The freedom within

People sometimes wonder where you may find a sense of freedom and where within this lifestyle it can be found given much of the misinformation and criticism you see around.
I suppose the first thing I’d say was that as individuals we have certain freedoms in many instances backed by laws to protect rights such as to have free association, to express points of view, to information that’s free from government interference and bias, to express our sexual and gender identity and practise our beliefs within reason.
Nobody I’ve ever encountered in the World of littles or within ddlg ever argued against those things, indeed regardless of  party politics, many have been the strongest advocates for individual liberties and freedoms I’ve ever encountered.
How we use those freedoms in our lives and relationships is very much our own business because they are the bigger things that enable it but the notion that the smaller side, that of how private lives are structured needs to be based on joint everything is not one even in Vanillaville necessarily follows.
After all how do you think a situation where both of you had the last say would work out?
Not very well which is why someone somewhere always has it even though everybody else  may well contribute and so have a say. In other words, we may have an equal right to say what we feel, ultimately one person is in charge but we expect them to take account in that of how we feel because they care for us.
For me this whole side is discussed and reviewed between my caregiver and I which is a relationship of halves, that isn’t so much equal although based very much on respect but complementary.
The big things are just between us as individuals that we pursue as ourselves without limits.
The things that are not are more around what is required for me to be happy, contented, free from the attitudes and behaviours that so get in the way of satisfactory relationships with others, undermine my own well-being and abilities to be more personally independent.
He works with me in creating the space for me to express my little side because he understands just how badly repressed feelings are for me, not just feeling sad but build into negative attitudes I then project at others.
We discuss the difficulties I have because of my learning/developmental issues that make my day to day living difficult looking at what I can do to manage them better and he has me work toward them.
He discusses with me my behaviours and attitudes around people, those expectations most people share working through them but all subject to rules which I am expected to follow not just because they are rules  or just liking authority over me but because how I behave effects others and makes things bad for me.
He disciplines me whenever I do not cos he enjoys it but because he knows I need to change my behaviour and all to often just talking over things is less than helpful as keeping track mentally with long scoldings is extremely stressful as I struggle processing instructions at the best of times and frankly spanking me is not just more effective but actually the whole experience is more calming. Ultimately it’s kinder to me.
It’s also the case when I’m good and I have worked well toward my personal development goals, I have a say in the rewards he gives me to encourage me to grow, becoming more confident in my abilities to handle situations which outside of our relationship I gotten no help with at all.
For me my personal freedom comes from not being left in situations I can’t cope with in an advanced state of license nor from being so controlled I have no personal liberty but from between where I’m supported, corrected and loved in dealing with those areas of my life I can learn to take appropriate responsibility given my difficulties and where I can’t, I’m taken care of with you respecting my needs.
* This was a original post from August 2015 which I feel is important in understanding why this life is so much better for me.  Fortunately I had a copy of it so it can be added to the New Woodshed