a part in it and I may well do just that.

Ignoring boundaries on social media

I'm not to be honest in a particularly good mood presently even though when I got up on Monday morning I did feel fine, having rather more spoons than I did at the end of the week and it has an awful lot to do with a site on Tumblr that I chose not to interact with as I have strict limits about what should be on any tumblr I do.
Let's just start with what are the basic standards for my tumblr which are not untypical of age regressors.
* Safe for work
* NOT 18+ material
* 100% kink free
*  Non sexual
*  No violence,  gore, incest, hentia or child porn
Pretty straightforward don'tcha think?
This is written on a page and in a simplified form is on the actual Tumblr banner so it is clear to anyone wishing to reblog or message me what I want no interaction with.
Okay, a person to whom I do not follow decides to message me channeling his scat (nothing to do with Jazz but everything to with human body waste) play likes in the form of diaper fantasy involving me. Remember at this point I haven't shown the slightest interest in this nor consent to be a part of his kink.
The text is graphic and to me at least frankly disgusting.
I spend time screen shotting the message, getting his URL and screenshotting his banner showing clearly he was NSFW 18+ clearly breaching my interaction limits before submitting to a leading age regression communities blocklist in case he tries this on with others not least those under 18.
While doing this one sees his blog literally contains more of this sh1t, used diapers, people ahem just doing 'it'  so 'stuff it' I think and start the tedious process of reporting to Tumblr the whole effing blog not least as it isn't even flagged up as 'Adult' meaning any minor can come across this filth.
Why oh why is it so many kinksters on Tumblr has absolutely no conception of never mind respect for personal boundaries and being a little doesn't automatically mean either you wear diapers, fill them and especially not engaged in playing with human waste products to the point you'd contact them out of the blue to write  stories featuring them in it?
I sure never asked nor expressed an interest in it.

Think Pink!

It's a new month so when I consider what we have talked about over the last one, we discussed music twice, nature and then the royal wedding so I thought I'd do something different.
We are at least officially in Summer so my thoughts are geared around things like next months few days away and looking through the wardrobe seeing what can go or maybe replaced.

 I can't speak for everyone but in the summer months one thing I can't get enough of is t shirts so this is one of a few I got recently because they slot well between presentation styles made from pure cotton.
They also tend to be easy to wash which helps so they go straight in the machine's pile and the across the washing line outdoors.
It's good to toss away the layers for a few months of the year and enjoy the fresh air and sun.
Also this week I recopied a few cds to my music player for better sound and art so when I play them on the go, it's a much better experience.