One aspect of how a kind of return to school days comes out is through a kind of costume based situation in which I dress as a adult school girl which helps me find my real sense of place, fully letting middle me out feeling very much whole and complete.
It’s a place that’s increasingly accepted by my Caregiver, other trusted Adults who share responsibility of me and after a while my natural parents who are at one with it.
As my previous rather long post about behaviour explained fairly well, I find it very hard to live without set rules and guidelines, messing up pretty badly when left entirely to my devices.
In general, when it comes to being an adult I’m not much good at that and many of the reasons are routed in things that cannot be changed and after much soul searching over the years, I’ve made my peace with it.
I struggle with dealing things like bills, banking and dealing with organizations whose correspondence I struggle to make sense of.
That’s where people like my Caregiver and other trusted adults come in and for me that includes cp and non cp discipline working in tandem with the love and guidance that now feature in my life.
Yes I am and had the catch phrase in previous blog life as “Spanked Girl” cos that’s very much what I am and a cropped version of the image below become my avatar cos it encapsulated me: A ‘middle’ ‘adult little girl’ who wears her pinafore dress and is subject to spanking when my attitudes and behaviour fall short.
Things usually progress from spanked over my underwear to having it lowered to really drive the message home with me.
It’s very very effective with me, doesn’t mess my head up nearly as much as any other forms of discipline and has the merit of being over with, slate wiped clean at the end.
Thereafter I resume as me doing all the things middle me loves to do, still in the loving, protected and disciplining hands of those who are caring for me.
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