Discipline with love

I have lots of problems in my life but a good many go back to how I was raised or rather not raised that have caused me lots of issues some more around how others set their own rules and how they wanted me to relate to them that was at variance with others so I saw myself as at least an absolute equal to you although you were said to be an authority figure or able to get away with challenging you for authority.
It's really time I think to start again
When people talk about disciplining, they tend to think it should be a frequent occurrence to spank but if you do it right it shouldn't be that necessary because if you did it to me, I would associate the discomfort with what I did and avoid it.
It's not necessary to go really into 'hard spanking' being so harsh it hard caused me to lose my spirit but it needs to be sufficient to cause my to cry genuinely from from the pain you applied to my bottom.
If you would have me learn to yield  to your loving authority, there's every chance I'd learn to submit to the other forms authority that will confront me in my life such as teachers, school principal, police, neighbours and employers.
I need you to uphold your authority and constantly so when I challenge you, you win decisively and I always lose.
This isn't happening right now.
I want you to take that rod of correction and use it sparingly but with love whenever I am challenging you with no good reason so I learn my proper relationship between you and other authority in my life and me.
This would really help me.
All my love, Jo.