Bitter-sweet

It is a warm start to what will be a very warm day having woken up early to get a few chores done and then have to wait on the honey bees gathering nectar just where the waste bin is to finish their thing before putting it out.

Last night I was watching a tv show on the BBC presented by Chris Packham, the noted environmentalist around ADHD and its impact from childhood to adult life to the point one Woman recently diagnosed in her late 40's was effectively dependent on her children to keep her on track with appointments, family tasks .

it was interesting to see also how in early childhood especially at school age, the start of negative self images and becoming isolated creeping in.

What people call executive functioning is something I am aware I struggle with although unlike many on that show it is less lots of different idea balloons you're doing a  flip-flopping balancing act with so much as not knowing where to start and fear of "blank paper" that leads to paralysis.

That had quite a bit to do with "And where is your homework?" conversations as a child although later on I did quite well with supported open learning in later years probably cos I could create a framework that ensured I got the hours per week and the exercise completed for marking rather trying to fit in someone else's.

Dyslexia is more my major intellectual disability coupled with acquired brain damage with things like having five word memory recall which messes up dictation, very poor short term memory  coupled  associated issues with calculus and sequencing.

The lack of support at the time meant by the time I'd left formal education I just felt I couldn't really learn anything and lacked any confidence  just just further messed things up (and that's before gender issues come in).

It's taken a lot of work and generally remapping things to get to the point of being able to work with ideas and changed situations.