Storytime

 

It may sound wierd but I often her myself saying that in my mind cos I've the simpliest of concepts in some ways, it's why I love listing to a streamed storytime for littles near enough every weekend with a couple of stories on the go.

I just find it incredably relaxing to just sit there enchanted taking in the story with nothing else intruding upon it in the way I loved at infant and junior school sat in a circle with friends as the teacher would begin.

You just go into that other world for a period, totally immersed where you are just there with them.

I know you read books too, but being read to just feels so different and I just come out of it so much more relaxed than before.

Perhaps that's the best thing for me?

Recovering thoughts

If I appear to be a bit behind or generally washed out it's because for the last week and a bit I have been seriously unwell, the likes of which I haven't been for a long time and in some respects the closest to death itself even so I'm kinda playing catch up even if if I need to rest more.
I'll probably know a bit more after I've been for another blood pressure test as while being treated for the other, they spotted it was high which of itself is nothing new as it's always been that way.
I mean five years ago, we went through a whole battery of tests including 24 hour monitoring and concluded there wasn't much that really could be done and I kind of expect something similar by way of an outcome.
When it comes to the other it's going to just taking things slow as I recover and without a shadow of a doubt spending more of my time in and centred on this littler time for being not just more restful but also engaging in those more positive experiences from then as I learn to adapt.
To be honest, it seems to me the more time flies the more I'm handing back chunks of what passed for adulthood not that I could fully use it and that being presumed to be didn't create more  complications in exchange for being (and being treated as) a child in effect.
Frankly there are times when I'd sooner sign a waiver for society to treat me like that across the board as that's what I can better cope with and is so much less stressful for me and would be more straightforward for most folk too as they'd know what to doing and that much better.

A week in the life of Jo

One thing I tend to talk about at various places is missing spoons because however I wrap the thing up, just living as me physically, mentally and psychologically takes a lot of out me as try to keep up with everybody else.
It's especially bad at times of the year like the one we're going through where it has bee unrelentingly hot, over 28 degrees  for over a week so hot you struggle to get to sleep at night and wake up with damp night clothes sticking to you as the sweat has been absorbed  by them, leaving you feeling clammy.
It's a reason why I needed to leave chat early last night as I was starting to feel too far gone and also dehydrated.
It's been an uphill struggle to get things done as you just lie there first thing feeling tired before you've even done a thing, never mind everyday stuff like fixing food, getting some exercise in to keep myself reasonable fit and loss a bit of weight and even read or colour so the fact I'm at least doing it is a sign of some self discipline being in me now.
I as sure as heck would not of a few years back.
 

The League Of Adult Schoolgirls

The week here so far hasn't been particular stressful although I will be thinking through what I actually need to take with me next Friday for that weekend and maybe write some cards out in advance. I have in any event got the transport side sorted out.
One project I'm working on presently is "The league of adult schoolgirls" on Tumblr because there are a number of us who are Adult Schoolgirls and also some Adult Schoolboys whose interest in this is  purely age regressed having no sexual or bdsm based kink aspects and we have a number of issues from this.
One is the number of people do are more sexually Age Playing not just following but reblogging and messaging us inappropriately even though we say we do not want no sexual or bdsm contact.
The second is to get some ideas around common posting standards when it comes to content so we all know what to expect and help establish that as a standard for us so we stand out in a see of porn and bdsm blogs.
Thirdly it is to by using tags to make it easier to find actual Adult Schoolgirl or boy Tumblrs free from that stuff so in effect we are able to be a sfw non sexual community in Tumblr in our own right.
Part of that stems from although we in every other way are in sfw Age Regression many communities are Minor Friendly and so aren't keen on adults wearing uniform posts often erroneously seeing it as an Age Play kink which obviously isn't okay for minors. That means in practise we cannot have Tumblrs in those Communities that feature Adult Schoolgirl or boys even when sfw and non sexual and some communities even take issue with you having a side blog from your main one if it feature that content.
It's one reason why in the past I tended to keep references to it on a external blog to which a link might be posted.
I'll be interest to see how this works out.

Responsible Jo elsewhere

As a number of you will be aware I do have a Tumblr (two if you really must know) and the original Tumblr that goes all the way back to  March Twenty-thirteen is the only remaining one of the batch I took out when a Lolita friend of mine suggested it.
I was reluctant as I had a bad experiences on Experience Project of things that had groupings as Dani and I had people who just latched on to us as if we were Great Teachers or Guru's for talking about fixing our lives hanging on our last words and that and it creeped me out around 2009/10.
Fast forward and I'm shocked to find I have two hundred eighty seven Tumblr followers in little/middle communities all seeing my every post in their streams with seventeen coming all in at a twenty-four hour period in Twenty-seventeen that I never asked for  nor asked anyone to really push my Tumblr other than it bring listed at DD/lg World, SN and on my main Middles Blog.
Had I of known how this Tumblr was to have taken off and how it was I was going to be using it I'd of adopted a more deliberate planned approach, the one I had on the one started May same year that got swept away by Tumblr some sixteen month ago which was really meant to be a more middles one and ironically is more like the 'new' 90% age regressed sfw 10 % non sexual spanking than the spanking based one that just didn't work out.
It feels like an awesome responsibility between fun posts to be sharing ideas around age regression with a number of minor followers being more like "Auntie Jo" than just Jo the still growing up girl that I am.
It's hard for me to accept people look up to me but I suppose it's an indication of how I am as a person that people do and in that way I'm back to being Junior Prefect in this life assuming more responsibility, being Big Sister for a community.
Greatest feeling I get being there is just to chill out while watching others learn to handle their very real life difficulties through age regression, getting better at coping with what life has left them with and perhaps being a footnote in their progress.

On relationships and life

While I was away this weekend an account of which can be found Here  I found myself thinking about the role of relationships in my life.
Relationships not least family ones have  played a negative part in my upbringing from distancing, not willing to get close to me or to encourage me to get closer, being more overly affectionate as well as a sense of suspicious  between family members that just corroded any meaningful sense of trust and security I ever had.
Living in a world where you always watched your back, where telephone conversations were bugged, people lurked behind doors listening in  and mail read took its toll on me even to the point I was writing or drawing stuff about it in my teens on correspondence and never kept a formal diary in case it was read which it would.
That's one of differences now cos I do but it's more online journalling it may be such as with my main blog an account of a day out or interests related or more about my moods and emotions cos it me understanding them and helps with having some record I can refer to.
One of the things that has altered for me now is how it is I am expected to co-operate and behave with other people and that's been a thing that's talked about here so when I was away I was expected to help with things such as setting the table, washing up and generally helping out.
I am also expected now to help in the kitchen with making whatever we are going to eat even if some tasks may be done for me because I am expected to use my abilities to contribute whatever my disabilities may prevent.
If I do something wrong that I know I shouldn't like trying to cut things on the top of the sink where I'd either mark it or risk injuring myself which I did, then I was spanked there and then for it to ensure I learn from it which I was
What I longed for as an adult little girl is the simple love and affection of a forever mother and father figure who will help me feel loved, wanted and secure so I can grow.
Was that too much to ask?
I think after thinking over how things have been not this weekends time spent with one who does looks after me the answer has to be no because they are actively engaged in making me grow, feeling secure but at same time prepared to discipline me.
It was and is what I truly needed.

The A to Z of Jo staying with you

When you get to see this I will be almost ready to go away for a few days so in the intervening time I have been super busy organizing my transportation, making sure I take what I need and that it is all been properly washed and any outstanding business is taken care off.

 

When it comes to going away things are always different with me compared to most in that in the first instance whoever I stay with assumes some responsibility for me because of the limits on my abilities not just physically but also when it comes to my abilities to exercise responsibility and make quick judgments.

In a good many respects I have the position and all the authority of a teen girl staying with relatives because while I do have a say, the higher level decisions are made for me and I am subject to house rules in a direct way.

This is for a number of reasons such as I struggle with options, often getting confused around implications and consequences to the point of just freezing over, often I require supervision to make sure breaks and get to bed at a reasonable time so I have a no later than bedtime and can be sent to bed if I'm tired.

I do wear uniform when I am with them at all times except if we're going in a place where regular folk congregate such shops and the like.

Also I am scolded and spanked by them should I be dishonest, disobedient or disrespectful to them or anyone else during that period as most adult ways of dealing with this just don't work with me but that does.

To be honest, I find this actually quite a lot better for me not least for it is a less anxious experience, that if I do mess up (and I'm prone to it) at least everything is over and done with and as necessary I'm helped to put things right to other peoples satisfaction where whenever I had been with people before I just messed up and we just got to the point I was dead nervous about going and they'd be left feeling they'd 'have' to take me or I was for a forever kind of punishment.

That it ties in with my little/middle side and its needs helps to keep some inner tensions down between trying impersonate a grown up and in many ways the lack of such a side in me which just added to the difficulties following higher level discussion of the sort you expect of adults.

It is also helping me more deal with my emotions, sorting some of my attitudes out which people just faced with a potential meltdown in adult company didn't deal with.

Standards and their origins

One of things that does matter is telling the truth not that going by popular opinion  is it something we expect from people in positions of power such as business leaders or politicians although I feel our expectations ought to higher even if at times dashed.

The must basic reason for this is we have a need to feel the other person has a sense of honesty and integrity about them, that what they say is based on reality rather than either wishful thinking or something having no basis at all in fact.

Most of us can understand  and relate to what are sometimes called 'magical thoughts' where belief is suspended because the illusion of say" seeing an elephant fly" is preferable to us than the reality which is of course that they cannot. That whole notion is very child-like and because we saw it in our imagination it may feel real but isn't.

Telling the whole truth is something we can all struggle with especially if by doing so it shows us  in a poorer light so we do not so much say something it isn't true: we omit that which  shows our culpability and responsibility for what really transpired.

If there is a hierarchy when it comes to this it is the outright lie, the very thing that had no basis in reality at all that takes pole position.

We use it to place ourselves where we were not, to claim credit for things we did not do, to transfer the blame from us to others when we have done wrong and remove ourselves from situations where we had a responsibility but chose not to exercise it.

I am - and my Caregiver amongst others expects me to -  tell the whole truth at all times and whenever I'm not there's no question of not being punished because of its seriousness.

Summer LG Camp extras

My main blog entry  Summer LG Camp 2016 covers the major account of my six days  including Summer 2016 LG Camp  that I attended such as activities that I was involved in and so on but this is more the reflections on the experience as I experienced it emotionally.
As an adult little girl who is more on the Middle side for me this whole thing is rather like the Caregiver/little side of things in that it is a space to allow the child-like me out to play and interact as if I was an actual child at a emotional age appropriate level for me, the one impacted significantly by my developmental/learning disabilities that in so many ways I function ordinarary and with no choice at that level.
It's hardly age-play, I mean I didn't choose it, it just the hand I was given and it's a matter of learning to make the most of the only life I have.
I have been interested as much as I'm more around upper UK juniors and first year senior side about things more associated with younger children as for example I've always been drive to spin or rattle things such as whizzing tape reels around or enjoying the sound of winding a cassette back with a pencil or impulsively leaping to a rattle.
While I was away a "Baby Gym" with a pretty patterned mat and mobiles that made noises had been set out and I though, "Right, it's a quiet area" and decided to have a bit of a play with it.
It only took a few minutes and I sensed myself shifting to a younger more tactile headspace playing with it so while I may not identify with AB, some things from it could be in my little space needs that benefit from being met.
The other large side to this that for this whole period I am in a setting where my behaviour and attitudes are under the gaze of adults with authority over me and where I know I will be taken to one side and spanked without exception for any breaches of what I know isn't acceptable.
I do tend to ignore no's blanking them out or get into oppositional behaviour because my emotional side is running at a child's and not even necessary a maturing teen level and spanking is part of the way I'm being managed to put a stop to this to help me mature within my limitations in the way I generally wasn't before.
In that way I'm in the middle/little headspace where Authority has the final say and I am slowly learning, changing my behaviour so much so that I didn't need a spanking just doing what I am expected or am told to do with no back chat.
Connected with that is that they are challenging my low expectations of not just what I can do but of what it is I am to be expected to do from now on to help me grow up a little, taken on a bit more personal responsibility and contribute more to.
In this way they're putting me through growing pains and strict discipline to move me from where I had been parked.
Some of this showed for example in the Games morning where in the past I'd of not taken part in things that I both find difficult with my physical as well as developmental/learning disabilities such as being rubbish at archery, not understanding instructions well, poor co-ordination and lack of strength I'd of gone down the route of oppositional behaviour but I was informed I was to bring my games kit, put it on and be in a team regardless.
In other words I was to adopt a more grown up mature approach which would be overseen to help me with them ensuring I co-operated.
I am so thankful as hard going doing this is, they're putting me through it because I need help to change and be the best I can, not the least I can get away with.

I Guess I'm Different Part II

Well last weeks bit of a post created some interest amongst those that ready my comments at various forums and art based sites where I am publishing some short back to the past regressive stories.

One of things across this blog I've been talking about is what is me.
I'd normally hesitate to use a term like define because it seems to me define often excludes those things I may share with people for saying how I'm not the same as when to me at least what you are includes both.
It's also the case that self realization can lead at the very least to a reframing of what that definition may include if not a wholesale change.
Change is constant but the biggest constant in all of this for me the lack of of an adult sense of self and of place in the presence of others who are adults by age; My relationship to you is defined by me looking toward you for guidance and authority because you are the adult I am not and cannot be.
The answer to the question what is my sense of place is simple: I am a girl and much less a woman.
By the standards of most I'm not 'normal' in that way not least for the role my developmental disabilities play in this that means for me it's not 'age play' so much as 'emotional and developmental age is'. It's the not normalness of me that actually is my strength and what is wonderful about me.
The thing is then we must be honest about these needs and work through ways of meeting them so I'm emotional and developmental age treated approximately for the girl I am for me to make the most of myself and contribute to society rather than ignoring the elephant in the room.

I guess I'm different

This is an extra bit to the World of Joanne_chan entry of July 4th 2016 Summer Day Out
If part of the reason for being away for a day was to avoid the stress and life sucking nature of post Brexit political fall out which had left me feeling really quite flat and a bit edgy there were others things too.
One is it provide me an opportunity to see how what I have learnt  since the rule book with me was changed with having people such as my caregiver providing a lot of support, teaching coping mechanisms to deal with stressful situations, understanding more of how my behaviour impacts on others and how spanking me is leading to changed attitudes since that came back into my life.
Without a shadow of a doubt  being on the streets on a Saturday using stores  is a one of the most stressful things for me most of which are related to things such as my poor co-ordination which shows in weaving between crowds, my dyslexia when it comes to reading and finding items in space, my audio processing disorders making out what is said especially with background noises.
Also my learning/developmental disabilities come in  such as not understanding what it is that I'm being told, what it means, feeling lost 'freezing over' at the counter requiring to be prompted and treated more like a child generally.
I am still having some freezing with two assistants asking if I was okay but with their help we got through this. I also felt able enough to deal with questions and attempts to sell me other things by turning them down but politely rather than either just going along with it cos I so wanted to leave the store signing anything or getting very  cross with them.
I found some people who could help me with crossing the road on my own without pelican crossings because I have poor road sense and even with them I get scared in case cars don't stop.
I'm also not good with directions, getting lost easily.
You see I am different. I am a child-like adult who needs to be treated more that way given support to be be as independent I can and still subject to child-like rules and structures.
When you do that, I have a better life than if you pretended I was 'normal' as if I had no more needs than any regular adult.

Alternative presentations

Much of things that cover what passes as little or middles presentation is routed within my main occupation, adult school girl, so tends to based very much being that school girl and obviously her uniform.
It can include what you might call free or play time attire, stuff that's okay for playing, especially out of doors where things may get stained or damp which I have touched on before.

More indoors obviously  but co-ordinates like this are things that do appeal to me  even if I may need a nudge from daddy to get me in them.

I do like bows but aren't really big on frills  so these thigh high stockings  and panties with a understated bow on would work.

Truthfully one issue from the past with me was seeing and wearing maids dresses not out of desire for humiliation but more from wanting to be more the gurl who wishes to be of service and as a sissy has no issues with doing so.

Daddy's girl

Just been getting things ready to visit a adult who I'll stay with for two and a bit days which involves finding my travel stuff like my washbag and my clothes which are generally what they wish me to be in when in their company as the 'child' they look after.

 Having done quite a bit of that I'm just lying across the bed relaxing a bit before I eat and thinking about about this life of mine .
It's quite a bit different than it was several years back because in so many ways I'm  back to where I was as a competent child whose special needs are being dealt with by Daddy, who is in touch with me across each day making sure I'm alright, not feeling troubled because he cares enough to check.
My daddy talks with me most nights before sleep about the day so I have a proper bedtime routine and when he judges I am feeling tired he makes sends me to bed straight away with  with bedtimes kisses.
I have this emotional intimacy with him as his girl who he cares for in way I've never had  before trusting him to help me make decisions  and equally I show my love for him by taking an interest in his life, health and work.
I love my daddy so much I want to obey him as daddy's girl subject to his loving correction.
The one thing I know for sure is I am truly fortunate to have daddy that loves and protects me as his own.

Lessons from the class room for Jo.

I've  written a bit about this Weekends Studying on the main blog which also has the other entries around the start of it from the beginning of this year as it is an important part of what this year is about for me.
It is about two interlinked things: One is dealing with my actual real life weaknesses in English, particularly written and especially Math which stem from by disabilities not least dyslexia and brain damage some of which was caused directly by a playground fall which  caused my head to hit the Asphalt surface head on which left me drifting in and out of consciousness for a good number of hours.
The second is the extent to which all the above while being  a very ready impediment  to learning was affected by attitudes toward coping with my disabilities and even the extent I was to even attempt to do the very things ever other child of my age at that time was expected to do.
Some of those attitudes amounted to authorized not trying  as I wasn't expected to be capable of them so it was felt this didn't matter which of course it did as most employers and many educational institutions require good grades not least because the knowledge behind them is necessary in an advanced economy.
But in many was it went even beyond that to one of just not bothering to try anything new because a 'they' somehow would solve them problem of what to do when it comes to caring for me and having a sense of purpose.
The fact this studying has involved some rather old fashioned ideas  such as being structured (but taking into account my real needs), being expected to work hard, being given the kind of scolding prevalent then and not least being spanked for my attitude toward that when as it was at the start was laid bare in just the same some schools back then would given me regardless of my disabilities.
My disabilities don't justify not trying, in many ways it's more important for me to try than perhaps most because my need to be able to do things is greater and in the pride I feel toward doing well so far, that is the bigger thing here.
To help me grow I need to be stretched, nurtured and disciplined as part of one whole called caring for Jo.

Roadmaps?

It's kind of funny how it is you find the inspiration you need  when and where you may least expect it such as this drawing by TheLatestKate on Tumblr.

Tumblr is a funny place in that all manner of things can be found on there, sometimes original texts or as in this instance art amongst a vast forest of straight reblogging of everyone elses so sometimes you see the same thing several times over not helped by encourage people to reblog things that may not even be their own just because someone got there first.

But actually, to get back the post itself,  when I first started this blog and got on a few sites sites way back when, truly I had no real idea of where everything would lead, never mind the series of connections and roundabouts I'd go through tryin' to figure it what was I was and what it was I wanted and needed.

Some of directions like one I wrote about April last where I found I I always had sissy traits even though I control the exact form that may come out as as really gender re-assignement does nothing for my own sense of gender identity - I don't see myself as a female trapped in a male body.

Sometimes I with my disabilities actually lacked the language to articulate and even look for what it was I was really looking for  even if in some respects it had been staring me in the face from when I first realized on the onset of my teens that actually I didn't feel that,had none of the 'push toward establishing an adolescent self' cos actually developmentally I was and remain very much the child.

 
What I did want was a kind of new forever parent type figure I could relate to as that child, who was going to be the adult I'd relate to AS that child being cared for and where necessary chastised as that child because those were and are my actual needs.

In other words what I was wanting in my life was Caregiver for the middle with a little side me not a plain vanilla type relationship nor one just centred on  full on BDSM.

I have needs

I like to have my hair patted, I like to be hugged and gently stroked when I am feeling in need of your affection and reassurance by my Caregiver and others because it is a need I have, to be loved and feel loved.
I have the right to have my needs met.

On restoration

Restoration

Restoring the balance both at home with my parents and with other adults trying to get so a kind of natural order is there is very much what the last fifteen or so months of my life has been about, been given a proper place in those relationships, subject to their adult authority at all times.
When I look back at how things were at the start of this I can see how unsatisfactory the way I interaction at home and with other adults were, doing pretty much what I pleased no matter how they may of felt about or been effected by it.
I had a okay relationship with Mom and poor one with Dad and didn't really feel bonded to other adults at all so things did not run anything like smoothly for a lot of the time.
It wasn't that I was necessarily super obnoxious but I could not truthfully say I was exactly well behaved either having little sense of boundaries and parental and other adult guidance in my life.
It felt that I'd been been left without any guidance but being expected to know what to do when in fact I had no idea about how to behave.
That was when during Christmas 2014 when the external guidance started and as time went by other people followed through with everything changed although it took time.
This was when there now was a set of House Rules and similar rules for other adults brought into my life with very real consequences for any breach of those rule.
These included  being scolded, having my knickers taken down to be spanked or caned without fail and having to carry out any restitution straightaway.

Of course I didn’t become perfect overnight, but gradually, week by week, the new discipline code began to turn my behaviour and attitude around and as the adults recast as disciplinarians began to feel this wonderful sense of positive empowerment to act because they cared. Every time they took me over their lap I felt that at last I was receiving a way of providing me with the kind of positive guidance that I needed. I felt that they were giving me exactly what I needed, at exactly the right time in my life and I could see that I was absolutely thriving on this old-fashioned form of discipline.

It wasn't that it was all discipline, because it did include face to face discussions about my behaviour and conduct and what my many limitations being allowed for, I could and should be expected to do better together with rewards so it was recognized when I did really well to help me form a sense, a belief, in my ability to do the right thing .

This restoration  went hand in hand with having me dress more as that adult child often in her uniform as a learned to accept and co-operate with adult authority  I resembled their child subject to their adult authority with that uniform signifying my acceptance  of their rules and the spanking that I subject to in it.

Spanking I would say in my experience is an excellent form of discipline for girls who like me are over 18 and live at home or with adults to help learn how to conduct ourselves and adopt good personal habits

The Tudors

I had a fairly wide ranging education even though I missed chunks and arguably wasn't properly taught but I did study History to the equivalent of English A level standard and a chunk of that was about the Tudors in England and Wales.
We didn't go too much into education back then, although it was very much something the really well to do boys had back then and as can be seen from this marvellous illustration  a boy in a state of disgrace regarding his conduct would be birched in front of his peers.
It also was a period of judicial Corporal as well as Capital punishment if you were caught begging or stealing.

Middle bedrooms

A big chunk of the other blog is more around the life of a Middle while this looks at the other aspects of being a middle with a littleside but given the connectedness a post around it is justified.
The bedroom of a Middle I feel should be as close to that of a Tween or younger teen as possible not necessarily tradition in it's furnishings but true to original intent of being her place of rest and sleep, away from the buzz of daytime.
It should be very much an expression of her girlish innocence with cute simple bedding with matching curtains and lightshades with just what she needs to get her beauty sleep in and nothing more being free from techo attractions calling her as she lies in bed.
There will be shelving for her plushies, teddies and dollies that are not in her bed or positioned on her chair as well as her books with a small rack for current comics that she reads by herself with a small angle right.
One thing there will not be is a place for her cellphone or netbook to be resting because you will have her hand them over to you as her Caregiver before she goes to bed and be given then once she is up because you are responsible for her as her privilege.
You may restrict other technology such as audio or tv stuff  preferring her to share with others and view with you to help keep a close shared bond alive rather than have retreat to a inner world avoiding conversation.
There will be a wardrobe with enough space to hang her clothes including her uniform properly on hangers with space for shoes and slippers and draws for her underwear in addition to the cute nightdresses and pj's you'll put her in like the Middle with little side she is.
The overall feel will be light and airy with lots of space to twirl around in and walk along with ease across the whole room.
You will have rules about keep it tidy being prepared to work with her but you will spank her bottom firmly in the room when she fails too without good reason so she learns the importance in doing this and following the rules.

Looking back at the last year

As a few entries touched on, I went from a situation in my late teens with very little effective discipline of any kind to the removal of anything short of being made to leave home without having the very attitudes corrected and by late 2014 things were in a mess.

More by chance than anything discussions at various places lead to me finding a Caregiver who accepted and was prepared to work with adult middle me who made it plain they wanted me in school uniform and they were going to discipline me as that schoolgirl.

 They made it a hard rule that My knickers were to come right down for all punishment spankings so my bared bottom was going to pay the price from now on for all infractions, looked at my problems  and we agreed a set of rules to help me change.

And not just a  slipper but a hairbrush, leather and wooden paddles too as I increasingly learned to present my bottom for correction as just an everyday part of my life.

 
It wasn’t long before I felt so at ease with it that talking to other trusted adults who knew me and my problems well, that they took on a disciplinarian role to a middle who they also knew as one who is in school uniform, agreeing to spank me whenever I’m with them.

For good measure measure many of little/middle friends know about this, do know when I’ve been in trouble and are supportive because they know I can be more mature and considerate if I want to be.

It was through the discussions through them that quite against the odds caning something I only had at school came back as an option in more severe infractions with a variety of different canes being available to use when extinguishing a behavior or attitude was required.

Given it worked then I can't see it failing to keep my behaviour and attitudes in decent limits. 

Other things such as the Tawse and Martinet are agreed options too.

It was a long, painful process with some elements such as having more trusted Adults re-enforcing my Caregiver by disciplining me too not even in the original plan but it has started to work.

 
Who knew this was just what I so badly needed from Adult Authority figures who cared enough to step in and prevent me from falling while also working with guidance and support on changing me so I never get to that point again.

Please support spanking me. You know it  makes sense.