Reflections on events to come

 

Is it too much for people to see how it is their perceptions of you lead to the situation you and you alone are "the problem", the one who can't just be like the others because you are not made that way even in other ways they are not either?

That people operate such under the radar systems of communication, indirect, often in places and settings away from you with no transparency from start to finish you are expected to know just how to respond and when by.

If you are so ill you are point you are unable to communicate for a period, no one inquires just how you are or reminds you about anything they know more about than you do so all you hear is "we heard nothing".

I'd put it another way: Frankly knowing what you do, you don't care much one way or another, another name another number on a list, it really didn't matter to you. 

Mission was accomplished and so that's how its always been. 

You are left feeling "the problem" was you and it will never stop. Were you ever really in the group?

At Midnight all happens

 To be honest I haven't been too great since Sunday when an appalling error by the groan ups really messed my stomach up and presently I'm in migraine patch for good measure.

It's hardly surprising then my thoughts are back to bed literally with shared dorms where conversations were a lot more closer than in classroom away from the influence of teachers and the like and so we pretty much knew each other inside out.

We'd arrange secret parties, practice doing our hair and make up on each other, have pillow fights and compare notes on our friends.

It's a reason that whole era remains evocative with me and the recreation in the context of being little figures with games at midnight and mysterious things under the door or in the corridors.

Be the change

It's a summer's day after the weekend that saw me playing with one gender variant child and having a blast for just going more with who you really are are than any set roles and that while everyone looked on and just accepted the scene.

No one seriously expects rounds of applause for being you however you are and everybody has an opinion however well informed on everything and that includes us but all you need to do is allow the space for everyone to be themselves.

And that's what we had from people brought up in the boys and girls do "this" and wear "that" era with all it's policing in the playground and in some families to extreme lengths that weekend.

I just felt privileged to spend time with them.

I'm just cleaning a replacement record by paw and it hasn't half removed a load of dust and other debris from deep in the groove after some 40 years!
 

Bits of Little Related stuff

 There are a couple of things on my mind and they do kind of connect of which one is really about what we call milestone ages, the ones society feels are like super important and so put a lot into marking such as your 18th birthday and say your fortieth.

Recently a friend who had made the chronological four-zero really found themselves really upset to feel they'd ceased to be young and it has harder to hide being more of a child in some ways when people think you're an aunt or uncle to a child.

The thing you to remember is not just is that age is just a number but also appearance as it applies to notions of age differs - some look a good decade or more younger and others conversely may look older and really that child-like you in middle will always be there no matter how many years elapse from your actual birth.

The other thing is I'm just not happy with how my blog is going at **sml cos like Tumblr there's a reblogging culture but recently I found over 100 reblogs just blocked going right back to 2019, many with own thoughts and commentary on them that in their words were found to breach their rules or had been deleted.

Given from the start they always were deleting stuff that wasn't okay on a "adult site" it seems odd you'd find that many new ones to remove and that perhaps they are thinking they can monitarize posts by wiping anything that may get in the way of getting people who do commercial photoshoots although some 80% at least is reblogs from the well known spanking related companies.

Spanking frankly is the only reason I got an account there following the Tumblr purge of November and December 2018 and yet keeping a well curated blog being ultra cautious on content given they took out a picture of child's toy on a post around age regression with no child present.

And Age Regression and CG/l are the elephants in that sites room as they don't easily fit into post 2018 Tumblr for being too near Adult Content and yet appear to be too close to actual child interests even if you do keep actual children out of any images posted.

For us Spanking posts can and and do live next to say dollies, colouring and "little girl" or "little boy" styled outfits that we may wear as legal adults.

I just wonder of keeping one updated is worth the effort when I'm not always well.

Time for some Nielsen

Bit of a dull start to the day here with heavy rain as I've twanged my right calf again so I'm hobbling about following the streaming at Confuzzled, the UK premier furry event where my brother and several of my friends are at in Birmingham in the West Midlands of England.

Recently I picked up this box set following an exploration of Scandinavian music

.

Carl Nielsen was born on the Danish island of Funen on June 9th 1865, taking up music playing and attending the Royal Danish Academy of Music and is regarded as the pre-eminent composer of that country and died in 1931. His earlier works were inspired by Grieg and Brahms.

He wrote 6 symphonies all of which tended  to be around the half hour length  were written between 1892 and 1925 and have a number of common characteristics such as the prominence of the role of brass instruments  and unusual changes in tonality that have the effect of heightening the dramatic feel.

That's one reason why I wanted the whole set  and this one recorded around the 1990's bot only features the superb playing of the San Francisco Symphony Orchestra  but also  an excellent warm sounding recording.

I've transferred these recordings in Lossless full cd quality for my Fiio X3 digital music player