Being...you

After last weeks emotionally draining post and thanks for your comments we're now trying to recover from severe cramp in the left leg which is making getting about difficult trying to avoid awkward positions and putting too much weight on that side.

Yesterday was a more schoolgirlie kind of a day here as irritating as it is when you suddenly discover when you see a blue van with white logos turn up someone else ordered something they failed to tell you all about and it won't fit in the letterbox either so the white perline socks and that are now going by seen by at least one muggle if not everyone in your part of street!

That said what I have on feels right on me which in view of last weeks post and the odd one before is a good thing not that I think you should reduce what you wear to the point you're a walking Avatar, permanently in just one rigid role.

The last weeks very low temperatures a super frilly satin dress really wouldn't of been the best choice for going out in the wind shopping in - you'd die of exposure in both senses of that expression!

I never did psychology classes although I have read a bit around it being interested in what makes people what they are and how different communities differ, economics, public administration and politics was more my thing at the time.

It sometimes seems to me in that whole attempt to find you we lose ourselves in the pack we join while exploring that trying too hard to fit in in every respect and yet can we and still be our authentic selves?

Perhaps we myself included need to teach ourselves to just be us going out and living it?

Our Gender Identity is real...

Peoples sense of identity is important to them and many of us have multiple senses of them such as national or region affiliation,social class especially in this country where you seldom escape elements for long as good as moves toward meritocracy have been in the last sixty or so years have been and the improvements with being able be more open around your sexuality even in last fifteen years have been immense.

We are still struggling with respect for an individuals right to have their sense of gender identity respected both within families and also in the institutions of the state.

We all have the right to be as we are.

Presenting

It's been a while since I said anything directly around presentation and the opportunities thereof so while I nom my Hello Kitty Easter Egg today and outside of chat I may not be around much tomorrow btw,  I thought I'd type this.
It is very tempting if you are either transgendered and/or an adult little girl to look at how other people may be presenting and maybe compare in your own mind them..
For those who are both transgender and alg these may cover such things as how much time you are 'out' in your grown up version (what I call "your big") and how much you're in your little side.
Some who (and with apologies as I loath labels) are more "transvestite/cd" may have their little side as the trans only side so won't have a big in the same gender as their little.
For me assisted by ill heath so effectively out of the workplace, I'm generally presenting in little mode - a dead ringer for the girl in this weeks picture - outside of visiting the general store etc and yes, it's what I feel most comfortable as. It also helps that Mommy can live privately with it (she's seen me in alg mode) to whereas there are issues around presenting as 'big me' (Androgynous is accepted, anything obviously feminine isn't).
If you're working then you may well be constrained by your employers dress codes (although you may get away wearing the odd thing that's IK) and what your co-workers can tolerate. As far as I'm aware dressing alg/ik in work isn't protected in law and may be seen as a disciplinary matter although it's better for them to give you a Warning first rather just firing you.
For those who are transgender who for their own reasons are still living with partners, the opportunities to express either 'big' or little may be constrained particularly if they have visitors.
For everyone it is going to be different and the important person in this is YOU.
Around presenting as adult little girls go, unless you're really into online video chat your time presenting at home will be a solitary one outside of our favourite sites.
Your options for presenting out of doors may be restricted by public visibility of your garden so your best options may well be attending an alg camp where you can socialize and generally have fun with others  or going maybe in 'everyday' attire out together to a show or a picnic which will enable you to put a name to face and maybe learn more about the people you encounter online.
Unfortunately presenting as school kids in public such as being in a park will only lead to police or public attention.

The LB years - LB into LG ageplaying and adult girlhood

This whole blog like its other has a Core Memory that simply cannot be expunged from me, my past and my life,  being  positioned as a boy socially growing up, and how that links to my expression today as little, the little girl I was but was mispositioned, the boy form she had to be presented as and in the little girl form I express myself - as an adult little girl.

For me what I learned was regression started early as I always felt much younger and by the onset of teens clearly wasn't one and from time to time I would try dressing as a more junior boy although as time moved ontrying to live with a suppressed girl and wanting my Junior life enveloped in by got messy.
On truth though, the only real difference was the wrapper, I felt like a girl dressed as a boy just give a boys name and with people looking for boy expectations from me although I was more at one with the Tomboys than missing forests of lace and frills.

Really the girl in the other wrapper, a traditional pinafore dress, is the realized me taken out her shorts and boy uniform and put in the Girls but it is the same me, same attitudes and critically carrying the same core memories.
The Little Boy life I had IS the life the Little Girl had and experienced
 When it comes to ageplay then, I show my little side in girl presentation although the little side that comes out is from that dressed as a boy past.

The spanking I had positioned and dressed as a boy, with my shorts and underwear taken down

Is the same as I have now dressed in girls attire with my dress pulled up and my knickers taken down for the exact same reasons.
School based role play is something that was always on my mind and if I'd of not been  transgendered would I of done school based role play with caning, like I was brought up with?

Yes!

And would I accept today role playing school girl dressed me being bent over and caned across my knickers?
Yes!
Because it's all the same and the corporal punishment I received  from those adults like Teachers helped me and it's that I so want back in my life as a little even though rather than wearing the shorts I wear a dress (or a pleated school skirt) now

Trans

Imagine one day you were strolling along  having had some serious doubts about your life and this conversation started.

I could of given that answer having been wearing off and on female clothing since the age of 8, raiding the clothes in the wash and stuff due to go to refuse. That's because it's how I see me. Simples.

Well, I am a magical girl through that transformation.
I have always considered myself to be transgendered from the get go with many significant grown ups seeing the girl in me. Because of the effects from this mis-mash of male body (and expectations) and female self image my behaviour was somewhat effected having issues with self confidence, attempted self harm and near enough a nervous breakdown, I was under a psychologist for a period who picked up on my transgenderedness (though they didn't use that word then) but my folks can't accept this.

Following a periodic outbreak of cross dressing in adulthood, I resolved five years ago to do so on a daily basis because it was me and I felt I was beginning to understand the real me.

I am proud to be what I am.