Chaos inc!

Ooo er, If I tried that around around here I'd be in some serious trouble for sitting on top the table although to be honest I am a  bit prone to plonking myself on anything flat and convenient if truth be told.
The full account will be told on another blog but one thing I do find is I get very anxious especially when it doesn't appear anything is really anchored because I struggle without being given the ropes of structure and this easily feeds into my behaviour at times.
I was supposed to be attending a wedding social get together  this weekend gone and believe me given the lack of clear information about what was happening, when it was and the overall picture you'd of thought it was covered by the Official Secrets Act as I was told next to nothing and attempts to try and get any further information just hit a brick wall.
First we had a communication saying in effect keep the day clear then an official invite for a social gathering from around two to eleven pm so having checked during the week I was to for around six pm making arrangements for my food as in cooking a joint only to find on the Sunday in a phone call all that was off - the planned wedding elsewhere was called off - and it was going to happen in two hours time.
A Quick phone call to the grooms father established that even he knew nothing until the middle of the day before and he was to witness it!!!
This meant some rushing about trying to get changed quickly and reorganizing my transport to get there as I was told I needed to attend.
Well, I was nervous before we started as I find being with people, being able to 'read' their clues and that difficult as I didn't want to mess up socially and this didn't really help any so I made of point in keeping a couple of things in my trouser pocket to use to 'stim' with if needed but I managed to steady my nerves so I could interact a bit with people although it was funny when someone said who's the school girl in her uniform!
I also played a bit with fluorescent pink and green sticks as everything had a spooky theme.
I think I did okay coping with the chaos surrounding event  which goes to show I'm getting betterer at this than I used to be.
Like I did end up on a good set of notes not least attending on my terms and showing many difficulties aside I can be far more responsible than my younger brother when it comes to dealing with changed circumstances and focusing on what really matters. I think cuteness comes from within  actually, not that cannot look attractive and dress in a cute way if that's you because it's how you see things and act upon them and for me there's a direct practically child like way of doing this which isn't studied or otherwise affected. That's the thing with me, you don't get 'adult' games going on because they aren't in me and moreover I don't even understand how you might even play them so in 'adult' situations I am a 'innocent abroad' and am actually a lot more vulnerable than you may think. You may call that 'cute'. It's just me being me!

Wednesday ramblings

There are few things I do want to talk about today that don't easily slot into the other blogs of which one may have an effect on next weeks edition which is I'll be out Sunday for some kind of wedding reception event my oldest brothers son features in.
If that sounds vague in my weirdo family between my brothers and  that's how it is as it's been the most secretive wedding going with the groom seemingly being unaware of his involvement in it, his Dad knowing nothing about the day and if he was even attending.
Nobody knows where the wedding ceremony seems to be taking place although bride and groom spend ten days in Florida which was seen as honeymoon  so it 'may' have happened there and in any event his aunts were not invited to attend.
We only received an invitation to what reads as a reception event for friends that people can dip in and out of at whim although we are aunts and uncles and God parents which doesn't suggest any thing formal such as lunch or witnessing the Union.
As  yet even the question of how it is we're supposed to get their hasn't been resolved with the usual state of non-communication between themselves and between us and them.
Al we know is the dress code is black and red as its a Goth themed event or perhaps more 'happening' might seem a better term so I'm looking in the closet for something to wear.
The other thing is really to do with being on forums which having been on various ones since 2005 I think I've a pretty good angle on as while often they can be fun sometimes people can cause problems to others in which instance site owners have to deal the mess.
The problem seemed to be that some dispute got heated as strangely enough they do at which point it attracted the attention of the sites Moderation whose job it is to keep things within the law and to act on rules which are about people having a good time on the site are broken who decided to block the person.
This person used the status update that hadn't been blocked to lambast the moderator and accuse another of being involved suggesting they'd been picked on.
This sort of approach seldom if ever achieves anything good as it looks very disrespectful to challenge a moderator publicly where taking a disagreement to message or email is usually better and accusing people in public not only adds fuel to the fire but risks polarizing a forum undermining its core purpose.
It seems so odd people who presumably wouldn't handle a in so-called real life like that goes this way at it.
The thing both have in common is how they can effect how I feel and the extent I've learned to switch off more so I don't let them drag me down emotionally.

Love and understandings in middle/little space

Sometimes the Sqynx has an effect that goes beyond their initial context such as an abdl comic where topics arise within a page and some discussion in its comments box  takes part to which I have post a few observations but as I didn't wish to put highly personalized ones in there I thought It'd set them out here instead.
When a person sets out in their little/middle age regressed to build not so much on being emotionally that person playing but in the return of those structures and relating patterns that more mirror those of child to Parent such as a "Caregiver/little" there can be a difference between your sense of needing and wanting it as that little and being ready emotionally for the 'rolling back' when it comes to having that final say and certain of facets such as wearing and using diapers or how you are to to present yourself in their company.
This is something that the Caregiver needs to be aware of, talking through respecting limits even if over time they may change not seeing this as a automatic disrespect issue between little and Caregiver and treated accordingly
This is something in a less structured matter of fact way is talked through  between those adults in my life who assume Caregiver roles and myself all the time so they know my limits and I am clear on what we have agreed on.

When in their company I am very much that little/middle and this is my relating style personified not least when there is any question as to my conduct to the as Caregiver(s) very much their 'child' to whom all this happens not just because it is the authentic me but because they love me so much that they enable that side to present and be acted on by them as that child.

As that 'child' they look after me with all those expectations and rules that I stand attentively  deferring to them as my adult authorities as they scold and spank me as they feel appropriate.

Sometimes it is hard for some to understand that actually that allowing me that space to be and present as little/middle me and this other side are connected but actually they are.

Their scolding and spanking me is a reflection their love for me, that they know I can do better and need to be corrected to move me on, the very same love that allows me to be little me.

My spanked bottom is an  a sign of that that we all should be glad of.

*Some comments on blog layout*
As you may of noticed if you are viewing this via a traditional laptop computer rather than a smartphone or tablet computer, the layout may look different this is because of two things, one I am unifying the layouts between my little/middle blog, the middles journal "That Boarding School Girl" and this, Joanne's Dorm, for improved legability and ease of finding things such as pages.
The second is technical which is the template width across the board for all three are now set at 1100 px where originally they were set at 860px because way back in the mid 2000's computer monitors had such smaller resolutions that also were square shaped and today most are at least 1366x768px or better widescreen.
It put simply looks less squashed up and cluttered.
The original Blogger 'Classic templates were limited to 860px but I changed the templates to newer ones a year or two ago.

New term at the dorm and in trouble!

There's nothing quite like a big case for taking an impromptu rest on now is there although being perched on the end of a table comes a close second if my recollections for being told off for it at school and elsewhere are anything to go by. And yes that's a hockey stick seeing it's Autumn and the school hockey season is upon us.
In the eighties, when hip hop and turntabling become very popular we had a good number of catch phrases such as "Cat Scratch Fever" that made their way on to silver and black stickers we liberally coated our pocketbooks and dorms with although the kind of scratch fever I have presently is different.
Marmalade, the most imposing cheekiest ever pussycat, you see has brought that kind of scratch fever to me with inflamed red spots where his fleas have made a meal out of me and I'm feeling very itchy.
Believe me trying to both not scratch these darn things and not get irritated with people and things because of the discomfort it's leaving me in is hard going so I'm like counting to ten before responding because it's not other peoples fault I'm feeling this way.
I have to try to learn to deal with them better these days.
That wasn't the only thing that happened  this week though.
Rain it has to be said doesn't do much for my bones at all so when it's not okay to be  out then attention naturally turns to indoor matters and may be things that have been put off. The other week I was talking about the mountains of VHS tapes that don't get played as I no longer have a recorder and even the dvd box sets that seemed a good idea at the time that were rocketing skywards in piles and eventually I got around to tidying them up  and removing chunks untouched unplayed for like years and some instances decades. 
"How many times do I have to tell you you have to do something about those high rise tower block piles of cd's, Jo?" Well that would of been on a caption made for me cos I like have to deal with them which between a coffee break and writing this  I am doing cos they're like rabbits, multiplying so I've been tidying them up so they're in sort of order rather than last order used and thinning them out. Later on I have to wait, have my progressed on this checked and then I'm to be bent over, knickers taken down for a paddling for shooting through repeated instructions to do this. Don't feel sorry for me as I do need to learn from this experience.
Until the next time, bye