Hmm I'm kind of late with this cos I was feeling muzzy Monday and generally I tend to write this blog in real time from the feelings and emotions as experienced at that moment and I'm only a bit better today so kinda bear with me.
I was watching Tuesday morning the studio ghibi anime movie - anime isn't just like 20 odd minute episodes in a series animation from Japan, it has a full length form too - "The Tale of the Princess Kaguya" when a series of thoughts rather struck me of one is the sad and unpleasant things are mixed in with the joyful pleasant ones in your one life.
Like you can't pick and chose them from whatever life you lead regardless of whither or not you actively sought those and so imperfection is actual normal and is best expected in your life however much you may quite rightly strive toward more of the happy enjoyable things for you and those you care about.
Another was that sometimes what it is you what you do attracts attention that negates from what it is you yourself get from it and that people only want you for what they themselves get from you or in effect live through you.
I have seen this sometimes through how people attempt to put age regression into boxes that either imply it something it just isn't or unwanted attention of a sexual kind. Sometimes more to do with what being transgendered is with some to show you with friendship if you go their own way with what it means and pull back suggesting you're not meeting their idea of what presenting means.
Because I may not tick some peoples preferred boxes and labels pretty much refusing to go their way preferring to be honest to myself you can feel alone but I'd sooner that than feeling a hollow little faker.
I'm the kind of girl who keeps her own ball up in the air on her terms and nobody elses.
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