Discipline and the disabled middle

Some people with the best of intentions get a fundamental  thing wrong about having a disability (or if you’re like me several overlapping ones) and this doesn’t just run into raising children it does cover handling the adult middle or little.

It’s that saying you have condition x or syndrome y, it’s implied somewhere down the line that as the person with you have no control whatsoever over and the only thing you can do is just distract you from any inappropriate behaviour.

The message you get is “I can’t help it, don’t punish me for it” and not a few people buy that forgetting that in many instances you can develop some control (it may be hard going though) and in any event we have to live in society where the only one set of  laws and commonly accepted values applying to all.

The reality though is more often than not I do know the difference between right and wrong, people with disabilities especially mentally debilitation ones like mine are actually much sharper than you'd credit me for.

We do pick up on patterns of behaviour and so test the limits and very capable of soon getting out of control.

When I'm like that, acting up causing you to think about how to respond,  I (and many others) are quite capable of comprehending certain types of behaviour result in consequences.

If there is room to act out and you create a mental space for me to do so, then I will be defiant and stubborn.

With me my parents felt really quite guilty about how my disabilities affected me to the point they seldom really disciplined me for anything nor expected anything by way of respect or following fairly ordinary rules around contributing to family life.

In many ways what I need and certainly needed at the time was clear structure and  to have enforced consequences

So when it comes to being an adult middle (or little), actually you should treat us like any other when it comes to dealing with our attitudes and behaviour.

 

If I have been dishonest disrespectful  or disobedient, spank me  cos 

I'm not that stupid enough not to known it was wrong.

 

 Pull my knickers down to help me feel your spanking

 

Don't feel you cannot cane me when my behaviour deserves it either.

 Make me do Corner Time with my bottom bared

Although we all operate from a position of informed consent, there is no earthly reason I should be spared from regular middles discipline such as spanking and the cane just because I’m disabled because I have the same needs as any other middle.

If my attitudes and behaviour warrant it, then it should just happen within the agreed limits. There are times when I do attempt to use my disabilities to justify laziness or acting up and for that I should be treated like any other middle.

Actually a clear cut structured system of rules and applied discipline is extremely  beneficial for some of us