Challenges and stuff

As this is being typed a number of things do happen to be on my mind right now one being the loss of a friend in this life for some 15 years although I had seen things about them for a couple of years before, probably as cause of death hasn't been determined from complications following a health incident in early Spring this year.

Indeed we'd been expecting them and partner to our Easter party but learned they could not make it before they went to hospital for a period. 

They tended to organize things although organizing the group was often more "cat herding" and theirs was a voice you could hear across three fields at times but in the end they did stuff that others might of left and sometimes remind people about proprieties when out in public as, let's be honest some don't understand and can easily be misunderstood especially in this age of instant communication

Some of their conversations did influence me although their more puffed out frou frou dresses  with forests of petticoats wasn't me as that when into what is often called "Little Girl" dressing and they had a love of dancing where wearing 50's outfits really looked great although famously I have two left and wobbly feet.

Elements of Little Girl dressing were part of this blog as much as elements crossed into forms of more Sissy dressing although they themselves were not and that has been an influence in restoring the balance of this blog toward looks and life rather than an ouch a week.

While dealing with her death, I did read this annual from 1964.

Partly because back then roles were different and in some ways their take on girlhood is really more use to me than the less overly feminine ways of today and also back then you weren't an adult until you reached 21 which is near actual development of the human brain.

It's more interest centred unlike being all about quizes, cartoon strips and stories that publications for younger girls tended to be about such as equestrianism 

It's a bit like this.

As well there are features on the history hats and which was worn when, sports and personal care.

Something I can usefully absorb and over time use to shape my own sense of being this gurl.

Why not be a Brownie in spirit?

Some years I have put out a post around scouting simply because the sights and smells of Summer and the activities tie in so much to my experiences to the point it brings it all back in all the complications being me involves.

At one level the basic complication is just which section of the movement my little side belongs and today while girls can join scouts which has now totally ceased to be a boys thing, girl guiding is still for girls although they do accept those who medically might be boys but seeing themselves as girls are living as girls.

Given I don't  my identity issues not so much identifying as a girl any more than a boy that leaves me and those like me out in the cold.

Fortunately in the new-old world as a age dysphoric sissy, I can side step much of that and follow the basic rules and principals of guiding which are not so dissimilar to cub so for what would be more den or ceremonial purposes go with a wither wearing a brown skirt or adopt a suitably sized traditional brownie tunic but wear grey short trousers when hiking.

What Brownies is about is set out well in this illustration from a 1980's Brownie guide book you'd have when you joined

You may not see much emphasis on it today but Brownies did deal with the issue of looking after you nails, so they are short, attractive but not done in way that has as many ridges from bites than mountains!

As a sissy nail care does matter and doesn't it make sense to talk about it anyway?

As in Cubs, you EARN badges but where you put them differs and you need to sow them on so this handy little guide from the era of the classic brown tunic helps.

Exploring with your very own little canopy above you, looking out for all the mammals, birds and insects around you wasn't that what you loved to and you can today, having adventures.

That's why I've readopted this bit of past as being part of full and now open me.

The random thoughts of a gurl

 

I wasn't too great on Friday as standard for long does nothing for my twisted spine but it had recovered by Sunday so apart from starting a bit of work on a quiz - I start on paper and then go to Google Docs in the Chromebook - I have dressing more like my frilled self minding the strange habits of some couriers  for coming at all hours and leaving your stuff anywhere.

I also realized that it has been a while since I had a Kindle app although in the 2010's I did have several kindle books so I did get that sorted and reading from my Amazon account often things around trans or littles interests.

Talking Amazon it's trying to push me towards Amazon Prime Unlocked by blocking any other way of buying and paying for postage which is frustrating as I'm not a big viewer of any kind of screen based entertainment and these days you're not guaranteed free post with Prime - it's all about Prime TV offerings.

No to sip the milk and cuddle up to the plushies.

Gurls bedroom edition

Hello readers. I'm feeling better today compared with last week which was painful to put it mildly so I thought I write something.

You know I think I owe you all a debt of gratitude really - honest I do - because whilst being pawley I remembered there were things I'd sooner be doing.

Then you see you  reminded me of something that was I had buried things like dolls I've never played with or put up and I wanted to wake up to that!

 'Stamps feet saying "I'm a little gurl, I want my dolls, teddies and awfully cute things out" ' so with that plus a bit of help, I removed stuff I no longer needed  and the process found two completely unopened dust covered  boxed dolls that just for once someone had kindly bought me for Christmas.

Anyway, I had a magical two hours playing with the white porcelain doll pictured that the manufacturers called Daisy but while sat down on my knees in my charcoal grey skirt and named her Louise after a dear school friend and made a space so when I wake up in the mornings I can see her without moving .

While I was at it those unwanted things were moved for a charity collection and I put up some Hello Kitty posters instead covering the door with stickers of her too for good measure.

I also renewed some of my sock collection for something more frilly and lace detailed as always liked that sort of things but struggled with pulling tights up and found stockings with suspenders very fiddly while the so-called hold ups well didn't on me.

Like you're forever pulling them up.

This are so much better with skirts and dresses.

Before I forget, thank you all for reading last weeks entry as I noticed an awful lot of you did when I saw the statistics today.

Btw It's okay to comment on my blog if you wish or even follow it!

Transitional arrangements

Great isn't? The combined fibre/telephone service has been dropping out this week so phone calls "dropped" mid flow and refreshing on sites was problematic apart from the usual click here and get an infection things presently taking advantage of the FUD (Fear, Doubt and Uncertainty) with the impact of online legislation.  

Still the good news is I'm rediscovering bits of the past that got chopped and changed on the blog over the years and one was I did have an interest in wearing proper maids attire and indeed at one point so wanted to work as one.

Can't say if that'll come back but it was something I did enjoy.

You can't escape the past though, and I've been through some rough patches like while I was in my teens I went rolling down a hill backwards in a motorized scooter scaring the heck out of everyone (and probably myself too) when I made a big mistake involving gradients that could of been fatal.

Talking of the past, I was reminded of things from the past while reading a few tumblr blogs where that realization at time I always seemed to want to present different to peers from time to time and the tension between their ideas and mine.

This sort of presentation was what I liked around the middle of decade that kind of got the "and she's wearing that!!!" looks but in context I just love gothy meets kittenish looks beyond school girl atttire and god knows school girls have more than one look for after school!

That was the thing and maybe I'll return to that.

Knickers

The everyday may assume a role that is less obvious to some and in my life it is that the type of underwear is determined, a part of this whole rolling back as part of the uniform I'm expected to wear. They do happen to full fitting, hardwearing  and comfortable which is a benefit.

My knickers are very much involved in disciplining me because that all happens in uniform and there are certain  set rituals.

The start point for most of this is my skirt or dress being raised to show them clad on my bottom which is embarrassing.

It's not uncommon for any implement to be used over them initially and while they are doing that they my pull my knickers into the back of my bottom to see how my spanking or caning over them is going as you just stay their letting them examine it.

There is time nearly always when they do come down and you might be ordered to take them down or even off

More usually though I have to stay still as they pull them down to deliver a second set of spanks or strokes of the cane right on my already in pain bottom to make sure I really get the message.

The loss of authority I feel through this is so intense.

One thing no one has tried on me yet is making me wear diapers and pretty crinkling pair of plastic pants as a form of humiliation  based punishment and generally treating me more like a baby.

Going away and Inspection time

Thoughts this week have been a bit more about the upcoming week toward the end of July and what to take as the case is relatively small, has to dragged by me so unlike some I can't take a whole minivan worth of dresses and all matching accessories.

What can fit more efficiently within the case tends to win out so traditionally I tended not to pack slippers as they take more surface area preferring slipper sox.

As my older pair had got a bit worn out, I have new official Sanriotown thick ones featuring Miss Kitty (D.C to you) with non slip pads on the soles which will help given the accident I sustained last February.

It's a bit early for any reliable weather forecast but if it warm to quite hot I will most likely pack my satin with lace frills night dress which wouldn't be just probably more comfortable given I'd be in the top of the property but also I so much prefer to wear more overly "girlie" attire where practical when I'm away.

It's not uncommon even mid term to read some story around school uniform rules being breached or even changed covering School Uniform  items and how it's to be worn.

As is the case even now, the length of ones skirt, or the skirt portion of ones pinafore is something that's taken seriously to avoid immodest displays shall we say and this cartoon shows one method of ensuring compliance.

I can remember well a college lecturer explaining how every so often her Mom would have her kneel on the ground to check her pinafore wasn't too short.

As the cartoon text illustrates growth spurts could lead to situations when some fitted them better than others.

While there are no formal rules while away, a certain decorum is expected around others and definitely no "flashes" of underwear and the like