1989 round up

Just relaxing a bit this morning after a rather busy Monday as I type this weeks entry up trying to avoid political back and forth as two be honest I don't feel the two main parties really have much of a clue on how to tackle the current main issues.

Anyway two years after general election a few decades back was really when much of this really started to come together having realized I hadn't really left school even if definitely walked out of the gate when during a period between jobs I was at a careers advice appointment when looking through the window I saw a playground and my mind shot back to school recess.

That was always the thing with me, the sense my head was in space that was much younger than what my peers were and that really I never had a sense of really relating to older children never mind any adult later on.

No, what I seemed to be stuck in and have a need to be as just being able to live more at my own rather child-like level so apart from buying things like Gordon the Gopher from Children's BBC to play with I began to experiment more around dressing younger whenever I could which was easier given I was a bit thin with girls hoodies and even school uniform.

I just felt more at one with who I was, liking the me in the mirror rather than glancing at an imposter who felt she was just acting out a role all the time.

1989 was when I started ti get back to being myself.

Drop that old disguise

 

There are times when I feel the best thing for any little would be to toss aside the many layers of sophistication we may of felt pushed in the direction of while trying to cover over this side of us such as the fascination in being on top of news and celebratory gossip.

Just switch off the phone and computer, put on simple outfit like a pinafore dress and place yourself on a largish bed or the floor with some plushies, simple blocks with letters or patterns and a colouring book and let it all out in play.

Be engrossed in it, make "silly" noises, create dialogue for your toys while you play.

 Go on nature walks skipping, jump in a puddle, even try writing a note to your grown up side telling them just how you feel about being hidden.

The only you that matters is the authentic one.

Authenticity

Owthenticity as I call it is something a few people have picked up when looking at this blog over the years rather like its more mainstream littles stablemates because they come from the same place and as I was reminded seeing some split.combined and resplit discussion around journals on another site handling different audience preferences and aversions does figure.

People who may read one may have a aversion to the point they'd never read a blog with certain content on it and vice versa of course even if they may be bit different parts of one whole in so far as you person who is the subject of it is concerned.

The basic principals of all start from a premise with some very important aspects given the audience this blog specifically has which is the life depicted IS the life lived, no lifestyle fiction, a life which basically co-relates to that of a child except BY LAW you are an adult AND in the era you were that child.

The other two blogs do go more into hobbies, interests and attire side of that and cover trends in modern childhood as they affect me.

Because this blog does look more into emotions and discipline then everything around that has to be clearly aimed at a LEGAL ADULT and not about children today as much as it is informed by what was the norms of your own childhood.

Thus what is described is more the reenactment in that setting you knew and feel most comfortable in as a child of that time.

It's never about things such as submission, domination, certainly not "forced sissification" *cough* and thing that part of  the adult kink scene or "kinky schoolgirls" from the days of magazines for men that featured them.

It stems from what in most households at the time or in schools as I do know from first hand experience what would of happened when we "crossed that line" and arisen in real time.

It's very probable placed back in that setting, wearing similar attire to you did then you'd get that feeling, that anticipation of what was to come next with expressions and gestures anyone in that era would recognize. It's something written in us from that time that we expect.

It's why personally I could never do a "school for full on spanking with little else" cos it just would not be real or several days of non stop discipline of all sorts apart from just not being into pain but what happens in this I can and hey I thrive on it.   

Writing this blog isn't easy - I'm not always well - but that is why it is the way that it is: it is for the littles who are happiest being back in the world they knew  knowing someone else would keep them safe and well behaved.

 
 

Dolly love

Dolls are a fascination of mine and play a role in my age dysphoric life beyond even that of collecting which is something I did start in my early teens getting a variety of differently dressed and posed ones such as alpine skiing not just wearing frilly dresses and petticoats.

They're generally on bases that support them upright in those poses securely

Music - can it take you to adultland?

 

I was reading a popular and usually pretty sensible Tumblr blog when I came by a post which was supposed to been all about of coming out of a regressed little headspace to re-enter a adult one which was interesting.

The first thing is with me if you hand not realized I'm not regressed in the sense in which I enter a younger headspace from having been in an adult one because actually I'm always like this.

It's more about to what extent I mask it to the point I just have a meltdown cos some of you can't handle it.

The bigger thing was they were were talking about steps to take to get back into this adult state of mind and one they suggested was playing music you associated with that role and like I was thinking "Uh-huh?"

Look, I know a fair bit about music, did it at school, collect recordings by many artists in different genres and have been know to blog elsewhere about it but is there really such a thing thing as music you associate with being adult?

I was listening to symphonies and solo piano music at the age 8 starting to have a bit of a record collection as that girl, like most of you I heard my folks favourites some of which I liked and some I didn't but all this music takes me back to my childhood.

If you heard a song of your parents that they liked to play doesn't that actually take you back in that time?

To me that's always been the thing. Music takes you back.

I get it that you may need to do somethings like run your own finances and work if you're capable of it so you can't just stay at home playing with your barbies but the idea that there is music that somehow catapults you back to doing adult stuff I find very hard going.

Easter edition

The day was going rather well as I thought being up in time for a shower followed by washing my hair before going the watermelon and toast for breakfast .

Then I was expecting to see granny as we can have one visitor in our house now with the new covid rules announced on Monday so I was checking my messages when I had one saying "See you in a few minutes, better get yourself comfortable!. Love Granny" which was odd as I thought she was just popping around with my Easter Egg.

It was a little Easter ritual that went back to early girlhood sometimes I'd go to her and on other times she came up to me which usually began by asking if I'd been good.

Anyway, I heard the doorbell go and saw that she was there so invited her into the front room after offering to put the kettle on, fixing coffee for two.

Anyway I returned to the room where I saw she had a Waitrose shopping bag with her as she said "I hear you didn't clear up your bedroom according to my Daughter when she last saw you".

"Have you anything to say about that?"

I mumbled something under my breath as over the years I'd forgotten how close they were and how she'd learn about my poor school grades before I even mentioned school on our visits.

"Well I have" she replied. She grabbed my arm before saying "You may be an adult in law my dear but do you recall what I did to you girls when they did not keep their bedrooms tidy, Jo?" 

"You s-s-spanked them, granny? I said stuttering"

"That is correct and it's time you my dear were reminded of it with haste" she said before adding "Over my knee right now".

Well this was great I thought. Does this mean I don't get my Egg after all as just went over her knew feeling just like her little girl all over again in trouble for spilling stuff before I felt a hand go up my skirt and "You won't need these" as she proceeded to pull my knickers down and give me a firm hand spanking".

"What do you have to say now" she asked. "I'm sorry for not keeping my room tidy, granny" I said as my bottom was stinging "and for needing a good spanking. I'll get it done right away".

"Well, I'll stay to help" you she said "and as you feel that's what you needed after all these years, Jo, let's say you let me spank you from now on, just like we used to then. Agreed Jo?"

"Yes granny and thank you. I'd rather you did as I haven't really grown up" I said.

"I know, Jo. Your my favourite forever little girl and I'll take care of you the way we did then"

After clearing it all up with granny's help, she said "Let's go back into the front room".

We went back in as she hand me this Thornton's chocolate egg and said "I was thinking if you truly deserved it earlier on  but you put your back into the tidying up so you there you go, it's yours after all.

"Thank you for that lovely egg. I love unicorns."

"Well my dear you were all unicorns and smacked bottoms back then and nothing's changed in those has it?".

"No granny" I said before she was for off and I thanked her again with a  few more places to call on.

Easter never felt more different and yet the same for being that eternal girl all over again, loving the simple life.

The grass isn't always greener

This week it's different.

Some communities try to make out they are so-so inclusive that they could make an angel blush with their perfect virtues and yet you come by people wronged by them.

I read a story recently about a person who while being very much an adult of a good number of decades nontheless felt very much a younger woman in terms of her development around their 30's, interests and so on.

Although there are some similarities, this isn't about a person who is a age regressor, a person who temporarily goes back to time and mindset of someone younger often a child but a person who because of medical conditions in childhood has compared to their peers a much slower and less developed mindset to his or her peers to the point that they are permanently functionally and functioning as someone younger.

A term used in recent years to describe such a person is age dysphoric or having age dysphoria a state of difference, tensions with being on paper and possibly physically looking older than on the inside they actually are.

Often people like that get told  to "grow up" (as if) or "act your age" when actually that is what you are doing.

Anyway this person is Trans and had been in a circle in her locality for a while going to meetings and social events together when she started to talk about this other side of her life  when she was told to her face she was a sick pedo, a freak and was no longer welcome and what is more they circulated this across the trans networks in her area including deliberately planting untrue rumours like being a threat to children.

Thus she now has no trans social life as a the younger Woman she feels and developmentally is is on the inside facing hostility.

I have to say as someone who probably is like that I feel quite angry that a person who has done nothing wrong, isn't abusing children, treats people with respect was hounded out of their local trans community for a whole load of utter misunderstandings and then subject to untruths being spread.

How dare they go on about how this group and that group is included in lgbtq, that everybody's rights are valued and yet they treat her like that?

Perhaps THEY should 'grow up'?

Dealing with Age Dysphoria for me

After last weeks talking about the current health emergency we return to an important part of what this blog is about.

Although I've travelled certainly from early days of finding CG/l on tumblr, getting to know people in it in person, to the formation of age regression communities as it became obvious the start point of CG/l wasn't where I was from even if some elements within the lifestyle did fit, even truthfully it seems age regression isn't really the right term for where I am act and I do feel Age Dysphoria is more accurate because it is about being permanently that child 'in the head' rather than regressing back to it.

For me a part of being that eternal child is around seeing them in the mirror so how I look as a child does align with the child I am to reduce the dysphoria between how I am and being seen as a adult which I'm not (other than law saying I am).

Thus for me dressing more in the manner of a girl of my era does come into it so I do wear simple girls dresses made from gingham, pinafore dresses as beloved of schoolgirls back then as well as skirts or for playing in, shorts which can be less revealing in mixed company.

As far as is practical given personal needs stepping out of the adult arena really is a must.

The way I'm handled too needs an approach more from that past such as standing in the corner in silence to encourage me to think about my actions rather than anything that might happen in an adult setting because from the inside I am child first and always.

The combination of the two would look more like this.

Simple sanctions from my era apart from stopping any actions dead in their tracks also take me out of any adult zone so to be a space with your favourite unicorn for company in the corner, possibly facing a spanking is really right, the very thing we had then and nothing to do with adult kinks.