Being a little

There's a very big part of me that remains a soft girl who loves being surrounded by her plushies wearing the sort of clothes and fashions more akin to young girls.
A day with the dress up box is something I'd lap up.

Childhood incidents

 

You really want to know what I did?

Hmm.. Deliberate destruction of a classmates toy at school aged 10 in the school cloak room cos I didn't think he should have it.

Period of 6 months harassing a fellow student at 14 involving threats to fight and knock over him and his wheelchair  and cos he was small, physical weak and I quite liked the power. I only stopped cos I got bored with it. He said nothing, so nothing happened, although others knew all about it.

Stole from school bus assistant. 

 Spending two years doing next to nothing in class and failing subject exams by not revising for good measure. Just told by folks they were disappointed in me so smirked when their backs were turned.

I'm not proud of any of it but there's something that needed to happen back then.

The thing was a Spanking because I evaded many school punishments by intimidation and lying plus home life was very disruptive with the usual preference just to say "We're disappointed" which was simply pathetic given the severity of these incidents.

It failed to prepare me for adulthood and all the responsibilities it brings.

Decluttering Jo

To get past many of my problems we need to declutter everything around me like my bedroom to reduce to just that the bedroom of a girl minus any techno stuff and even say a tv so I have a room where there is just my bed, my girlish clothes and maybe a table to study to focus on.
Distractions are in general a bad problem with me, I could stay up watching tv all night and although my computer is a big tower thing downstairs if it was one of the increasingly popular Laptop Computers, if it was in my room  I seriously doubt if I could leave it alone.

What is a Middle

I am what is commonly called in the wider age-play and related World as Middle with a little side which means in everyday terms I have the sort of Headspace, emotions and thoughts more in common with actual children and for me it's more around 12 ish.
In general terms Littles and Middles notwithstanding what they need to do studying or at work, pursue hobbies and interests that  are routed very much in their own experiences in 'childhood'  coming from their 'Inner Child' often with the same intensity and passion that you'd think it was that' child' playing.
Sometimes you may play, draw or maybe colour by yourself or you may meet with others who share the same sense of being 'forever a child' in that sense be it around peoples own homes or by meeting up at venues which are often discrete as unfortunately sometimes families and employers getting completely the wrong idea either disown you or find some reason to fire you not least in some 'sensitive' posts and that's before we bring in the Tabloid press.
For some it begins and ends with just 'the play' for others it may extend into dressing more like the age of the 'child within' while do so with say dresses that wouldn't be far removed  from that of a young girl at a party or play clothes like dungarees or for some of us school wear (and in the UK at least school wear is very much associated with childhood in the form of formal uniforms).
I have a blog which is around this aspect of being a middle while this is really more centred around my emotions and behaviour, how that taps into parent style oversight and what I see as the need for the spankies of my Junior years to return in this whole age-play little/middles life of mine.