For me walking as we did from where we lived and indeed sometimes on arrival to school is well lodged in my memory to the point my mind returns to that past whenever I'm along that route.Hey there! Just typing this up at the cooler start of this hot summers day before I chill out on my swing with plenty of drinks outdoors.
Still, during the week while dressed up as my little girl self, something came back to me that has remained with me for a good many years and it's that I'm writing about this week.
It was at middle school around the age of ten that this happened.
For several days I had had this uneasy feeling that I was being talked about to and from school by people who weren't part of my class - I think they were the class below me - for some reason probably connected with not being a part of their gender separated world.
Anyway, this afternoon at the end of school I started the walk back home along the big main estate thoroughfare and went to cross over as I though I heard voices sounding a bit menacing a few steps behind and walked about three houses down when two boys jumped on me and started kicking and punching me.
I played dead and they kinda gave up so I got up hurting a fair bit and was asked by a lady who lived in the garden where this was by if I was alright.
I guess in hindsight the bigger thing was the shock as from that day I just switched off emotionally not trusting the other kids around me much and always being fearful of boys.
It's taken decades to begin trusting people and almost as long to believe in right to be me and gradually with everyone's help at GT I feel I'm getting there.
My experience of spanking at Junior school is lodged firmly in my memory not least for simply being a regular part of our lives and the room we'd be taken to for this was a big room where the head teacher did his work during class time with a wooden wall with big plain windows and a door we had to wait by several of us at a time to be called in.
Looking through the glass you'd see say girl standing in the room who at that moment could easily of been me upset, bottom on fire waiting as the next child is spanked in front of us for our collective actions which in a simply way we just accepted back then associating it with the order that kept us safe because the Adults were in control of us.
It is an important part of my age-playing as in addition to discipline needs which I am beginning to accept better now.
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