Paying ones respects

Part of last week was taken up with getting ready for and attending Susan's funeral  which will what today's entry is about
I set out around Midday Wednesday to travel by train to my and her friends in South Staffordshire from the North of the County because Susan had lived for a considerable period in the far South East of England which would be 460 square miles round trip and take a considerable amount of time to get to.
Thus the arrangement was going to involve  having a cooked meal and stopping over night because we'd need to set out just after 6AM  to deal both with the traffic around Birmingham in our region plus that around Greater London/Surrey/Kent which even around Mid Morning is very high to be sure of getting to our first stop.
We played some music including a couple of Beatles cds I'd brought with me as they  had grown up with them on record but no longer had them before going to bed early which is pretty much when my normal bedtime is as at times poorly disabled adult-child.
We got up and dressed very much in black with in my instance deciding to wear a wine coloured sweater in a colour Susan often wore with it before fixing some breakfast ready for off packing a coat in case it was needed and in my instance some oatmeal bars and fruit juice she I need something before being able to pull into a motorway service station that part from selling gasoline, has shops, a cafe and toilets.
As two immediate family members of mine are diabetics, I take the importance of regular meal breaks pretty seriously. Sensing a migraine (travel plus flashing light/sun can trigger it) coming on I immediately took my tablets as they help.
Traffic from Oxfordshire onwards was heavy so we stopped off along the M25 London Orbital Motorway to buy a few things and use the conveniences before continuing in view of the Surrey North Downs where I had been resident for a period actually before we arrived at our first stop a very important town in the history of the Norman Conquest with a splendid Abbey.
Our first task was to get a wreath to the undertaker (the person who deals with the deceased's body) before they closed and the body would make its precession to the Crematorium which we did. We also met her carer who had some mementos before going to the Bluebell Cafe for a a pot of tea served in the finest Staffordshire pottery and found the place the wake (reception for family and friends of the deceased) was for later on.
We then walked about a mile to the rail station to pick up three friends and with another who was staying locally then drove to yet another famous town in the Norman Conquest on the coast where the Crematorium was and where the traffic along the 'A' Road which is the main link to London was pretty bad as it was also in the middle of the town itself.
Indeed it was that bad one of our friends travelling independently only just got there in time!
We assembled in one of the reception rooms waiting for our slot before  we stood at the side of the drive way where the black long car, the 'hearse' , followed by a car with Susan's parents who are elderly and frail in it before we moved relatives first to the chapel for the service to begin.
At Susan's request, the song Parisienne  Walkway by Gary Moore and Phil Lynott was played at the start followed by the eulogies from a Butcher to whom I'd certainly heard about in her life who know her as a man working and socializing together, her parents and then from my friend.
Because some people only would of know her as a man while the service very much referred to her in her transitioned gender and name, for those who were not aware of it reference to her former (male) name was also made.
Drawing them together, they illustrated her wit, intellect, ability to quickly learn, the contributions she'd made in peoples lives as well as her more 'I'm right, you're wrong  and I'll say what I think' side which she had (and acknowledged herself).
There was a reading of the William Wordsworth poem "I wandered lonely as a Cloud" which we learnt was one Susan  had learned from her mother.
The service concluded with another of her music choices Queen's Another One Bites the Dust before we travelled back to her town for the 'wake' which was held in a social club she'd spent much time in over the years.
A spread was laid on so given the weather had held up to the point I'd left my coat in the car, we took our drinks to an outside balcony area with tables together with food and sit in the fresh air talking where we were joined by her Aunt and Uncle and her carer who spent time talking with us about who we were and about our part in Susan's life.
By early evening it was cooling down so we moved to the bar area where tracks were being played in memory of her on the jukebox such as Rubber Bullets famous within our group for an attempt to play a playlist from computer but refusing to play anything but that much to her amusement as from her point of view 'Techno-faff' as she called it, had failed!
We also spotted on the club wall she'd won the club Snooker championship one year as well as learning a bit more of the club games she played such as chess.
By that point all goodbyes being said to her friends,family and amongst our own, we departed for the long trip home which had us arrive with one brief stop around 10:15 PM and quickly having salad before bed time.
It says a lot about me that where as normally I'd of been up anytime from about half five to half six normally I wasn't down Friday morning until eight because not just emotionally but physically I was shattered as glad as I was to have been  able to attend.
We did talk about the service and about her life as we had some breakfast before travelling by car to Bilston Street Island parking lot and walking to the rail station to catch my train (and bus) home.
It was difficult, as I remarked to one of our group, had I of had mascara on my eyes would of been pandafied as I was tearful travelling down rubbing them but I do feel this will help in both dealing with the grief and in generally moving on in my life which was influenced by hers so much.