Onward bound

"I wonder what this is all about?" I hear you cry especially as we know me and trains have a lot bad memories and you generally won't see many pictures of them here although obviously I do travel sometimes more times than others .

There are times when you do seem to see or act in ways others don't which can be a good thing for seeing what may adrift with other peoples ideas and sometimes not when they appear to think you're utterly weird, struggling to keep up with the connections you make that seemingly they don't.

Yet to you, it's a complete mirror image, their take makes no sense and just where the heck did they get that from?

Thing is really we're all individuals with our own ideas so really we're better off exploring each others traits and seeing what we can learn from each other.

We have yet more to say

Hello there peoples we'd like to say a few things this today after making our appearance several years ago when things were different.

 Maisie talking here about the strange creature that lives here too called The Grump.

The grump has that name as it walks about with a loud thud, thud, thud  along the carpets and up the stairs at all hours of the day with really bizarre stories of dreamscapes or tales og things that woked him up.

Trouble is that wakes up everybody else.

Millie Bear here, He also has these odd ideas like he's dead untidy, never cleaning as he does things leaving bits of food here, bits of furry stuff there, testing strips and humongous piles of assorted letters and magazines complaining about giving the house a quick clean every week or possibly once.

It mutters if the slightest comic of owner is left out and yet she spends her time literally on her knees scrubbing the carpet, struggling to get back up removing mud and other thigs he's trod into the carpet

I know she saw this as drawn by TheLatestKate on Tumblr the other day and really that's the thing she know expected to do like don't  give up, don't think cos she struggles with her difficulties she can't try to do thing, putting up  with that Grump figure and just give things the best shot she can.
Do try to help her.

Regards Simba, Maisie and Millie

May study weekend

I don't actually know where to put myself today as the weekends events have left me feeling very different about me (and some of this will go elsewhere), what I can do and really about my life so far in.

As well all know, the one big difference this year with the exception of days when I am truly too unwell to work or away on meets such as Camp, my weekends  are taken up with something deliberately challenging.

Two days of concentrated study where I pretty much have to work on just that, sat at a desk, in uniform with no distractions working from the study guides with just fixed recess periods with no dawdling, back chat or refusing to start being accepted.

Really.

This weekend has seen me work on my English looking at how people who write stories try to draw you into the character, getting you to think you were involved and learning how to compare and contrast different texts on the same subject by style, language, use of humour and summarize any differences effectively.

I had set questions to answer on it and I managed 90%.

Concentration is my main thing, I'm awful at it, often leap frogging from task to task often more around what I find interesting rather than what needs to be done and thinking about how  might get the thing finished.

Some days tend to be better compared to others but that's one of my problems apart from just forgetting tons and tons of things within minutes of been told that.

Perhaps getting back to more of this straightaway rather than leaving it a day or so and plenty of practise at making my own strategies for getting stuff done would help a lot more?

Creating little headspace

I'm a little late starting this entry cos I've been Pawley over the last few days but I had noticed a few people talking about Headspace which I know I touched on in late February.
I think the first thing I will say is this space is very much as you, yourself make it and you do need bring something to being in it even if you may be fortunate to have either a Caregiver do things with you or you go to any number of littles activities where organizers do lay on activities because you're the one  'doing' them to getting into that sense of being more child-like.

Because anyone for a host of reasons isn't able  - and I do understand - to get out either as much as they like or at all due to lack or disabilities perhaps doesn't mean you are unable to  but you'll need to create them where you are.

The second thing is, to do this we need to remove as much 'groan up' mental background noise as we can, not just technology (sometimes  super intrusive) but also anything that distract us from playing in the way as kids we did.

If you can add a few touches like cute 'throws' (aka Covers) over furniture, I'd suggest bringing out the one thing you loved from your childhood first and putting it in your room unless you're fortunate to have a already set up play space.

It may be a favourite plushie, a teddy or doll you hugged, talked to and created adventures with. I can't speak for you but you may of played at being a Vet, a Nurse or an Astronaut with them but we're going back in time and buried away are just the memories you need to get back to where you were.

Some people like something a little less imagination centred but fun nonetheless such as watching a Disney movie or cartoon series that they find takes them back.

The other approach may appeal to those of us who like difficulties aside to do art to draw, colour or paint but allowing our 'inner child' to tell us and in way do the activity that relates to their interest and age range which is something personally I feel matters for your own well-being.

Some find littles role playing games and sites helpful in getting into that 'role' opening up your inner childs thoughts and expressing them with others.

The important thing here is you do create that space to go back, enjoying the experience.

A weekend away

I'm just starting on writing this, an account of sorts of how this last weekend went recovering from the excitement as well as the heat of the last few weeks

For me, time spent in little/middle headspace is time well spent simply for being me with this weekends adventure beginning with catching  the local taxi to our principal rail station.

That made sense as I had some time to kill as the bus and trains don't quite tie in so well so I though I might as well check the destination boards, confirm which platform the train is due in and get there.

My train came in five minutes late which London Northwestern don't usually but as this was the result of a Manchester train being late after a super rapid platform change to manage with my case.

Having arrived I changed into my grey pinafore dress and had a mini code and chips as it was a little late for cooking from a quality local fish and chip shop which was scrumptious.

Sunday was the day of the Ikklespace picnic as organized by the great fantastic Sammy which generally involves a lot of bring various food  such as sandwiches, pies, cake and sausage rolls together with soft drinks to a well known view in South East England to share between ourselves and teddy bears.

We flew colourful kites competing with some massive model airplanes or venue users had, ran around blowing bubbles the size of clouds on the thermals, something I just loved, building massive plushie piles sometimes over people plus one person played an acoustic guitar.

The weather was mild with a mixture of sunshine and odd cloud which meant some did get an ice cream

Just after five as people were for departing we made our way back, dropping of one of our party at their flat before heading back to South Staffordshire where we had a sausage roll and cup of tie before bed.

I was up about a quarter of eight Monday morning to catch the nine fifty-three train to my local rail station which was delayed due to incidents by a half hour before taking a taxi back home for around eleven forty in the morning.

Think Pink!

Sometimes  you come back with things you didn't expect when you see people.

Unfortunately seeing people wasn't possible this year with being very poorly although up to the last minute when I realized a firm decision was needed I had everything arranged and had spent a small fortune on things  to share with others.

Way back in late June a few years back I did get a dark blue gingham school summer dress that I quite liked not least for how Junior it made me feel, which as far as I'm concerned is quite a good  thing and I had been thinking about something in a more classic pink.

Having a few things come Sunday reminded this one with two pleats at the front I like - I'm big on pleats - that caught my eye from a friend which having put it against me, seemed to be just perfect so I paid her for it in notes of the Bank of Purrland.

Disability and getting on

How different people handle changed especially life changing conditions or disabilities has always interested me not least for possessing several and having known a good number of people in a variety of situations who have too.

 

It's often interesting to see how people who on the face of may have similar conditions have made of their lives, how they may differ and how others are quite different although I'd like to stress from the get go I don't feel a 'my disability is worse or better than yours' take is really helpful not least for only you alone know how that affects your life or 'mine is more or less “real” than yours either for the same reason.

 

This being said it is my personal conviction how much you are able to make of your life even though you have disabilities depends very much on not only what opportunities may be available to you (and certainly there can be a lack of them that does our society no great favours) and what our own attitudes toward making the most of our lives can be when they are.

 

This can be more difficult when it comes to dealing with things such as social anxiety which as someone does find things like meeting people or using the telephone difficult I readily understand but unless we are prepared to explore how we may get more confident or better able to communicate, then our opportunities are limited.

 

I think it's that which sometimes is the harder thing because on top everything there is insecurity and a blanket feeling that you are not being understood.

 

There is though I feel a difference between an understanding that says “I am prepared to try to improve on the things I struggle with however hard that might be” and one that simply isn't prepared to even explore what options may be available even if they may not be a “total cure” because you may be limiting yourself from the experiences and opportunities that would enrich your life. You can't advance by staying still.

 

It's hardly fair on the face of it but those of us who have disabilities who in some way or other wish to make the most of our lives in mainstream society need to do as much as can for ourselves to find ways of maximizing it, perhaps in some respects even more than those who don't face the same challenges. 

 

Things just don't come easy to us although I'd also add trying to compensate by excusing other things like 'fitting in' and following the accepted social conventions and rules as everyone else can of itself set you back simply because we have to 'hold our own' and isn't fair to everyone else even though I do recognize that's something I have been guilty of in the past.

Christmas paws edition

*** HAPPY CHRISTMAS FOLKS *** 

At this time of year it's usual for me to take a break from blogging, commenting on various websites not least Tumblr simply because there's that much at the face to face so-called real life level to be getting on with so that has really  to take priority in the build up to Christmas Day and  shortly afterward.

This year will be no different so I thought I'd let you know I'll be off for a period.
(((Hugs)))

Gender cultural comformity

After an interesting week where one person at a site said they found my blog which is funny cos it is listed there and frankly anyone could google it, there was something that came into mind that I did feel about talking about.
Gender cultural norms.

I saw this a while back and personally I just love what it is about.
In the first instance do we know the gender of the dress wearer? Personally I couldn't careless as much as I care about your ability too be the gender you are.

It may be  someone born male  or maybe  a female who doesn't see why she should have to remove every single naturally growing hair from her leg nor pluck her eyebrows thin in the way groups of girls would gather in the dorms trying to do it for each other one having shown the others how.

Just why should anyone who identifies as female have to wear make up and lipstick or face being either ridiculed or be called out on their gender identity?

Can we not appreciate how they dress and what as people they are like-their inner beauty if you will?

If I want to wear a shorter skirt or a short sleeved dress especially this time of year then frankly as those who know me will know I shall without getting hung up on if there's a stray hair here or there as having a skin condition lots of shaving may remove hairs but does nothing for where patches where my eczema  is.

If as I do, I like to wear shorts like on Monday just going for a stroll where they may be overgrown hedgerows and that then why should that be regarded by some as just 'ikky boy' when as a female you can because that's you?

It's not what you wear so much as what you bring to them as the wearer.

Reflections

 

This week I'm actually away for a few days at LG Camp which is a major improvement on things as last year we only just got away in early February and then everything stopped pretty much with a load of rapid rule changes that give little time to adjust which doesn't help if you're not so good at that that and it doesn't take much for you to start to become very very anxious over everything.

It hasn't helped not being with people who can spank me because it really does help in dealing with poor responses not that other things such as positive reinforcement, modelling appropriate behaviours and just listening don't help, they doIt's just I often go for the least good response and it isn't hat it's merely bad for me, it's bad for others around me too.

This week will me if I'm drifting that way at least for the first time since the pandemic I can be verbally chastised and caned when I do so perhaps we'd better pray for a sore bottom for me this week when that happens so I change my reactions.

Doing things Jo style

The same but different was part heading of an entry on the other blog that was a necessary examination of some topics before it could (and did) move on in an integrated way and in some ways this year was like that.

The first thing to say is there are some who like to push their ideas on you when it comes to how you present not just in terms of dress but what you do like I don't see the point in looking like and saying 'you feel like one' only to have very groan up discussions of the sort you might have in workplaces.

I decided to put my feelings pretty much on the line where it comes to the variety of forms of presenting as more as a Little/Middle simply because as I see it we all do it differently and so do actual little or middle girls.

While it's not uncommon for girls to wear shorts or trousers to school however much traditionalists may not so keen on it as I saw earlier on in the week where one girl of about ten living on our road wore grey long trousers to school and still be the same girl who may put a dress on whenever she feels like it. 

It's not one or the other necessarily so If I'm hiking say while away I may 'borrow' a pair of boys school shorts and wear them with my gym knickers and socks with bows on as it's more practical. 

Otherwise I'm happy to be put into school skirts and dresses by those who look after me and wear a smart blue blazer looking very smart.

For all that you see I'm still me, Jo, and I don't like pigeon holes.

Being little Wednesday

Hi it's the what's Jo gonna post Wednesday here edition after a few concerns about an Aunt of mine who had Covid and having quite a laugh in littles chat on Tuesday.

 First off of the bat, Dad got a build a bear jacket for a bear and gave me the hanger expressly to put on the my door handle which kinda signifies I'm a little.

The other is I actually love being at the shops and helping out in the kitchen with mommy even if I have tomboyish streaks as its fun to make food and it's pretty important to know how to fix your own if you don't want to living off tv dinners and the like which aren't that healthy for you.

Learning what is what, dates on foodstuffs and what you can put together is pretty important so why is rocket science seen as more important than domestic science?  Don't those people eat???

Why not tie that in making that a wear your pinafore dress time to help bring out the more feminine side of me while we're at it?

Because the kitchen has been seen as the province of generations of women doesn't mean men shouldn't help out stacking the dish washer and that boys ought to help out too even though naturally we're eager to do what our mommies do and they need to show us "the ropes" so we can look after ourselves and any partners we may have

I also found out the name for the problem I have around hearing and being understood - it is apparently Auditory Processing Disorder - and it does tie in with developmental dyslexia which why it may of been overlooked when I was younger.

Being 'there'

Sometimes you just might wonder why things happened the way they did.

That was one thought I was left with just listening to various people as they talked about their lives and experiences in completely random way with no real script or anything not that I usually do much of that and today I'm reflecting on something happened a few years ago.

I mean the only time I really talked much would of been the first week at my boarding school where Miss Howes asked me to speak about myself to the class, most of which had known each other for at least several months probably because of believing my family life was just so embarrassing with no real "small talk" and in part cos I felt much younger than most of the class.

It was kind of odd to feel able to share something that was actually about rather than of me and that was I had done something for the first time albeit with supervision.

I had managed to make cakes.

Truthfully the way things were at home, you might as well of put up "Keep Out" signs on the kitchen cos that was off limits when it came do doing anything at all like fixing a hot drink, a sandwich or whatever.

I'm not really sure how much it was fear of risks and how my perhaps of been subconsciously dealing with guilt by providing everything but what people might call 'life-skills'  where not things I knew as much as anything else no one had ever really taught me them. They just assumed I'd pick it up and duly noted "Does not".

Equally I was never expected to help out making meals even if you'd though for one thing I rather feel more a part of a family unit and actually it would help me which was  part of the reason why it the person I was staying with had me in the kitchen learning and actually doing with supervision and direct hands on assistance at times preparing vegetables for a cottage pie, sealing the minced meat and such like.

One of things they are helping with is learning to contribute directly and understand what sorts of things society expects you to when you're with people so I can co-operate better whereas to a large extent disengaging had been my norm.

That meal was the more tastier for having made a substantial contribution to its creation by labouring even with my limitations. 

In so  many ways then, that weekend was quite a important one for and the better for being shared with friends.

What is a Girl?

I noticed more by accident the other week, something I talked about several years back was being discussed at a site with links back here so thought I'd write something about about it here a few years on.

Being a girl is...being how her feels in you, as it comes out of your own feelings as expressed by you in dress, interests and play.

In so far as being an adult little girl goes, it doesn't matter if you're in a relationship or not, if you have a sexual side in your life or the extent to which you are able to let this side of your life out at home or around your local area.

Being either transgendered or gender fluid/variant and of any and no sexuality does not make a  difference  to being and your ability to let the adult little girl you feel out so long as ...you feel Her in you.

There is no one model you have to confirm to.

You may prefer to dress more like a younger child or 'Baby' , a young child which may be dresses, dungerees or shorts or more Middlish looking Tween or young teen.

You might do more party or school type attire if that's you (I like sitting behind a desk in school attire doing exercises) depending on circumstances such as the ability to spend time with a few others.

You may have a Caregiver in your life. 

It really doesn't matter as little girl you is...You.

Some people do find their younger side may have a different gender presentation to their "Big" which may seem odd (and kinda threw me a few years back to be honest) but actually it's okay.

If that's you then please come presenting as that  Little Girl for the period - a little consistency during play helps - bring something with you and you know we'll share teddies, dollies and play even if your "Big" presents as male.

Those of us who aren't super frilly won't kill you if your presentation  goes out that way.
The only thing we aren't so keen on is people who take being a female, especially a little girl and project an overriding sexual side to it (We appreciate Adults often have a sexual side but that stay's in the bedroom and never at little girl playtime!).

It was my experiences elsewhere with "sissies" who tended to push a very full on sexual side linking femininity with subservience, ritual humiliation, who also by clearly linking being a girl as an insult, insulted our sense of being,  co-opting part of our identity for that whole "humiliated as a girl" thing rather than them being a girl if frankly they rather liked it even in short doses or enjoying their maleness if that was them, that troubled me.

War is over!

There are differences between in so-called 'real life' and online life when it comes to communities around certain topics and lifestyles where sometimes different takes and different understandings of terms do apply that have lead to complications.
The world of Age Regression is one where this is very common place although in a matter of  a few days this have started to change with less polarized views being more accepted and more peacefully co-existence pursued.
Although there were few websites that covered sometimes from a submissive angle this, most of the activity was sites such as Tumblr and much of the activities connected with regression such as colouring, more child-like play and the like tended to talked of in more Caregiver/little or DD/lg groups because they were the only groups that did accept it at that time although there was much around the separate and kink connected Age Play scene.
What lead to the creation of specifically Age Regression communities was the increase in youngsters typically 14 through 18 who were following Caregiver/little Tumblrs for the age regression content and the issues between contact with kink and minors.
The spate between communities was more that some of us split from Cg/l but used some terms such as littlespace and littles  while others fearing this may put minors at risk of inappropriate contact made their own who then started saying those that didn't condoned kink and in effect kept a rigid division up even though what was posted  and what we all did was essentially the same.
Unfortunately this did spill over into name calling and the like being on a bad day worse than many a school playground.
Different groups had different name that sometimes on one side split again  as one wanted to more 'purist' than the other.
Much of this after a period where the more purist side lost ground as increasingly more questioned the refusal to allow reblogging of minor friendly non sexual entirely sfw age regression content from the other while more specialized activity groups for say stimming or play changed allegiances.
Last week after a vote, the larger current group who had gone their way, the Kidhearts decided to allow their members to reblog, message and join groups by the remainder of us so long as we respect the individual members feels about such interaction which people usually have on a separate page on their tumblr.
That is so much more how we'd deal with differences within the world of Adult Littles face to face and I am glad we have a workable system within the online communities now  to allow each other to work together while respecting differences.

Headspace in littleworld

This week while nursing a bad foot I've been thinking a bit more about Headspace.

What is Headspace?

Headspace to me means the vantage point my mind looks upon everything around of it and relates to it in real time, being a felt, experienced and physical thing I interact with that ties in your sense of you in time and space.

People can have differing senses of head space not least of you're a Middle or Little because you may have, depending on your own development a more adult sense of what you do and how you'd see your role as well as a younger one where in effect you go back to those things and ways of looking at life that you may recall from your childhood.

The way people may move from one to another depends on the individual and their circumstances such as you may have a triggering thing such as a particularly activity that from the second you start to interact with it, you subconsciously move to that side of you.

For example I used to find being in schools often brought out the more Junior side of me so much so if I was left their for long enough on my own I'd 'drop' into being that child or playing with say dolls just does.

It may be also that how you are attired does and with me putting on my school clothes like what I'm wearing right now typing this 'throws the switch'.

I think one thing a good number of us find useful is where we can meet up because it enables us to interactive not just with our own person sense of being a Middle or Little in such a headspace but also with others as if we were over at other folks houses playing which I think is something many of us did as children and it's that kind of feeling we're recreating.

When looking at recreating there is a question to be asked about the extent to which it is or can be complete replication simply because the nature being a child and the 'play' has itself changed over the decades.

The modern child has electronic play devices and quite often access to say a Tablet Computer which may be used to play games on or join sites like Club Penguin or use to write or draw things on. A computer may be part of your Little/Middle headspace.

How much of that we may do when we're together is something that we'll need to work through in the same way thoughtful parents do with their own children and for similar reasons because it is easy-too easy perhaps-to have a situation where we're all huddled together but staring into our own screens so while individually we're having fun the one thing we aren't doing is interacting with each other. That is a genuine concern.

The other area with that and the all pervasive Smartphone is handling Adult related things such as any requirements an individual may have to check emails and the like from 'work' which whatever your personal thoughts on the rights and wrongs of  (and I think it has for some gotten too intrusive in folks free time) such things are part of their working conditions they are expected to comply with when outside work such as at such meets.

I feel it needs to be done in way that doesn't disturb the Middle/Little space of other people attending which may involve say the use of your own private space or a designated area and certainly the associated electrical accessories like chargers need to out of peoples way when sitting or walking about.

For some of us, though this isn't necessarily the biggest threat to that very headspace at all and while I won't speak for everybody one reason I do like being in that Middle/Little space is to be free from adult level intrusions not least those I have functional difficulties with.

When we were younger the Grown Ups, knew it mattered that while the Big World went on around us, it was wrong for that to dominate Our World so some conversations and topics were 'not for young ones ears' because playing talking through our thoughts and ideas mattered more for us.

That's why it does matter to some of us the sense of leaving things like political, religious and 'adult matters' out of where we are playing, talking or even sleeping and it may be sensible to check with any Little or Middle if they wish to be involved in or ideally leave that to as something in another room people may do.

Personally I have no inclination at all to engage in discussion around those areas simply because it's not part of Middle me that comes to meets apart from experiences in other groups that had allowed it lead to enmities between folk whose reason for being together had had nothing to do with these topics.

To me then to the extent one cannot and would not want to restrict what people can talk about not least that of any groan ups/Caregivers present, there's something to be said for holding back it until after little bed time  or perhaps of having that in just one area of a meet you'd make a deliberate point  of entering.
That way it's managed but those of us who are either playing or just resting have our needs respected so we can enjoy ourselves in our younger headspace freely.
For me  part of that freedom comes from the knowledge that groan ups will step in and discipline me if I am getting out of or at risk of injuring myself so I just act on the me within and not be so concerned about what if it goes all pear shaped that I just sit there terrified to do anything cos I don't feel able to put it right.
To conclude being in it to me is the mark of being a middle or little. It is us.

Pushing away

As I'm typing this it's raining hard  from what I can make out of the gloom just showing through my bedroom window at this hour so whither or not I get outside remains to be seen although after another day where the politicians singularly failed yet again discussing and voting on trade options after the EU but NOT passing an actual withdraw agreement that EU Rules require before they can start negotiating trade outside of it with us.
It's hardly surprising then that a return to the constants in my life has been around in the last month or so across the board as much as because all that "groan up" stuff I've struggled with motivation. 

I have been spending more time out not just walking although I have been doing that too but also sat in the park, just focusing on what's around such as the various flowers that are starting to emerge from the winter, passing insects and birds and trying to keep my mind more more on what I need to do rather than being diverted toward those things that really I have little control over.
I have been doing a bit more reading, reading more of the kinds of stories I loved in original childhood with mysteries and adventures and connected with it spending a bit more time on a website for people who like that kind of fiction, talking with them.
Being in more of a child-like mindset makes for a big difference not least when as it was at the weekend Mother's day over here cos our relationship is still very much child to parent.
As well I have been around SN as tensions lead to toward issues in my emotions and breakdowns when it comes my behaviour that can be talked through as much as with someone like me spanking or at the very least a reminder of its likelihood really helps with it as I easily get into oppositional conduct striking out.
That sites recent changes seem to have reinvigorated it not just in having a software update but also when it comes to interaction with more discussion as well as 'fun' threads.

One mistake and....

I had been pretty good over the last couple of months even with rather more than is desirable on my mind but I slipped up the other day  when really I had no reason to at all.
I usually get my breakfast which isn't too hard of a thing for me to do except in my rush to quickly get it rather than making sure the cereal pack top was wide enough for it come through into my bowl and if needs be widening it just poured it into my bowl and it went everywhere!
I thought I'd picked it up but was dragged back in to see there were mounds still on the floor and moreover I hadn't told anyone who could of helped me remove it all.

That meant going over a lap for a spanking because I was careless and not fully responsible in dealing with what I did.

 However I may attempt to wrap it up and sometimes cover the odd reference to  this from my other blog, one of the things I have learned truthfully I cannot contest that the use of the Hairbrush on me is very effective, improving my general behaviour.
As an implement, one thing certainly has going is it never looks at of place so it can be a 'at hand' means of spanking me no matter who may be around as nothing would suggest anything odd to visitors.

End of Summer review

Last post of August here on the Dorm blog so I'm feeling more reflective  which is what most of this blog will be plus things to do with with this last week.

First off I have been taking stock of my large music and video based collection, pruning it of duplicates and of things like box sets that you might only watch once in seven years and for the reminder of the time they just sit around gathering dust.
While its true compared to their older forms such as VHS tape or Eight track tapes they are slimmer it still doesn't a lot before it gets into sizable piles growing ever skyward! There is a limit to just how many of these things you can keep.
In general outside of the one computer incident, my general behaviour and attitudes have been pretty good although between next doors antics and Grumpy's carrying ones there's been enough provocation to set me off going by my past which shows I am maturing.
If I'm getting to the point of risky attitudes and the like, then I need a spanking to pull me back and I'd sooner that happens.
My BFF has been away and will be returning by the time she reads this as she messaged me Sunday during a gap which is nice but I'm glad in a way that she's not messaging me all the time she's away because it's important for her as it is for me to learn to switch off, spend time with those that care for her while they're away and enjoy the time at the places they go.
Of course I miss her, truthfully I can think few people in my life I ever missed not being around to spend time with because she's taught a lot about life, is a person I care for deeply and has taught me things about myself even but in odd sort of way we have grown up together and are growing up as adult middles living the same sort of life.
That way of life leads me to talk about a blog that's generally not listed at middle/little places that goes back to a period where most of my interaction was at forums very much centred at adults interested in music plus the arts and gender identity topics and that was my spot to talk off forum with them.
As time has gone on the dividing line between where those interests stem from and my middle/little side have not so much blurred as it's obvious there's not a totally separate age regressed side of me, just degrees of so much so what's on it would not of been out of place in anything I'd of discussed between the ages of say 12 and 14 so in many ways it's  more a Middles blog.
That's why that blog, daytime office girl crisis has been retitled That Boarding School Girl cos it is in truth her Journal, what I'd of published then and in the same headspace now I do.
It brings to fruition my long cherished aim of the unification of my blogs each with their own focus but from the common middle/little core which know openly acknowledged.

Thoughts from Summer LG Camp Dorm

Sometimes this blog is more in sequence with its parent middles/littles slice of life one and there times when it's not but this is the Dorm side of Summer Littles Camp 2017, the account of my six days away so is best read in conjunction with it.
One of things around the main event of that period is because we just pay for venue as 'self catering' everything that we need we have to organize and to large extent make ourselves unlike say staying a hotel complex which both keeps the price reasonable and gives total exclusive access to the building and very secluded grounds so we can for that period be ourselves with our partners, caregivers and others as littles very openly.
To that end we have a chore list to which everyone including one Joanne has to keep to unless there are truly mitigating circumstances why you cannot do your stint to help ensure everybody pulls their weight, so for example on two occasions I set up for a dinner and one evening meal although the fall I sustained from the Sports Day activity meant I didn't do the other of two allocated evening meal setting ups and set up for breakfast.
In twenty-seventeen then Jo did not just accept someone covering for her one missed chore, thanking them but made up what she did not do with no fuss or prompting.
Equally when as it was getting toward time for our midday meal during the second arts and crafts session, with people drifting away although I was in pain with my aching back, I stopped behind helping the organizer everything up tidy up.

Having been verbally thanked for helping with that being told I was a good girl for being prepared to do this, I was presented with a stick on badge (pictured) for it.
In a similar vein I helped with the unloading, collecting together when we left  and unloading on return of the many things including sports equipment that made Sports Day possible for the person who looked  after me..
My attitudes and behaviour with them was very good  which can be shown by thinks like helping in making our meal on arrival, washing up, satisfactory setting a table when we arrived and I was tired and in discomfort including making the soft drinks for when they returned with our fish and chips.
I only needed a few brisk hand spankings for inattentiveness without good reason over my underwear just to sharpen me up the odd time which is extremely good as attitude and behaviour goes.
The Jo in twenty-seventeen is different from back in twenty-fourteen, that I think is the thing that is most apparent because that what I turned an deaf ear to whilst expecting to be told to help is becoming more the one who offers or even just does things without being asked.
It is because people have cared enough to reset what they expect from me that is within my abilities as painfully obviously limited as they are to much higher standards and to hold firm to them. It also has a lot to do with their preparedness to take me in my very child-like but adult form and spank me without fail when I fell short, letting myself and them down because it has made big improvement  since they started that and I feel more proud what I am becoming because it.