You and the week

Well the tidying up this term continues in The Dorm which I hope you all appreciate while obviously we need to continue with new entries that follow that aim  which are really rooted in now.

Being away this weekend was great, managed against the odds to walk rather more taking my time at it than I had since being struck down with covid a few years ago that affected my breathing noticeably apart from brain fog and lethargy, taking in the sea air.

My world is and always has been a bit different, like how many people do you know who are legally adults that have dollies on their armchairs and teddies on benches in the front room and yesterday I spent the day in pink and white short skirt with white tights on?

Or who else would see seeing the White Rabbit  and buying coconut ice as being a highlight, just loving cute tasty candy?
 

It's not as if the other things didn't make an impact, like Miss Kitty, I found punk rock but it brought itself into that world rather than moving me along beyond it so the world in minds eye is different than my peers.

Growing Up? Well that was rather less of a space ship booster rocket take off into new unexplored space as a widening of the current space even if magazines like this would of been more what I would of wished for as much as the loss of so much of the children's comics over the last few decades is sad when fun got replaced by commercializing Tv, toy and movie ties with plastic tat.

Web events today are a thing, you buy access tickets and take part in interactive sessions even if real life conventions still exist although sadly I missed this one some nine years ago

Nap time

Nap times are important to me so to cuddle up to my stuffies really matters as it keep me happy and get the rest in so I can get things done.

War is over!

There are differences between in so-called 'real life' and online life when it comes to communities around certain topics and lifestyles where sometimes different takes and different understandings of terms do apply that have lead to complications.
The world of Age Regression is one where this is very common place although in a matter of  a few days this have started to change with less polarized views being more accepted and more peacefully co-existence pursued.
Although there were few websites that covered sometimes from a submissive angle this, most of the activity was sites such as Tumblr and much of the activities connected with regression such as colouring, more child-like play and the like tended to talked of in more Caregiver/little or DD/lg groups because they were the only groups that did accept it at that time although there was much around the separate and kink connected Age Play scene.
What lead to the creation of specifically Age Regression communities was the increase in youngsters typically 14 through 18 who were following Caregiver/little Tumblrs for the age regression content and the issues between contact with kink and minors.
The spate between communities was more that some of us split from Cg/l but used some terms such as littlespace and littles  while others fearing this may put minors at risk of inappropriate contact made their own who then started saying those that didn't condoned kink and in effect kept a rigid division up even though what was posted  and what we all did was essentially the same.
Unfortunately this did spill over into name calling and the like being on a bad day worse than many a school playground.
Different groups had different name that sometimes on one side split again  as one wanted to more 'purist' than the other.
Much of this after a period where the more purist side lost ground as increasingly more questioned the refusal to allow reblogging of minor friendly non sexual entirely sfw age regression content from the other while more specialized activity groups for say stimming or play changed allegiances.
Last week after a vote, the larger current group who had gone their way, the Kidhearts decided to allow their members to reblog, message and join groups by the remainder of us so long as we respect the individual members feels about such interaction which people usually have on a separate page on their tumblr.
That is so much more how we'd deal with differences within the world of Adult Littles face to face and I am glad we have a workable system within the online communities now  to allow each other to work together while respecting differences.

Summer Littles Camp 2019

Last week I was away at a 'littles camp' a place where you can let your little/inner child out with others and caregivers/ significant others which was in East Anglia, UK and today's post is about that.

I set out about Twenty to Eleven in a taxi to catch my train from the best rail station in the Northwest Midlands to travel to a large town in the Black Country meet with Miss Green who kindly agreed to drive both us to the venue.


Travelling was mainly uneventful outside of a broken down vehicle causing delays on the motorway from Wednesbury, Staffs to Castle Bromwich , Birmingham and heavy rain that reduced visibility plus ongoing roadworks around Cambridge and Huntingdon on the A14.

We arrived just on Four in the afternoon, with assistance, moved bags plus things for camp such as food, games equipment and so on. 

The society of Little Girl engineers solved how to make the Lego Disney Princesses Castle in eighteen hours that involved making over 14 sections including various Disney characters on the castle drawbridge and then dropping in each completed section which was a room in the style of a Disney Princess.

We also completed one jigsaw but had to terminate another as it was way too hard for the time we had remaining.

The Games Morning:
Mrs Green on Monday put on a 'Sports Day', a kind of homage to the kind of school sports days many of us can recall from being around 8 through 12 when while winners got prizes, it was really rather more about the taking part than how things got by high school with the 'jocks' an all.
Archery, relay race, score a netball goal, the 'egg and spoon' race, sack race one I certainly did hobbling about at the time and even a sponge the staff competition for good measure. 
One felt sorry for a well soaked Mr.Pool 

Arts and Crafts
This time a 'formal' session wasn't laid on but various materials such as things to paint, paper, kits etc were set out for anyone who wished to do some either indoors or as the weather was pleasant outdoors.

 This is what I painted after going for a walk on Tuesday morning, a Cheshire Cat in the manner of Garfield.
For me arts and crafts are enjoyable even with my co-ordination and damaged paws, providing the kind of relaxed, more child-like headspace I need.

Walks: A few of us did venture out for a spot of rambling though fields and woodland nearby toward lakes, meeting cyclists, people walking dogs and families with children.

 I am a more outdoor, exploring, identifying and self challenging sort of a person who really doesn't like being cooped up indoors and not given to changing outfits much give the difficulties dressing itself presents frequently.

I set breakfast up for those who wished to across the time apart from helping out within my (limited) means.

Alice put on a Space Themed treasure hunt on Monday afternoon with clues to find which was fun.

Lunchtime catering was mainly salads with cheese, eggs and meats  apart from Monday where Jacket baked potatoes with optional fillings were available put together by Daisy, Suzy, Jillian and a few others whose names escape me.

Evening meals were mainly cooked by members of our group with Karla and Caroline doing a great outdoor Barbecue on the Sunday with sausages, pork, chicken, beef burgers and kebabs complete with onions and baps and Jennifer did pies, mashed potatoes, creamed parsnips and mixed veg on Tuesday.

On Monday evening having got details of what everyone wanted and telephoned them in, we had fish and chips apart from the odd person who preferred either sausages or a whole chicken which Samantha and a.n.other collected from a shop a few miles away.
On arrival most people had an ordered 'Indian' - various curried dishes - apart from Jennifer and I who had pork and vegetables coupled with cake with strawberries.

On Sunday Mr Pool, suitably dried put on a disco with lighting  for everyone and on Monday, the resident Nekomini laid on her "all purr-puss" music quiz after tea that everyone enjoyed complete with prizes.

Apart from one furson and two people who needed to leave earlier we all left on Wednesday morning before 11 am and apart from a few roadworks that involved one minor detour was largely uneventful we arrived at the train station so I could catch my train home which after a short taxi ride got me in for just after 3 pm to unpack and unwind.

I'd like to than everyone that did something tidy up, help with food and drinks, put on events, handle the booking and so on for a super time. 


 

Winter Littles Camp 2019

This week we go back about a week and a few days while I was away at the UK Littles Camp somewhere in the Midlands for a meet up that turned out a bit different than normal and not just because we were in a different location.

First off setting off on the Friday was chaotic in the extreme for damage near Norton Bridge that caused over 50 minute delays and cancellations on my train and on many others as it affected the whole West Coast Mainline between Scotland and London.
It was more by luck and following gut instinct I found a train within a few minutes to time although technically it too was delayed by over 50 minutes so arrived something like on time as I waited with a friend to pick up another person.

I like taking pictures so when I spotted this view nearby, I was rewarded with this lovely sunset scene that to me sums up Winter with the rolling hills in the background.
Arrival on Friday afternoon was made easier for it being roughly an hours drive from my friends as we went around the countryside and  through a  town  with walled gates that anyone familiar with this part of the Midlands would recognize.
We unpacked meeting Andi, Daisy and Suzy, putting the food we bought for the week away and had lamb shoulder steaks, mashed potato and greens while everyone else had various Indian foods ordered locally before making a bit of start on one of several jigsaws and I read a couple of comic annuals.

Saturday after getting up and helping set things up for breakfast, Miss Green had organized a cake and biscuit making cookery class where various biscuits and cakes were made in animal shapes such as Dinosaurs using moulds and a caterpillar  from swiss rolls covered in pink icing.
Fudge and I decided to make cupcakes - eighteen of them - using a commercial mix to which two eggs, a portion of margarine, milk and flour were added and whisked by hand before going in the oven.
Above is a few that were decorated with icing sugar, the shapes being cut out using a mould.
The midday meals were meat based salad buffets put together by Daisy and Suzy that were much appreciate with fries too.
Saturday saw Jillian's General knowledge quiz complete with pictures of famous stars in their earlier years you had to identify.
We had mainly fish and chips from a nearby chip shop (where else?) for our evening meal Caroline having places the order earlier  and being picked up just after the mad hour at the store.
It may of been had a little later than normal but I think the quality more than made up for it.
Sunday after going out was more a relaxing day and for tea we had various mainly steak based pies mashed potatoes and peas prepared by Miss Green with help from assorted others followed by  Sammy's home made Strawberry cheesecake having been made the day before was served which was delicious.

Across the days several jigsaw were done including a three dimensional Harry Potter one, one of Amsterdam and this one.
A number of people took advantage of this areas outstanding natural beauty - it has an official status to that effect - to go on walks.
Sunday night meant it was time for the "All purrpuss nekomimi Music Quiz" that was hosted by a certain Neko who has a lot to do with this blog that was run in four teams.
Amazingly there was draw so the Neko had to generate a tie-breaker that put Mr Paul's Tone Def's in the lead followed by the LKMFK's.
This was followed by Miss Green's reading of a farmyard story before bedtime, a ritual I very much like.

On the Monday, a good two cars worth of us walked two miles each way from a parking lot to visit the attractive  medieval market town of Ludlow which can be seen here with St. Laurence's church to the left with the castle, which we visited together with the towns market interacting with people.
Although I didn't make the very top, the Normans not really being into disability access, I did with assistance did get beyond ground level which was great for me personally.

This is Clun Castle that a number of us visited on Sunday as Fudge kindly offered take a few us with them which is more a relic of motte and bailey construction, quite a way up for which I did need a fair amount of assistance.
Monday afternoon was taken up with Alice's enjoyable Disney Princess treasure hunt that was staged in the place we stayed going up down a good number of stairs.
In the evening after the Chilli Con Carne that Karla and Caroline had made with cottage pie for one who cannot be doing with spices and rice that was delicious.

A couple of people left on the Monday due to work and related commitments but as unexpected we'd been allowed to stay an extra night and my train had been booked for midday when everyone had left by around ten am Tuesday, Miss Green and I went to the Shropshire Hills Discovery Centre to see the exhibit on the ice age Woolly Mammoths that were found at Condover, Shropshire in 1986/7 and how that part of Shropshire had changed over the centuries covering geography, history and agriculture to the present day.
It's interesting to note how this part of Shropshire played an important part in Great Britain and the significance of the Woolly Mammoth find.
This also included a film presentation in a mini film theatre with seating.
We went on to see the meadows plus a short walk that was accessed via the fire doors and returned where Miss Green enjoyed her cream tea and I had a choco pudding with cream all of which were sourced from local producers and made by hand in the pleasant cafe.
We then moved to a nearby rail station to catch my train straight home but not before seeing a freight train come through on platform one and arrive at the biggest and best rail station in the North-west Midlands, hopping into a taxi in minutes straight home.

Doing something like this doesn't take an ocean of organizing necessarily but does require a certain amount of planning and  co-operation which remarkably worked well even though unlike previous times there was no fixed rota with people just helping out as needed even if you were there to relax and enjoy being in little space.
Thanks to the various persons who bought, fixed and served food, loaded and unloaded the dishwasher, put on events that made things so enjoyable plus thanks to Suzy for organizing and Miss Green and Andi for finding and checking out the place.
As remarked upon in the main text, this time people really went beyond four walls in large numbers enjoying what the area around where we stayed had to offer both in ones and twos and even going as a group out, carpooling as necessary enjoying that time.
If coming to this place can have that effect, let me say this plain: Unless there's a good reason not to, let's return for another Winter because that wasn't just healthier for being outdoors, it brought people more together. This is what I feel we needed.
From a personal point of view this was easily the most rewarding Camp for not just being out but also for doing more challenging things such as getting about Clun Castle and walking to Ludlow and back being helped along the way.
It may of been difficult but your help doing this was so rewarding so to those who literally pulled me up and along helping me to do things I hadn't managed before many many thanks cos you can't know what that feels like.
Roll on Summer Camp.

Pre-Awaytime

The first thing to say is the next edition might possibly be delayed a day or so which does kind of tie into this weeks edition because I'll be away for a few days and by coincidence I only arrived 12 hours before this usually gets published so I may be low on spoons.
The trouble with being low on spoons is I don't have then the energy to do things.

The time will be pretty much divided by organized events like quizes and the more spontaneous things which will be more spontaneous than usual in that it's the very first time we've been to this venue so we don't for sure what's possible although one person in the group has kindly made a list of attractions and other places we could visit plus it's winter so may be okay for walks which I like or possible not with rain although one plus for me is it's less distance home than usual.
Now for the ahem painful bit which is to say I'm very much a girl under adult authority which basically means if I mess up it won't be just a scolding but highly likely to involve a well spanked or caned bottom too for which their won't be much sympathy cos I do have choices about how I act even if some aspects of my life are badly impacted by medical condition such as my amazingly bad short-term memory.
I mean I might well fail a 'memory test' of one was administered as I'm always forgetting stuff even with an hour or less of being reminded but am just as capable of blowing a raspberry and just refusing to co-operate as anyone else.
It may be odd but this life works better for me.

Welcome to the New Year

 

One begins a new year almost as it began with annuals for the year but at least some questions about the online world I do inhabit because the recent changes at Tumblr that I have talked about elsewhere do bring into mind the need to have this blog because I can only share it  privately with my BFF and at F.A which is a tiny audience for a not inconsiderable effort on my part to keep it fresh.

The same changes pose some long term questions around Tumblr and of my second account as most of people it was for are no longer around and part the reason for setting it up - being able to reference the odd minor unfriendly thing are no longer permitted.

The only account I really enjoy making  is my major Cglre sfw age regression which was the very first account I ever had and have partly remade because it's just that- a regressed spot- where I enjoy being a kid again even if the juvenile hi jinks of the odd person is an irritant.

The good news is it's no so far off first First Littles Camp of the year and we're already planning the Summer one which again is really more the stuff I need in my life than anything really adult and that makes me happier than just pounding at the keyboard.

Sometimes people don't get this thing with me, my liking of wearing things more akin to school uniform comes from the sense in which I am and visualize myself as that eternal child in the wrapper of a much bigger whole.

That whole directs me as that "eternal child" so for me everything I say and do comes from a childs space -littlespace- and so everything that happens within that is governed by what would be right for n actual child of my own era and so has nothing to do with adult services, d/s dynamics, sexual acts or thoughts and so on.

All relationships between adults and I are and remain at the paternal family parental level equating more to Parent/child than anything D/s.

It's not the hardest thing to say but a lot harder to get people to see it as it is and online the confusion leads to inappropriate following, comments and the like.

2018 review

Usually I write a bit of a review on this blog where I look at the year and where things look like they're going but I'm not so sure about that because of the recent changes at Tumblr  where I've spent a lot of my time appealing false nsfw flags and even falsely flagging an entire Tumblr.
It may be that one might go or even ultimately both do rather like in April Googles failed social media experiment, Google + goes for good and that does reduce significantly the target audience for this blog.
Something that looks set to stay is little space as in spending time expressly as a little in time spent with friends although we're set to test drive a new venue nearer to me soon because outside of all the other  stuff with me, politics around Brexit have driven me to limit so time switched off from it is a must.
It's something that oddly enough this Christmas I spoke with my younger brother with explaining why it was I had one present and which suprisingly he agreed and said that's why he models and makes things from kits and that. 
It seems for a variety of different reasons there are a good number of people taking a step out of adult concerns and instead playing even it has a 'adult disguise'.
I even looked very much little while with him saying what I did!
Something else something I don't talk about every week here and can no longer even hint at on Tumblr was part of reason this blog exists and why until things kicked off on Tumblr, there was a brief mention of is that spanking is a part of my life and a part of how of that was connected with April's  death of Susan it came back in.
That was because as I explained in last years post on her death, it was something we both talked in very open, frank, way about long before I met some of people who have been part of my life since  and some of those who accepting my need to be spanked as a little in a non sexual parental way have without fail met that need.
I am grateful for being spanked and for the first times since high school being caned for helping me realize where I was making mistakes and certainly teaching me lessons I badly needed.

One thing is for sure in 2019 being spanked and caned is very much a certainty for me because it is having the desired effect on me apart from making me feel very much that child subject to adult authority.
In that way despite personal losses, I have come on underlining why this whole combination of age regression incorporating era specific corporal punishment is so good for me.

The past moves as you go forward

On Monday October 8th, buried in a document around Google and Security written in very much positive language it was announced Google + was to be "Sunsetted" and by August 2019 gone.
When you strip it of that California Lab Talk, it means the service is to close but in an orderly way with it going on to say ways of saving and reusing content you created would be offered in time so no one would lose anything by that point.
The service began in 2011 originally on a invite only basis and I was able to get one via connections to a forum and this coincided with a group other people saying they wished to break from Facebook however they soon left it for the Facebook freebees.
So much for principals.
Instead ironically it became a anime/littles/lgbtqi friendly spot I shared with others posts, promoted my blog on, at the time played Candy Crush and other games onboard that site.
A kind of a playground for little me although initially  much of that happened on the slightly more grown up account I'd created for that other group


























Part of the reason that was possible while in other context that would be outing yourself as a little was down to circles which in the original form were like the above screen shot.
You made sets for specific groups and of themselves you could have any posts you made would only go to that Circle and no others unless you added other circles in or chose Public.
I could therefor send littles stuff groups of the like minded knowing the group who'd asked me to join wouldn't have to deal with posts by little me as they'd never see them.
It had a rapid take off but by around 2014 a good number of games had left and it was a poor third to Facebook and Tumblr.
This had lead to a redesign as a more pininterest like Communities push with people making community groups and joining and I made one on the original more groan up account but noticed even that started to lag when came to participation.
An API security breach affecting 500,000 users potentially in March this year lead to a review and sober heads decided it wasn't worth throwing a lot of resource at it trying to prevent this for the low usage.
In so far as my blog(s) go I'll put posts on each to cover, they are covered by RSS, Tumblr and certain sites to encourage people to bookmark/follow as that fulfils much of the function of posting blog links on a per week basis.
I haven't used it to post anything much for a good year or so so in some respects I had come to expect this decision but as it was a part of the path of my littlespace  I do feel a bit emotional over it.
It was after all until I joined Tumblr, my home.

R.I.P Susan

First off thanks two my two recent followers on this blog.
Secondly we're looking back this week at the life of a person who was an important part of my life recently.

Part of what lead to more exploration of this life of mine is tied up with someone, namely Susan who had MS that died Tuesday last and whose death I have been struggling with over the last few days.
They had a Grammar School education with a bias  toward the arts and humanities that showed itself in the breadth of general knowledge they had coupled with razor fast wit.
Like much of this side of my life it started out when I got online and I joined a site which is no longer with us called Experience Project was set up by a lot people with M.S. as a means of sharing experiences but it wasn't long people they moved beyond  M.S. and into all sorts of things that were in peoples lives.
It would of been around 2010 that I encountered user NaughtySusi around a period where I had looked at some sites connected around people whose lives are more like a child's but had a ton of issues with and I found groups she had joined and written stories and experiences connected around being a little and in particular around adults who relive their school days in various ways  such as restudying school subjects, the wearing of (traditional) school type uniforms and particularly here in the UK, those who do have a longing for and prefer to get school type discipline such as spanking that existed in state schools until 1987.
It was through reading these entries and corresponding through comments, messaging on site and later on email that we both explored our interests in all three and after a while, I was able to meet several people face to face on a site that was more around Adult Littles without  a constant backdrop of at the time very out of hand sexual content and contact by 'sissies'.
It was no accident the first time I met her and two other people I was dressed as a school girl because through a fairly austere upbringing and personal disabilities I wasn't given nor capable of going down the more frilled and pastelish pretty little girl side and at the first big gathering where I met a good many others including my second bestest friend I presented to them as that.
It wasn't long before I started to go to bigger meet ups and when I did until mid 2016, I was always with her and a n other staying with them before travelling down to where we all stayed for several days before returning and making my way back home.
One of their strong points was cooking and until retiring they had been a Meat Technician for a Butchers so she could turn any piece of meat into a delicious meal and on a number of occasions had cooked with the help of others full cooked dinners where we met up as it was self catering with a big kitchen area.
Another was their general knowledge which she put to good use in running quizzes at various events.
As I mentioned in this blog in late 2014 because of issues I was having around my attitudes and behaviours that lead to the resumption of spanking and parenting but this was a topic that initially both of us had talked of some years before which after a while I did openly show  my interest around having this as an 'adult'.
It wasn't long after we met up face to face that I actually saw first hand she had actually got it arranged that she was and while much took place in private, more lighter hand spanking and corner time was done in my company.
I began to feel that I wanted to experience this whenever I was with them and their friend not least because in many ways I was being supervised more like a child and so I plucked up the courage to broach the subject.
They formed an agreement to spank me with no exceptions starting very much as they meant to go on with a paddling, brought in more chores and contributing in my relationship with them and Susan took an interest in this understanding how much I badly needed it.
Given how much this helped to change things for the better  for me, this is something I am most grateful for her exploration and encouragement to have myself spanked for my own good.
In any relationship, there are always somethings you may not see eye to eye on and it is fair to say gender politics and devolution were two we strongly disagreed over and whereas I was for being more circumspect around giving opinions not requested, she was not. What you saw was what you got unwrapped up.
As time went by, it became more obvious to me at least, her MS was progressing as she felt more in discomfort, started to have more issues with balance, eventually requiring a electric wheelchair to get any distance.
Indeed in some respects the last big meet up she attended brought much of this into focus not being able to take part in the outdoor activities or those that required going upstairs and spending quite a bit of her time having a drink and the odd smoke (although she was cutting them down) whereas in the past she was involved more to the point of being able to go to nearby park and 'play'. I think while there she sensed that.
Telling she didn't make the 2016 Halloween meet up at her friends nor any of the subsequent events we normally attended although if I was at her friends she'd phone and talk with us such as at last years Halloween party.
As painful as this is for all of us who were in her life right now, I feel she's very much at peace and so its better to give thanks for the life she lived, her involvement in ours and personally for what she gave freely to me.
Thanks for being in our lives, Susan.
x

So true

Indeed  am a little am for real having been seen in the flesh by a good number of people  and most definitely proud.
Terms or indeed if there was a single term to describe what you might call an adult by age who doesn't feel adult, who shares many of the facets of a child not by acting but just spontaneous responses to everyday situations change and indeed at the start of this quest that began in actual childhood I didn't even know to describe this feeling of being younger than your years existed.
It can take differing presentational forms such adult baby/toddler, little or more of a school boy or girl form or even just on the inside with just regular adult attire on it's just a state of being that once you accept it is you really is the bestest thing.

Love and understandings in middle/little space

Sometimes the Sqynx has an effect that goes beyond their initial context such as an abdl comic where topics arise within a page and some discussion in its comments box  takes part to which I have post a few observations but as I didn't wish to put highly personalized ones in there I thought It'd set them out here instead.
When a person sets out in their little/middle age regressed to build not so much on being emotionally that person playing but in the return of those structures and relating patterns that more mirror those of child to Parent such as a "Caregiver/little" there can be a difference between your sense of needing and wanting it as that little and being ready emotionally for the 'rolling back' when it comes to having that final say and certain of facets such as wearing and using diapers or how you are to to present yourself in their company.
This is something that the Caregiver needs to be aware of, talking through respecting limits even if over time they may change not seeing this as a automatic disrespect issue between little and Caregiver and treated accordingly
This is something in a less structured matter of fact way is talked through  between those adults in my life who assume Caregiver roles and myself all the time so they know my limits and I am clear on what we have agreed on.

When in their company I am very much that little/middle and this is my relating style personified not least when there is any question as to my conduct to the as Caregiver(s) very much their 'child' to whom all this happens not just because it is the authentic me but because they love me so much that they enable that side to present and be acted on by them as that child.

As that 'child' they look after me with all those expectations and rules that I stand attentively  deferring to them as my adult authorities as they scold and spank me as they feel appropriate.

Sometimes it is hard for some to understand that actually that allowing me that space to be and present as little/middle me and this other side are connected but actually they are.

Their scolding and spanking me is a reflection their love for me, that they know I can do better and need to be corrected to move me on, the very same love that allows me to be little me.

My spanked bottom is an  a sign of that that we all should be glad of.

*Some comments on blog layout*
As you may of noticed if you are viewing this via a traditional laptop computer rather than a smartphone or tablet computer, the layout may look different this is because of two things, one I am unifying the layouts between my little/middle blog, the middles journal "That Boarding School Girl" and this, Joanne's Dorm, for improved legability and ease of finding things such as pages.
The second is technical which is the template width across the board for all three are now set at 1100 px where originally they were set at 860px because way back in the mid 2000's computer monitors had such smaller resolutions that also were square shaped and today most are at least 1366x768px or better widescreen.
It put simply looks less squashed up and cluttered.
The original Blogger 'Classic templates were limited to 860px but I changed the templates to newer ones a year or two ago.

Thoughts from Summer LG Camp Dorm

Sometimes this blog is more in sequence with its parent middles/littles slice of life one and there times when it's not but this is the Dorm side of Summer Littles Camp 2017, the account of my six days away so is best read in conjunction with it.
One of things around the main event of that period is because we just pay for venue as 'self catering' everything that we need we have to organize and to large extent make ourselves unlike say staying a hotel complex which both keeps the price reasonable and gives total exclusive access to the building and very secluded grounds so we can for that period be ourselves with our partners, caregivers and others as littles very openly.
To that end we have a chore list to which everyone including one Joanne has to keep to unless there are truly mitigating circumstances why you cannot do your stint to help ensure everybody pulls their weight, so for example on two occasions I set up for a dinner and one evening meal although the fall I sustained from the Sports Day activity meant I didn't do the other of two allocated evening meal setting ups and set up for breakfast.
In twenty-seventeen then Jo did not just accept someone covering for her one missed chore, thanking them but made up what she did not do with no fuss or prompting.
Equally when as it was getting toward time for our midday meal during the second arts and crafts session, with people drifting away although I was in pain with my aching back, I stopped behind helping the organizer everything up tidy up.

Having been verbally thanked for helping with that being told I was a good girl for being prepared to do this, I was presented with a stick on badge (pictured) for it.
In a similar vein I helped with the unloading, collecting together when we left  and unloading on return of the many things including sports equipment that made Sports Day possible for the person who looked  after me..
My attitudes and behaviour with them was very good  which can be shown by thinks like helping in making our meal on arrival, washing up, satisfactory setting a table when we arrived and I was tired and in discomfort including making the soft drinks for when they returned with our fish and chips.
I only needed a few brisk hand spankings for inattentiveness without good reason over my underwear just to sharpen me up the odd time which is extremely good as attitude and behaviour goes.
The Jo in twenty-seventeen is different from back in twenty-fourteen, that I think is the thing that is most apparent because that what I turned an deaf ear to whilst expecting to be told to help is becoming more the one who offers or even just does things without being asked.
It is because people have cared enough to reset what they expect from me that is within my abilities as painfully obviously limited as they are to much higher standards and to hold firm to them. It also has a lot to do with their preparedness to take me in my very child-like but adult form and spank me without fail when I fell short, letting myself and them down because it has made big improvement  since they started that and I feel more proud what I am becoming because it.

On relationships and life

While I was away this weekend an account of which can be found Here  I found myself thinking about the role of relationships in my life.
Relationships not least family ones have  played a negative part in my upbringing from distancing, not willing to get close to me or to encourage me to get closer, being more overly affectionate as well as a sense of suspicious  between family members that just corroded any meaningful sense of trust and security I ever had.
Living in a world where you always watched your back, where telephone conversations were bugged, people lurked behind doors listening in  and mail read took its toll on me even to the point I was writing or drawing stuff about it in my teens on correspondence and never kept a formal diary in case it was read which it would.
That's one of differences now cos I do but it's more online journalling it may be such as with my main blog an account of a day out or interests related or more about my moods and emotions cos it me understanding them and helps with having some record I can refer to.
One of the things that has altered for me now is how it is I am expected to co-operate and behave with other people and that's been a thing that's talked about here so when I was away I was expected to help with things such as setting the table, washing up and generally helping out.
I am also expected now to help in the kitchen with making whatever we are going to eat even if some tasks may be done for me because I am expected to use my abilities to contribute whatever my disabilities may prevent.
If I do something wrong that I know I shouldn't like trying to cut things on the top of the sink where I'd either mark it or risk injuring myself which I did, then I was spanked there and then for it to ensure I learn from it which I was
What I longed for as an adult little girl is the simple love and affection of a forever mother and father figure who will help me feel loved, wanted and secure so I can grow.
Was that too much to ask?
I think after thinking over how things have been not this weekends time spent with one who does looks after me the answer has to be no because they are actively engaged in making me grow, feeling secure but at same time prepared to discipline me.
It was and is what I truly needed.

Memory stick musings

I'm just getting on with writing up this blog over the weekend where I have been a bit low in spoons which happens at times with me.
Over the last week or so I've  been thinking a bit about the difference in where I am now and where I was at a good eight to ten years ago which may seem only like yesterday to me given how my brain is wired but actually is a significant amount of time.
For one thing, that was the post breakdown period with me where I hit the buffers trying to play a role I had been encouraged to by a lot of so-called disability experts who today I see as people who fundamentally were trying to deny the major part disabilities play in my life and to a large extent shape by denying the impact and in effect having me do slot into their idea of what a 'successful' disabled person was supposed to be - an achiever showing academic abilities despite disabilities rather than a person who is may well be capable but with significant functioning issues that require constant support.
The other stemming from the same place was they also denied how those limitations mean in terms of mental development, I was functioning several years younger having the overview, language and mindset of a more junior child at high school and several years further on at the same point but being expected to perform at an adult level.
This simply isn't and hasn't in a number of decade hasn't occurred because however good I may be at filling in some gaps, the larger ones remain and to an extent even the fact I do fill the minor gaps leaves me the more vulnerable because people focus on that 'achievement' rather than what I cannot cope with and why I struggle making my way through adult life and situations.
Another of the things around this period was discovering networks sometimes websites sometimes hubs and it was one these that caught my eye Monday when looking through a  memory stick with more of an eye to pictures of my old monitor and its Charmmy Kitty screen saver, I spotted some screen prints done off it from a site I spent quite a bit time on.
Yahoo 360 for the youngsters, was a giant hub where lots of groups had spaces on, you could message and blog and your blogs were interactive, you had a update stream from what your friends were doing  and at the time I was looking around  littles and Tg/'sissy' groups, talking with people, exploring that side of life which I enjoyed until it shut down around July 2009.
That lead to a blog being started *cough* to collate what old posts I originally had on Yahoo 360.
That was a part of my coping mechanism back then as I have been recently explaining a little to people about bringing life back into line with what actually works for me, what meets my actual needs not least the 'little' side of me cos not wishing to sound like a record it's not so much age play as being in an actual age regressed by anyone else's standards headspace without an off button.
One difference between now that period is the likes of Facebook, Tumblr and to a point Fetlife fulfill what we had circa 2007-9 with dedicate sites being more niche affairs and in some respects for me Tumblr fills the Yahoo slot although for more dedicated needs the likes of EE, FA, DDLG World and GT cover more group and have a better focus. Imho, Tumblr if it built in proper Communities support rather than groups who squabble of tag rights and alleged misuse of could easily be a total 2017 Yahoo 360 replacement.
The other is I do feel more stronger in myself to pursue the life that makes more sense and especially to ensure I'm in those settings that respect my real needs  being prepared to engage with me on the level I'm at, helping me to do what I can for myself while while accepting my child-like vulnerabilities prepared to just step in as needed to deal with any situations I land in.
That's come about through the baby steps I took through that period exploring my needs and making appropriate connections to communities where I really belong.
For me then the 00's were where it all came together,

This life and how it is yours

It is not for the first time that I noticed a schism across the wider community although the fact it is so  centred on Tumblr does not surprise me as ever since I joined originally in July of 2013 so the joy of seeing so many people with things in common has been heavily compromised by the sheer amount of drama between and within communities.
At the heart of it is tags and streams, the one area that makes tumblr different than say this blog because if you're anything like me you fire up your smartphone, chromebook or whatever, select Tumblr and the first thing you'll see is your stream comprising of the Tumblrs you follow, the obligatory rubbish promoted posts Yahoo added and any messages.
Tumblr isn't too fussed of itself about content so long that any blogs that is nsfw or adult are flagged and ideally if a blog is split say 99% sfw and 1% nsfw, you tag the nsfw posts as such.
Within the world of littles there has been developing a storm around two separate but partially connected things.
The first is one some of you will be aware of, under 18's interacting with adult blogs which can be safely regarded those that may feature or reference sexual acts, bondage and so on and that can include the dl of abdl.
There are two sets of concerns,  one is exposure to children of graphic material and by messaging, inappropriate contact by adults by which they are risk of serious harm by predatory adults and usually this potential contact occurs through false ages to which the best response is to report them.
The bigger more contentious question is around what I'll call littles tumblrs and under 18's.
At a more mundane level I'm what I'd call a realist in that provided a tumblr or any other kinda blog can be read without having to log into a service that *may* ask for some age verification then frankly  I know it'll be read by anyone under 18 who even if I block them will get around it by bookmarking it and signing out or reinventing their age if that's what they want. Only if I see someone is clearly under age and following a nsfw or adult blog would I act.
Only adult or nsfw blogs on tumblr are restricted to only being able to read by being logged in the so this blogs Tumblr nemesis is covered although frankly there's nothing on there than what might of been shown in some editions of pre 1988 Beano children's comic that even run a who do you want to whack competition with an image of someone with a cane pointing at a clothed bottom or the then Daily Mirror's Jane  cartoon strip when it comes to the depiction of spanking and nothing sexual.
To me, splitting that off on Tumblr make sense especially as even if you were over 18 and as a little you may not wish to see spanking images with your cornflakes!
Allied to this and in some ways something I find more troubling is the furore around non sexual littles blogs and how some littles communities are treating the people who publish them.
To recap on Tumblr's rules which are relevant so long as nothing that is adult or nsfw is published as general, then whatever is posted isn't by content breaking a rule.
If you publish a littles tumblr that say covers age regression such as plushies, dollies, cartoon characters, child-like attire and lego there is no reason why your  blog should be flagged because although you may be legally adult, there is nothing adult on there. Even mentioning Caregiver little relationships of themselves doesn't alter that.
This is where core of the  tag and labelling war on Tumblr is at.

Being a a little means in simple terms:
You 'feel' younger than your chronological years being atypical of your peers
Because of, your interests differ and *may* present more 'like a  child' in terms of attire
You may 'function' as a child
You may not be sexual necessarily although some are.
You may have or feel the need for a 'Caregiver'/Daddy/Mommy even if you do not have one
The above may not have any sexual role with you as a little
You expressly are NOT a pedophile nor is any Caregiver as you have no sexual interest in children.

It depresses me to even have darn well type that because that  is what two Tumblr communities of littles DO NOT accept.
On the one hand we have the Kink people saying all people who say  littles must be sexual because their community uses and in their opinion owns the term and all Caregivers must be sexual or at least  kink centred.
We have another interesting group, a mirror image Chire, who basically say the same and add anyone in Cg/l is automatically kink, they oppose kink and try get your super squeeky clean age regressive tumblr flagged and ban you from reblogging any of their folks Tumblrs.
(Chire apparently means Childlhood Regression and appears to be aimed those who use age regression as coping mechanism for trauma or mental illness )
That's cos they say they alone are the nonsexual age regressive community and anyone in Cg/l  who say they same is flat out lying and littlespace is inherently sexual so they send threats to you and even this morning I was sent a link to a hardcore porn blog by one just to try and 'trigger' me.

That opinion is  news to me as for as long as I've been since  past two paws worth of age I've been clearly and at times embarrassingly obviously to some younger than my peers and for period I've looked up this way way before social media came along the terms littles, caregiver etc were not owned exclusively by the bdsm community (caregiver was the term used for a person aiding usually a younger disabled adult) or any other.
For me this whole thing about being a little is that opportunity, that space to be as I am not having to pretend really grown up I can just express myself in. That space you get into when you do is littlespace and what's in there isn't inherently sexual at all.
Having a caregiver simply means you have someone who helps you when you are in that space and in dealing with any thing you may struggle with providing guidance, reassurance and if agreed as with me, discipline.
For people like me who are into non sexual regression, that's the end stop, so in a lot of respects that person is more Parental with you, treating you with the same care and same paternal instincts that a parent would of a actual child.
Frankly it's a must in my life making it more bearable, meeting my needs not least those of actual disabilities  and yet these people choose to paint a different picture on it.
I know what communities I belong in, I do not need people to define me out of spaces and I belong in Cg/l and the subset Cglre (Caregiver/little regression only) that merely signified it is nonsexual regressive caregiver little. I have no issues with people at all who have a sexual side in their relationships because they keep what is intimate to them, just that in much of same sort of way as if you had an older sibling they were going out with someone  certain stuff would never happen in view of you at home.

That 'in front of  you' I feel is the real and genuine issue on places like Tumblr so it may be as well to have separate blogs for anything that might be seen as 'adult' enabling people to choice  which they follow and can be flagged to help keep under 18's away too. I don't honestly feel there is any need to keep them away from a purely regressive Tumblr but would agree any Tumblr that was 'adult' or nsfw should mainly because of the messaging side as much as I would some concerns over content.
Obviously in so far as meets go, that's with organizers most of which would stick strictly 18 plus not least because of licensing and the risks of sexual contact with minors and any comeback from it.
The idea that Caregiver/little relationships are inherently sexual is just ridiculous.

Past childhood into new adult-childhood

In some ways this post is a complementary post to this post The return of the original Famous Five  on Monday's  regular blog really because reading is a part of my regression, a getting back to my natural child-like state that puts me in Little Space as such as it is about maintaining my limited ability to read and from that to learn about new things and new words.
Sometimes people argue about  you can't have parts in your Little Space that are not of the era you were brought up in as if they are not emotionally an authentic part of you so that if say you were brought up in say the nineteen fifties, you cannot have plushies or have say books from other eras.
In my regressed world you can add some things into it so say dollies can be complemented by say a Care Bare or Hello Kitty Plushie because it's function and utility to is the same, you play with it, it comforts you as hold and hug it as the inner child you are.
In much the same way to read say the books of Jacqueline Wilson is a part of understanding a part of contemporary childhood with the objects and experiences our age in it, that can aid me understand more of this age I'm travelling through as the hybrid adult-child I am.
The core though is very much routed in era I was brought up in not least the extent to which the stories I read or were read to me reflected the social norms around us even though things were and did change over time and in that context re-writing them so much of the social structure is missing but the dialogue sounds dated even for those of us who lived through the nineteen seventies and eighties just muddles it all up.
One might as well say for arguments sake have " Noddy goes to school" re-written by (insert editors) based on a story by Enid Blyton  as miss out the whole section when in the class room a slipper is hanging by the chalkboard and when a child is naughty, is instructed to fetch it but hesitates, Noddy (trying to be obliging and not realizing what it symbolizes) says "I'll fetch it for you miss!" because that was just how it was like in the first year of Infant school where we got a few spanks in front of the class as we all learned school discipline as a class.
Such things were and are part of the authentic emotional sense of the inner-child me tapping into my experiences and to part of how we were brought up and part of Caregiver to little re-parenting.
Consider this quote:
 
"Big-Ears the goblin was always on the look-out for anything he could take. Sometimes it was an apple off a barrow, or off somebody's tree. Sometimes it was a biscuit from the counter of Mr. Butter the grocer's and sometimes a few flowers from a garden.

He was too clever to be found out, which was a pity, because a good spanking would have done him a lot of good, and might have stopped his bad ways. But nobody ever spanked him or locked him up for a night, so Big-Ears grew worse and worse. "

 It's from the "Hi Feather-tail!" Noddy story in Enid Blyton's Sunshine collection where clearly we are talking about teaching Big-Ears right from wrong from an early age in they way that was the norm then. No 'but they have (insert) syndrome so they can't help it and there is an implicit idea that it's the adults who are to work on managing your behaviour so you learn to however difficult it may be. You learn social limits, not be exempted from them.

It is very relevant because truthfully I had the same traits as Big-Ears, was pretty good at not being found out so my behaviour had gotten worse and worse in my hybrid adult-child life and why it is spanking has been put back into it, to re-parent me in the way we were expected to so so adult-child me learns to conform.

Or take the following exchange from Claudine at St Clare's one of six novels in the St. Clares girls boarding school series Enid wrote:

"If I wasn't in the fourth form I'd give you the hardest spanking you've ever had in your life, Angela. A good spanking would be the best thing you could have."

"Nobody has ever laid a finger on me in my life."
The first person speaking is Carlotta, the wild ex circus girl who is a Prefect and that is Angela's  retort.
 This like the other quote has now been removed from current editions on sale  but it rings very true in that Prefects and Head Girls did have that delegated authority with one threatening me with quite a spanking if I was caught smoking in school.
It also had to be said, it wasn't just them that did, so did teachers.
My work for a period had fell from  mediocre at best level - my school reports are a source of shame -  to that of not paying any attention and failing on several occasions to complete homework with clear warnings so I was kept back one lesson by my Geography Mistress Miss Thomson who took me into a store room and gave me a quite hard spanking because she felt it was what I needed as I was at risk of flunking my upcoming final examination. It was the best thing that happened to me because I actually passed it even though my work was usually poor and my other grades were up.
That was the kind of thing that was not so much the core plot but very much in the background of those stories I loved by Enid Blyton such as the girls boarding school  Malory Towers, St. Claire's series and referenced in the Famous Five.
For being there you got more of a feeling of how each character felt, empathizing with them in their situations that you also knew of that either wholesale deletion of a paragraph or  replacing the word with a say scolding doesn't work because expecting a scolding feels different than say expecting a spanking.
What happens is therefore more believable for being set with the social expectations and sanctions of that very era where pretty much everything else is at odds with Twenty-first century  Britain anyway.
It is in the form of novels, a depiction of the world that in the past I was brought up in so in their attempt to render a depiction of the past in terms that are seen as 'right on' so-called 'politically correct' is in so may ways a tampering with our recollection not just of these texts and how they they were a part of our lives but also of our recollection of the world as it was as that child around seven to thirteen as we lived it.
Grown ups are more than entitled to debate the rights and wrongs of our era (although a return to that era's values and sanctions is helping me no end) but in airbrushing the world we knew, they are not simply disrespecting us who loved reading these books at the time, enjoying re-reading them later in life, they fail to give a basis to explain to newer young readers the difference between now and then, muddling up the past.