Another reset needed

It's been a quick transition from late summer to autumn with it getting much cooler and for their being torrential rain that meant it wasn't able to get out much plus that districts from being stuff.

Somethings have been coming along fairly okay like getting things for the next get together and things for Christmas but there are other things on my mind.

I was struggling several days ago just getting head into gear, missing off tidying things away before going into this tiny hidey hole for hours and emerging to the mood music so with how things are right now with me it wasn't long before the cane came out.

You might of wished it had stayed at this point, a few strokes but it won't anymore so the gym knickers came down and that's when it all started.

Several days on and there remain welts that are raised apart from lumps from a well caned bottom that feel warm and sore with searing burning sensations amplified if I sit for any length of time that intrude on my thoughts so I can't tune them out of my head.

However you wrap this thing up, I am very conscious of been disciplined, the unpleasant sensations that lead to you feeling tearful but knowing you brought this on by you inactions.

I don't need nor deserve sympathy for what lead to this because I know what it is I am meant to do and how things will run from now on if they don't because the emotions, the unpleasant feelings are what need to burn into me to deter this kind of attitude.

My job is to take and learn from it without exceptions.

I'm paying the price for my own actions and inactions these days.