2x Confusion....

In theory at least both parents assuming you had a tradition 'Nuclear' family would share the roles out doing things together, taking an interest in you and disciplining you fairly evenly so the one thing that ties all three together, their love for you are things both experience and you should be able to sense.
You shouldn't need to 'act up' to get parental attention nor should you feel one is a doormat you can trick into doing anything.
It was never like that with me having to fight tooth and nail to attend anything about me at school especially during the critical years, the messy disciplining system issues around disability and gender identity and so on.
It's ironic after these years Mommy has finally come around to the notion that spankies can help me and does use them on occasions.