Learning your lessons the hard way

 

 

The kind of scenario every adult little girl can relate to as she is very much put in her place.

*Done in Opera Browser

Covid and I

Within the last couple of weeks, there's been a number of things that normally would of happened such as going to friends for a Halloween party bash for littles where we can play, make things like lanterns and finish off with a big bonfire that haven't happened thanks to covid that took out summer LG camp for good measure.

It may not of helped with us going into Lockdown 2.0 again on November 5th in England but even if we'd of stayed within the tier system, the venue was in a Teir 2 high one as all of Staffordshire and my district was so meeting up in houses overnight was out of the question.

I am struggling pretty much with this pandemic - I'll admit it - with the uncertainty about when and even if it will be over anytime soon, frequent rule changes and changed routines in the shops and even in travelling.

One example of how much even the mundane has changed is on two occasions of getting things on Ebay, I've had messages to say the people were now self isolating so there would be delays until they were better before things could be posted out.

Then there was a major outbreak in one sorting office nearby that resulted in industrial action delaying mail.

Then one relative contracts covid from working in a Care Home but is recovering and then only this Saturday I am phoned to say my Aunt is in bed laid up with it too.

Thus you really begin to wonder when it is gonna end. 

Remaking the past

As I remarked several posts ago to be mentally in the space of a schoolgirl isn't to say you permanently just do lessons and wear school attire such as a formal school uniform all day long because in that life you had other things too.

It's an element of the whole adult schoolgirl thing that does put me off in someways because while to them there's the fantasy element it's neither based on the whole reality of that time and for me it's that having age dysphoria I am that child still whatever my birth age may say.

For me then outside of things like formal uniform when doing lessons or 'in your best' with a caregiver wearing more casual attire like shorter skirts  such as skater skirts but with knee and ankle socks rather than tights in the way that you did back then makes more sense.

Having the right to be the ALG you are

 

One thing that does rather hack me off is the tendency of some LG's to push frilly dresses and skirts as the only way to be an adult little girl to the point that sometimes they just let up trying to get you into them.

Not every girl even when officially young, is really into frills or for that matter into dresses either because they simply don't see them as them or because they are more active in play and so like to wear dungarees or shorts not least in mixed company.

To me as that adult little girl it is just the same and I like to wear shorts not least if I'm out walking cos it's more practical but from time to time one of them will really press me on it and yet we all know actual biogirls who don't and to whom it's just accepted.

Just what is the problem???

It's Halloween soon and so I'm just ready for it having had more than enough of this Covid business.
 

We need FUN!

Dealing with Age Dysphoria for me

After last weeks talking about the current health emergency we return to an important part of what this blog is about.

Although I've travelled certainly from early days of finding CG/l on tumblr, getting to know people in it in person, to the formation of age regression communities as it became obvious the start point of CG/l wasn't where I was from even if some elements within the lifestyle did fit, even truthfully it seems age regression isn't really the right term for where I am act and I do feel Age Dysphoria is more accurate because it is about being permanently that child 'in the head' rather than regressing back to it.

For me a part of being that eternal child is around seeing them in the mirror so how I look as a child does align with the child I am to reduce the dysphoria between how I am and being seen as a adult which I'm not (other than law saying I am).

Thus for me dressing more in the manner of a girl of my era does come into it so I do wear simple girls dresses made from gingham, pinafore dresses as beloved of schoolgirls back then as well as skirts or for playing in, shorts which can be less revealing in mixed company.

As far as is practical given personal needs stepping out of the adult arena really is a must.

The way I'm handled too needs an approach more from that past such as standing in the corner in silence to encourage me to think about my actions rather than anything that might happen in an adult setting because from the inside I am child first and always.

The combination of the two would look more like this.

Simple sanctions from my era apart from stopping any actions dead in their tracks also take me out of any adult zone so to be a space with your favourite unicorn for company in the corner, possibly facing a spanking is really right, the very thing we had then and nothing to do with adult kinks.

Going back down to the start

 It's been a week of decisions of sorts  most of which ties into things we have talked about on here before one being this pandemic.

It is hard to believe we were only about two months ago pushing for getting people back into offices and allowing this years 18 year olds start their university degree courses mainly on campus and yet this week much of this is upside down.

It seems to me as if we're playing a big game of snakes and ladders as allow both of things seems to have upped infection rates to the point we're going back down the ladder to quite severe restrictions in some instances.

Liverpool and surrounding areas are set to be on lockdown in all but name just as we were at the beginning where I am on the High medium level tier unable to have anyone come see me at home, supposed to avoid peak time travel and unable to sit at a table in restaurant with a family member.

Actually there is very little covid here at all because by a quirk of political map drawing we are drawn in on a map that has the top part next to a area that has a high infection rate next to a major city while ignoring the fact this is part of another city's travel to work area where it is very low where we shop, work and socialize.

This means that even if the Halloween Party and Bonfire had gone ahead which the organizer of had announced had been cancelled, I could not of stayed indoors there.

Their county is exempt from any special measures unlike mine even though two out of three districts neighbouring it are on the same middle High tier as I am which goes to show the flaw in this approach - they are not going by where people live, work, shop and socialize only the political units that have different reasons for being lumped together usually based on petty political battles between individual towns.

Thus I can rule out having any family members come see me at Christmas and seeing my friends this side of 2021 and even then some are saying this will last until June of that year.

I think we'd of all gone stark staring bonkers with massive amounts of anxiety and mental health issues by then not least from people facing losing jobs and homes.

Covid is serious but not the only major issue we're facing.

 

Guides for Jo?

There are times when I tend to think about the "what ifs" as much as I hold with not having regrets about how life has turned out over the years.

Within this life there is the eternal schoolgirl, the one as this blog puts it is in "Jo's Dorm" but as a chance overheard conversion with some schoolboys earlier on in this lockdown remarked as they went they had more in that label.

For me the act of presenting as the forever schoolgirl Jo has involved a lot of things such as wearing school uniform, doing some actual studying and being subject to the kind of school discipline of my era.

I do feel though that as they boys said about themselves there's more in those identities like the interests you have and it's not of you are always a child - some use the term Age Dysphoria" to describe it  - the case it's all school.

I think something like a form of Girl Guides experience given obviously it could never be with their official organisation with the activities, oversight and uniform with in a week would be something I would look forward to, working to similar goals.

With me it's never been about just the academic, just being an autistic girl means you find social interaction awkward and the associated things make following instructions difficult so a mixture of outdoor stuff, practical activities and some life skills  based around past programs.

Given the Brown Owl of my era could smack then there's no reason for me while with someone who was being her not to use it the odd time rather as a few are wont to do just to use things like school or guides as theme for spanking role play in ways they just were not in that era.