Wednesday, June 12, 2019

Not a good week

When things seem all over the place all you want is coffee, cakes and candy at  least in my experience wrestling with a lot negativity, worrying uncertainties and having to see strangers for assessments that I didn't actually ask for.
Like for instance after the assessment for PIP which whatever can be said of the methodology around it you can see if you apply for something you may well expect some kind of assessment but when you think you got head around that you receive out of the blue note to say you WILL be assessed in connection with you with a long tick box of benefits they tick Employment and Support Allowance not from the people who administer the benefit  but from the assessment company with a very generic explanation applicable to all benefits they assess of what a assessment entails and why you may be having one you do wonder what is going on.
Normally the people running the benefit write to you reviewing you claim sending a cut down version of the original form which you fill out from which they do have the right to send your for an assessment which is logical enough but at least you know why that is.
The last one of those I had was in April 2017and they didn't send me for an assessment but this time I have the form say I AM to be assessed but no real explication of why you may begin to understand why it is with my mental health issues such poor communication practises only make me ill.
Sufficiently ill that it required me to see my doctor for both the impact on my Anxiety - shaking, being unable to sleep, going through every possibility in my mind - but also bringing with a severe migraine which is something I've had since at least seven as I can recall.
That resulted in some tablets to trial for the migraines and some information and advice on managing anxiety, specifically social anxiety. 
It kind of undermines you that I have things I could read, listen to or play but I just don't have the inclination to just feeling like rolling into a ball to be honest.
I've been out on walks for a bit across the week, watching the birds, keeping an eye on what's growing and what isn't as some of the fields seem to be dried up on places not from sunlight but more lack of rain and meeting with dogs and their owners although Orson the literary cat does try to lock me out.

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