I've been away for a number of days in connection with that all encumbering part of my life that I don't really need to write much more about as the account of the six days away can be found Here.
There are some reflections I do feel the need to talk about about on here one is learning to be grateful for what people freely do for you such as seeing I was struggling at one railway station a couple kindly offered to help carry my luggage and even checked when I got to the end of the stairwell I was all right who I no idea of. I thanked them profusely for caring so much and acting on it.
There's the people who kept an eye on me as I was feeling a little homesick where I stayed, spending time with and the friend who knowing the sort of fiction I like, gave me a cherished book from their collection which they sure didn't have to and to which I didn't expect at all after giving them a dolly I thought they'd love.
Then there is a friend of mine who kindly put me up, offering a cooked meal and a lift to the train coming back completely out of the blue, seeing I was on the right platform for my train to come in. Even when I found I simply could not eat the whole of their home made and cooked meal rather than just saying it was very nice-and it was was absolutely lovely- from nowhere I found myself apologizing to them for not finishing my meal clearly feeling contrite.
These acts of kindness really moved me but whereas in the past I'd of blocked out my emotions I thanked them properly for all those things they did not have to do,that I have no right to expect nor demand expressing my gratitude, revealing my sense of being humbled openly.
Another thing was around making sure I stayed within contact while meeting one person after a rail journey, letting them know it was doing and when I would be seeing them which as you may recall resulted in a lecture and spanking last time which I did.
As well I was asked to keep it on while they were going out of the house for a short period later on because they may be delayed and I just complied with the request with no back chat which showed I had learned from last times experiences.
While a few people needed a reminder to tidy up and put their plates in the dishwasher while we were away, I did not and indeed that I had was held up as an example for others to follow.
I think the one thing I can take away from this period is while I may have some distance to go and the potential to relapse, the six days did show I was moving on, being responsible and how I'm being helped to change is really helping me.
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