Behaviour

You may read this blog, probably see the header and it’s brief tag line thinking, Jo is just about spanking, might fancy herself as a princess and possibly is a brat.
I’ve written a bit about how how I struggle with everyday tasks, the sort you may take very much for granted such as catching a bus, making myself understood and really understanding what you said, getting myself dressed, coping with shopping and so on.
All of these things stem from actual real life disabilities of which I have several plus some acquired injuries in later life for which I should of received help in finding coping strategies and given I’m not able to work, some sort of appropriate therapeutic day care where work on them and with my actual abilities which I do have, would happen.
I’ve been left to myself instead.
It didn’t help at all that I fell though the cracks in the system for disabled people when I turned eighteen with the authorities just seeing someone who had studied and was ‘normal’ preferring to concentrate on those who used aids to get around most of time or not in academic study rather than the me that couldn’t manage an everyday task like going shopping, handling money and getting confused really easy something that gotten worse following brain damage from an playground accident in my mid teens.
This said what has made things harder for me has been parental attitudes and conflictual approaches that in a relationship for both myself and siblings was one of both had to agree before anything about us ever happened.
I had to fight tooth and nail to get them to attend school meetings about my education and things like parents evenings as they really weren’t that fussed about my work, especially the lack of it, cutting out for whole terms things like History homework cos I didn’t feel like it.
It took a lot of intervention from a no nonsense Geography Mistress who generally sat on me, did spank me a lot to get the point of getting a reasonable exam pass in that subject when my course work was D minus and below and she never got the homework she set.
God, I’d loved to lived with her as she did care to say NO YOU’RE NOT, Jo and get on with the job of disciplining me.
Because they were at odds on so many things, little real 'moulding’ or character training happened,  like for a long time I wasn’t allowed in the kitchen  so had no knowledge of how to fix a coffee or make a meal for myself, something I had to be shown in the workplace by colleagues and as for handling situations where I’d see red and just go down a path of non-cooperation, unable to stop and them being at odds about how and if they should.
Across the board they wrapped me up in sympathetic cotton wool rather than helping me adjust to the outside world, not that you could artificially equalize me but you could help me to manage better.
Most of my more bratty moments come from the stresses and strains in dealing with situations I don’t understand and am clueless in as I’m nearly always in middle space simply cos I don’t have much of an Adult side to speak of and usually am staring out to space waiting for Grown Up to sort it out, helpless like.
There are times when the Middle me is out when faced Adult requirements the only way of expressing them she knows is to just go off sulking or throws a tantrum.
Sometimes that very child-like side can lead to 'over-trust’ and not seeing where what someone suggesting really ends up.
In so many ways to help me cope, middle me needs you to spank my bottom to help regulate my attitudes and behaviours when I can’t.