Freaky Friday musings

Friday,eh?

I was a bit late getting up this morning so it was a rush to fix breakfast needing to be out by half past eight which is just typical I guess of what can happen when you go to sleep thinking about something and wake up with the start of migraine that didn't clear until Sunday afternoon.

That was just in time for Lil'Jennies Storytime on Picarto which is good way of relaxing with an hour to reading one or more children or "young adult" reading books read to you.

I did catch up a bit with The Beano and Pheonix comics which I get every week which helps keep my mind away from some of less good bits of the adult world although obviously there's bits of that you can't ignore.

Bits you can't ignore is the whole discourse around presentation which to me rather forgets things like if you were a school girl, you didn't keep your uniform on to half nine or whenever your bedtime was and you may of gone to places like the movies so you had looks for that.

As s teen girl especially you wanted to cultivate an appearance of sophistication, of coolness when you were out so why shouldn't I as this regressed adult school girl wear a skirt like that with tights and smart casual top?

Gurls like me tend to be a bit more dressy even though anything involving lots of buttons, fastens and generally "fussy" isn't get with my badly damaged paws unless you want to spend time out helping me with it when you go to the loo and all that.

All that gets lost in the "all T Gurls", "All sissy should" wear this and this talk you find in some circles totally ignoring your needs and why they're there.

For some of we'll be returning to some sort of studying or other next month which I'm sure we'll be looking forward  toward which kind reminded me of this perennial problem area.

I had been thinking about getting more hands on at one particular site but feel it may not be to the best interests of my emotional well being, not that I wasn't able to do it, quite the opposite actually as I could do it well, but rather it may put me in more triggering situations that have taken me long time to recover from.

I am more feeling that looking after my needs is not only better for me personally - and I do matter - but I can do more of what I feel helps from the sidelines.

Openess

Another Wednesday although this is being worked on over the weekend because family social engagements mean I need to be out on Tuesday rather than the wednesday when I'd get this blog entry done.

The start of the weekend had it's issues involving the Grump which were trying but I spent a bit more time talking on a discord which I find more enjoyable than another discord that just gets into IT and Politics.

The great thing about that place is everybody is open at the outset about the often vexed issues of identity be they about gender, sexuality which we don't go into much here or whatever so what you say about yourself is accepted at the same time that other peoples differences are.

You in turn respect them as they respect you.

I just found some sites in practise just didn't pushing people down those pathways they feel are socially superior or create less issues for them.

The point is: We are US as We Are.

I should feel able to be open on one site to say yes I'm a sissy and actually I've always had a thing for maid costumes - no not lockable sorts as if I needed to be locked into when you know darn well if you left it there, I'd just put it on - but the real thing but this disturbs some peoples picture even if what I'm about doesn't create any issues when we're together playing, being "little".

Not one adult thing there.

And that tension all the time gets to me so ironically I spend more time away from that groups discord only contributing if it's to do with some organized event.

Now I do wonder what at least one person in that group thinks I might of been doing watching a sissy live stream when I spend far more time in a sissy one where contrary to what you might think we talk food, work and hobbies as much as what we love to wear.

To me that's balanced.

Sleep well but do sleep

Yes people, I'm feeling sleepy today and that's pretty much what I'll be doing in a bit.

As a number of you know, I go to bed early at least in part because I get tired easy which is why I disappear from chat just as some of you are like getting going but I broke that particular rule on Sunday as The Grump had lost one of collection of Mobile Phones and this was the one with medical apps and that on it so obviously it mattered to find it.

Unfortunately this whole adventure started around ten o clock at night so not only did it delay me getting to bed where it was found in a bin bag with waste card and paper from his room, the ensuing rants kept going to nearly eleven and really that's too late to really clear from my mind 

So this meant I didn't really get much sleep at all, not least when you wake up, finding yourself lashing about, mind subconsciously  trying to fight what had happened literally so really Monday was a blur so it was a good job he wasn't going anywhere as I was out of spoons,

Blog has changed a bit, this is true when it comes to direction although this weeks post is more "old school" than I usually do, we've had quite a few more people reading this blog so I'll end this entry before I go bed with my teddy with a thought.

Ever thought of doing say a day in the life of your inner child? 

Somedays I often feel like things like doing something like being in a school setting studying apart from my habit of 'playing', running going on my swing for a half hour or more a day and so on.  It wouldn't be just for learning stuff though who knows I might but more for the calm feeling of being in an emotional place you feel comfortable in.

Any thoughts?

Thanks!

This week, so far has been trying not least with the legendary Grumps dark rages writ large that you struggle to escape and the sheer lack of understanding of both how that leaves you when it comes to your emotional welfare and lack of true recognition to what you bring.

Without it things would get very messy and not just physically with things unattended to  either so sometimes this shows on certain forums like FA rather than other places where they think you should just be a "good time gurl".

I'd like to this opportunity to thank everyone for your concern and how they have left me feeling, be they comments in chat and the like.

Balancing little needs and big responsibilities even if the extent given no one else in family does much is a challenge and I suspect there are others in similar situations. 

I'm slowly de-stressing and beginning to think more around how get to where I feel most comfortable and resolving some longstanding issues that compound if not of themselves create them.

I am aware a higher proportion of posts in this blog have been more around other topics of late which is fine as that is me and I don't have any issues owning up to that side but there have been others of which this is one.

Thanks again,
Jo
x

This last weeks lesson

If you were wondering what this weeks edition would be like given some changes in the direction of this blog, the explanation would be that is actually pretty straightforward in that  we are entering the week school resumes give or take a training day.

I have for most of this year been without a fully functioning Windows based laptop and even if it this Chromebook+ is reliable and does rather a lot it does lack some specialist programs that I find useful even for blogging.

Back where my mind oddly enough lives, seemingly stuck in 1974 and the world back then looked rather like this or perhaps more accurately the one I'd of sooner been in did.

That to a large extent is why when I'm away in many respects recreating elements of those times I try to resemble more how I'd rather things had been even though unlike some I don't take issue with some modern touches.

This time of year often bring pangs from that past, getting things ready for the resumption of school, the geometry kits, pens that back then had to be ink ones, no biros never mind computers, and checking and replacing your school uniform from your last Year Group.

Yip school years always run September through July unlike real years and ages seldom really fit into it well as the system runs more for its own benefit.

You always remember Moms last words before leaving the house were pretty much on the lines of  ‘You are to behave yourself’ as she felt you were representing her at school and didn't wish to see letters and receive phone calls regarding your conduct.