Making sense of changed situations

This week began not in any way as planned as I had remarked in the odd place a few times Dad hadn't been well for a few weeks with a UTI and that one set of antibiotics just hadn't worked and that after something after a faff last Friday following a doctors visit a second lot had arrived.

Well he seemed to slow down and felt decidedly off colour over the weekend but rallied overnight so although I had worked a way of getting the shopping in he'd agreed to, he was adamant he was going out and attempt to Monday except he fell after some strange double vision eposides.

Thus I got back from doing most of I'd planned only to hear the sorry story but then finding he couldn't get up after a quick check over by the Paramedics so he got taken to A&E.

That meant I've been keeping people in touch with developments but also figuring out the washing machine as for one thing the machine I last used personally was a bit different when Mom was still alive and fighting a battle for control of the washing and while then Powder was still just that and liquids that came in sachets you cut and put into a ball  direct to the drum todays powders and conditioners are different so I needed to check.

No sense in acting in haste and possibly jamming something!

So towels and clothes got cleaned  as I also fixed food.

Hopefully he'll be back in a few days time.

Pride Month thoughts

Rough weekend here but it is the start of a new Month with a few things having come to which I've read or played in the case of cds and records on the stereo but oddly enough going to a forum that is more about music accidentally challenged me to this post.

See, this month is Pride Month, that around the globe LGBTQ+ event where events are held with speakers and all of that and it happened they had a thread on it in Off Topic where those who are gay,lesbian like my bff, bio or Tg posted a bit about themselves and their own feelings.

Now because of the stuff that went down way back in 2009 that involved ex members making a gone rogue site, I wasn't come out with the whole of it but did show my colours cos looking back on it I wasn't doing anything wrong for being openly Tg and a Little off site although a subset of Tg people see that at least damaging to their (higher) status amongst the muggles.

Nobody really is any better or worse for being just who they are in the Tg world and few of us really know about other peoples bedroom or playroom activities.

These day I am even prepared to admit to myself a few more "sissy" traits are in me as much as I keep anything remotely sexual well detached from the little side, at play not least loving the satins and frills in moderation as that uber girlie side does like to come out.

And why shouldn't?

We are all deserve the right to be free-free to be me, be open about ourselves - and enjoy the life it takes us along.

Yours Jo, T gurl.

Ello peoples

Weekend was a bit busy sorting through somethings, finding one cd that was being a bit reluctant to play and then there is never ending discourse around topics like just going at people cos of their gender issues which are in no way relevant to what the individual  and that group do together.

One suggests it's just what happens when one part in power tosses 1% of the population under the bus for 49% of the electorates votes but as one the 24% disabled in the uk, we're frequently tossed under the bus by all the parties as over 60% of people just don't accept disabilities exist or try to marginalize the extent within society.

And Labour are no better on that - hello Atos, Capita, Esa and the disability denying factories all set up under their watch than the Conservatives who did introduce Disability Living Allowance replacing the almost impossible to claim Attendence Allowance for those under 65 having seen people unable to walk being turned down for it.

The problem is prejudiced attitudes really. 

A few reflections along the way

It's certainly cooler than this time last week which generally speaking is a good thing as it was getting really a bit too much but we definitely need some rain as the ground is solid here, grass shrivelled in spots and a whole series of canal locks up in Cheshire are at risk of being shut as there's insufficient water to operate properly and some in the Manchester area are so people cannot  get along part of the network.

Yesterday wasn't too great with a bit of an infection followed by a medium intensity migraine attack resting on the coach between the arrival of various couriers with bits that didn't quite fit in the letterbox usually because they were packed in much bigger than needed packaging with the usual tapping sound on the door.

You wouldn't think we had an electric door bell with a prominent button!

Bitter-sweet

It is a warm start to what will be a very warm day having woken up early to get a few chores done and then have to wait on the honey bees gathering nectar just where the waste bin is to finish their thing before putting it out.

Last night I was watching a tv show on the BBC presented by Chris Packham, the noted environmentalist around ADHD and its impact from childhood to adult life to the point one Woman recently diagnosed in her late 40's was effectively dependent on her children to keep her on track with appointments, family tasks .

it was interesting to see also how in early childhood especially at school age, the start of negative self images and becoming isolated creeping in.

What people call executive functioning is something I am aware I struggle with although unlike many on that show it is less lots of different idea balloons you're doing a  flip-flopping balancing act with so much as not knowing where to start and fear of "blank paper" that leads to paralysis.

That had quite a bit to do with "And where is your homework?" conversations as a child although later on I did quite well with supported open learning in later years probably cos I could create a framework that ensured I got the hours per week and the exercise completed for marking rather trying to fit in someone else's.

Dyslexia is more my major intellectual disability coupled with acquired brain damage with things like having five word memory recall which messes up dictation, very poor short term memory  coupled  associated issues with calculus and sequencing.

The lack of support at the time meant by the time I'd left formal education I just felt I couldn't really learn anything and lacked any confidence  just just further messed things up (and that's before gender issues come in).

It's taken a lot of work and generally remapping things to get to the point of being able to work with ideas and changed situations.

Oh Miss Manners

As I'm typing this, I'm not feeling great to be honest and perhaps it might be a better thing to rest but I'll get that done in a few minutes as this blog doesn't write itself unfortunately.

I did talk on Monday on the other blog a bit about what bugs me about some folks ideas around how as a girl you *should* look and that so I don't really want to repeat but in essence I'm a modern more free spirited  girl who doesn't see why the question should be "And can I do this as a Girl" or "Is that okay for girls?".

We've all moved on from that gender divided nonsense cos we're just girls, being girls. End of.

I did see last weeks post seemed to generate a lot of reads and yes comments - why doesn't that surprise me? - but that's just a posted routed in reality of a real life experience not a fantasy and I like reality to be routed in just that.

I don't mind writing about such events tastefully but they're not going to be every week  or even every month so I'll  continue to write about other things often around emotions and feelings here I think as I prefer to work "from the heart" and less to expectation.

BFN.

Uniform revision?

Last week was rather different in that the prospect of a day of lessons prior to another event had been raised and to which I had agreed

I have a skirt very much like this although at the moment I was required to get although I was offered a tie  although a n other needed to fasten it form me as the person running things is shall we say "old-fashioned" and doesn't believe in clip on ties plus white school blouse.

That takes me to this, a classic 11 plus look I recall from my own childhood complete with ties as junior and senior school children are expected to wear and fasten their own with only some combined infant/juniors having a common uniform across all ages from rising 5's to 11+ insisting on either white or navy long socks be worn.

Also my knickers were specified - nothing remotely "adult" just old school full knickers to match my navy skirt.

Until a few years ago it wasn't unknown for me to be on the receiving end of the odd bit of discipline in a more everyday context although with covid and that things had dropped off.

At a site I've seen and been talking with people including two I know more around school days and especially discipline and I think something like this girls look may be it and perhaps while I often thought more in terms of thinks like hand spanking, the slipper, ruler and paddle how would I feel about caning coming back and what if I had to hold and present it the person who was to cane me?

I had ever done only experienced the odd very mild physical punishment in actual school during the period where it was being phased out and had never attended any kind of an adult school session in the way some do, booking weekends and being "in role", this school day was something new.

We did some Mathematics (aka Math/maths) covering imperial measurements which is not something being metricated I found easy with all the conversions and different forms, science where we looked at how Lava Lamps work, English comprehension and grammar and observation. which I was better at although truth be told being dyslexic, having less than five word memory retention and put in remedial classes for some subjects I did better on.

Being the poorest in the group in individual tests did mean being bent over the desk for a spanking in front of the class but what was more surprising was apart from the familiar feel of your skirt being raised over my back and folded in, I felt a hand around the waist of my navy knickers and felt them being pulled down in full view of everyone.

I was being bare bottom spanked with brisk firm strokes of the paddle loud sounds of it landing on my skin, gritting ones teeth as I felt each stroke before they decided to pull my knickers up and skirt diwn before returning to my own desk.

It was incredible to experience a punishment that was tailored to add humiliation into the mix so directly particularly as the person concerned hadn't really shown much interest in going beyond over knickers before.

While it remains painful, it was a great experience.