A loss

 I'm not at my best this week and in a way it goes back to the day before I went away for a few days where unbeknown to me or for that matter to all of us, a person we've known for a good number of years after a period of infection and covid had died.

Personally, I had encountered them in January of 2011 after a period of been an active member of one web site, falling out of favour with both content and especially accompanying ads, upon looking for a better site for "littles" I filled out an online application to join one they ran.

By 2013 as I became more established with that site and its members I first encountered them face to face at a party get together one person had laid on and in time I learned about their knowledge of astronomy and things connected with running websites such as coding.

Of course the big thing was the Littlest which was their love of being a little, dressing in pretty dresses not dissimilar to younger girls, their love of just playing and dolls and they often brought swings to extended get togethers that we all played on.

If you can picture a "girl" in a gingham dress not uncommon in British schools in summer just smiling as you're swaying back and forth on that swing then you'll get an idea of what the sorts of things they did meant to me.

The last time I saw them would of been this time last year at a get together as they and their partner had missed this summers.

R.I.P Debbie 

Changed plans

Things for early next month were going to be different in that what had been an institution in the last decade that had been put on hold for personal reasons - the Ikklescape Picnic in the Home Counties - after 2017 were to resume and indeed I had expressed the view I was very much looking forward to attending.

Sundays on the railway are always a funny thing going back to and in part the reason to the days where anything beyond Monday thru Friday was seen as irregular and so people on the railways were never "rostered" just paid more to work on days off even if it was a fairly popular day for travel.

This tends to mean there are less trains running and often starting later plus engineering work tends to be scheduled just to add chaos so a train is replaced with a bus which is often slower.

Seemingly the train I was to have caught while listed in the current timetable of one operator had been changed by another after publication so rather than starting in Manchester, going to Crewe and then on towards Birmingham now went straight from Manchester, Stockport without stopping at until Stafford missing this area out completely.

Given we needed to at this event for around 1 pm and it was three hours drive just north of Birmingham, I needed to be there by no later than 10 and next train would of got their just before 11 which was far too late.

Thus I had to cancel my plans for it as there was no way an overnight stay on the Saturday would fit with someone else's arrangements.

On friendship

Here we go again seeing white rabbits as we enter a new month and so start with our first one of July.
Talking as one does often lead to my mind thinking about things that may not of been at the centre of attention  but around the edges.

This was one thing that was revolving around my mind the other day cos we all seem to have different ideas of what a friend is or isn't wherever we happen to be.
For me one important part of being a friend to someone is the extent to which I feel emotionally connected to them and with them, that's to say we feel for each other  in ways that go beyond general sympathies.
Another is that you share a lot in common with that person seeing at least some parts of you in them although you are your own person, both the good points and the bad.
You do have differences but you learn to accommodate them because what you have in common counts for more.
You can argue with them because you care passionately about them and their well-being but you respect boundaries, always making up afterward. When you do that your friendship hasn't lessened-it's grown deeper.
The amount of true friends can be counted on one finger rather than the number of followers on Facebook and Tumblr because they're just acquaintances.
You sure would share the last thing you had with them.

Rest day edition

Hi and for readers in the States happy labour day.
I'm a bit late getting this blog entry started not least with being poorly for quite a bit of the week and then busy with other things like the resumption of schooling on G.I., doing some background work for an activity toward next February Camp I'll be doing and so on.

It's a time a time of year associated with last minute return to school purchases such as pens and geometry sets through to school uniform which the recent closure of all BHS stores in the UK reminds me of as that was the first store where the whole pull toward buying actual items of uniform for me came from and it has to be said the quality of their stuff was very good.
I can remember buying lots of stuff around  this time not least long  socks and it would survive pretty much the heavy washing routines at home well
I am doing some tidying up tm stuff at various sites altering layouts, changing the odd avatar to spruce it up and help make using it for me a fun thing as with lots of sites you really have pick just a few you can be active on and given the changes that have occurred over the last year that's one thing I'd like to resume in a measured way.
I like to stay in touch with people who care about me more like my BFF and next best friend at FA rather than feeling everything's been dropped for those that are really keeping me just for themselves cos surprisingly enough I'm a social creature.

Going forward

Not long before next weeks big event here so here's the post before the last which in some ways at least is connected .

 I recently saw this motivational piece of art a few weeks back and I feel it's kind of apt really not least with me, working with one person to assist me and having a bit to do with others who are working on things that hold us back be it unhelpful attitudes, perhaps learning the 'wrong' lessons from our past experiences or struggling with organizing life.
 Sometimes it's easy to go with easy, to think that the only things to do are just fun things and rely perhaps more than is good for you on others, ignoring the things that others may have gotten their heads around.
But it's never a all or nothing situation as being 'on the move' puts you ahead of those who aren't and as hard as the last two months have been for me making changes, living with rather more accountability than I'm used to, I am making progress which makes it all worthwhile, not least feeling calm enough to do things that have bad memories for me.
Thanks.