In a number of ways this whole picture sums up what I find is sometimes ignored, that is there may be more than just one of you in on what has plainly caused much upset and you cannot truthfully put the blame down to just one even if a good argument might be made for saying the older child knew better.
In such instances perhaps it is for the best for both of you to be treated in very much the same way from being expected to tell the whole truth, to write an apology and for both of you to receive an appropriate punishment that reflects what you both were a part of.
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