I'm pleased the week went well, not least for my mentors delight I did really well this week and not even needing to be reminded about my behaviour when with friends which goes to show what with proper guidance I can do.
Although it was embarrassing to have to admit to it, explaining my addiction to the internet felt like a weight was lifted of my shoulders and I was helped to tackle it by having my netbook stored way from me overnight to ensure I do get my sleep.
Like, a lot of these things go back and sometimes into the present around how you see you and how you fit in with it.
You might have been encouraged along a line of thinking that said the World and how it treats You is unfair, which it can be, but you're to man the barricades fighting it, refusing to accept the world as it is in any way shape or form.
You make no attempt to co-operate with it's representatives preferring to make demands for Your rights no matter what effect it may have on others and how they may feel about that list of demands.
Because you're different, well you should have different rules and if you dare question it toss an extra helping of guilt in.
Sure that's an farsided paraphrasing but it's one I'm familiar with knowing people like that and yes I was the same for a very long time but that isn't allowed to cut it anymore with me.
You know, we see the warnings about the dangers of sugary drinks and snacks, corroding your teeth but that rich syrupy My Rights alone stuff does the same to your ability to take your place in the World and your backbone.
It sets you on a collusion course with everyone and every organization you meet where you would have been better encouraged to work with people, accepting yourself and your abilities and that sensible adjustments apart the world just isn't fair. You can't try out for the fire service in a wheelchair although there's no reason you can't for the control room instead.
That's not the same as saying real injustices ought not to be protested, that actual discrimination isn't wrong and people may not handle you quite right requiring something to be said, it's just there are more effective ways of doing it.
As well, most people are decent and fair minded so an appeal on those grounds often is more effective than adopting a confrontational pose.
Following on a bit from last weeks entry it wasn't just the heady rich syrupy My Rights that worked it's way through corroding your backbone and making it hard to slot in the World as it is, there was something else too.
An enabler.
From the least expected place it came along saying you and you alone were special and entitled to demand a better deal than your peers.
You could have different rules in effect because they would refuse to accept the idea you'd be treated the same as others on the basis of either you couldn't help it or your life is hard enough as it is, taking that to any authority figure, another parent, group leader or school jumping up and down screaming about the injustice of it.
Or maybe you'd encounter some group or other that would encourage you in doing just that.
The strange thing was while I thought at the time I was entitled to refuse to be treated like any other kid, when as did happened those people just plowed on treating me the same to the point of also just going ahead and spanking me regardless, I did feel it did me more good and I did manage to behave myself better around them.
Somethings can have a dual purpose which no doubt has a lot to do with their acceptance in domestically delivered discipline.
It often goes through my hair, keeping it straight, knot free and even having a soft massaging feel.
On the other side, that has been used on me to deliver firm memorable spankings that are changing some long term destructive patterns of behaviour not before time.
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