Going around the sun 2025 style

As you *may* of managed to work out it was my birthday last week but it just missed the publishing schedule which is why it is I'm writing about it today.

I had a number of cards from family and friends even if some were a bit late arriving with the recent extreme weather effecting when individuals could get out to mail them and also the UK wide delivery network.

Unicorns are such a cool creation, indeed I have a number of unicorns and one person I know, my BFF sent me this lovely card through the mail.

I went out for midday lunch with family to celebrate to a local public house that does home made cooking with big chunky carrots and home prepared roast potatoes so I opted for a Turkey roast with cranberry sauce. Apple sauce never did that much for me to be honest.

I followed that up with home made Apple Pie and vanilla ice cream which was really scrumptious having lots of flavour and texture. I don't like mushy apple flavoured filling in fruit pies.

I had birthday wishes from the site that's the home of 'George' and the Famous Five and other Enid Blyton favourites and some forums including GT, the LG camp chat room and the classical music thread of a music site who put up with my regressive side pretty well.

That ties into having by way of presents one classical music disc plus two records pre-ordered that I'll write about at some point, some money and chocolate.

What is it all about?

 

Unlike some in the Community, I never coveted anything other than a younger image simply because I never felt it and that's quite apparent when it comes to things tomorrow where nothing grown up is taking place. 

All I wanted was the old-new childhood experience I didn't have at the time, to present in the ways I preferred, to play with and play more girl-like games while being to prepared to play a bit more "rough" with boys where I enjoyed what they were doing the odd time and be referred to as that girl, following here own interests rather than being told "No, you cannot do that cos it's only for girls".

So for me the arguments won for girls to play football ("Soccer"), do more physical things previously reserved for boys are things I hold with even if they were not part of the period I originally experienced and I see no reason why if I wish they cannot be part of my own Now.

There are some who think when we are together everything should be as it was but that is something I really cannot agree with.

Things moved on for a reason.

Smallness continues

Last week was the second Anniversary of Mom's death, by irony on Valentine's day and some three weeks before her wedding anniversary date too so I was away on that day but while I was carrying that with me as it were apart from ones case.

Perhaps that was the better thing to do really rather than just being sat at home looking at the pictures and maybe spending an hour or so by the graveside because she was always clear that life goes on and wanted you to continue.

Mom was well in on this more child-like me as much as we found ways of balancing that with the expectations in certain social contexts with grown ups present and did want very much for me to continue attending our more "little" get togethers.

The idea of a little me enjoying the recreation of childhood christmas complete with tree, presents, games and meals would of been something she'd of been happier with than just staring at the wall.      

That was the better choice.

Away thoughts

One thing about being away is there's so much on and you don't have servants to do stuff for you while you play, make things and so on so you all have to "muck in", tidying away, table duties and so on which isn't untypical of being a child in a family.

We could when they did things like get food and running around sorting you out whenever you needed it but your folks aren't away with you and we have to step up.
 

I helped out setting up, clearing and even doing some washing up as not everything goes in the dishwasher and then putting it all away.

I also helped loading and unloading the car even though my wrist hurt a bit too.

I did okay so the lessons of past years relearned are working.

Away Update (starred edition)

 

This week is  little different for me in that actually I'm at home but preparing away for the best of six days under supervision.

The other thing is I have to get my packing all sorted ready for off on Friday so timeways I'm rather pressed this week while I recover from the first degree burns.

There are a few things I do wish to talk about first though of which although alluded to here and mentioned at the odd forum in the past the wordpress blog "Jo's Sp**king Blog" was deleted in early December 2017 for a number of reasons one being it had run its course becoming in some ways a dummy run for things written here although to be honest I found some of the posts I made on that were more centred around personal emotional reactions and some of them had been spliced into this blog as part of the tidying up.

The other was it was following the same drive to talk more about my needs and issues rather than a weekly write up on sp*nking and being sp*nked as this blog did so I didn't feel I needed to similar blogs.

The other is I have put a few original "Angels" posts in rather like there's some from "Experience Project" as like that place, Angels is closing and the best of those posts deserve a home  which they've been given.

There won't be a post next week as I won't be around and really I haven't the time to do that and get ready so we'll resume on or about the 26th.

That Boarding School Girl

After last weeks post which was really pretty rapidly assembled after I realized that with a few problems across the weekend I had not got around to  it I think this week we may get deeper and some indication of which is for the first time in ages I am using a Windows based machine.

One site I have used for donkey's years is closing at the end of the month, a matter of the increased liabilities anyone running a site they themselves own do face and in part the slow dwindling of traditional forums as much as I regret that as simply, a well designed forum is much easier to find your way around than the likes of X or Instagram even though the cool kids just stay in that "walled garden"

That place played a part in the establishment of my original blog being the direct inspiration for taking topics, be they around Trans Life, Music, Reading, the nature of Gender and Sexual identity and expanding owns own thoughts to many there that followed it.

Reading through some of the old messages still preserved reminded me very much of just how front and central that site was and why to this day the blog still has quite a high coverage given I don't push it really hard.

It was really the place where after some negative encounters online and a struggle balancing the more serious grown up side and what simply would never go away, the more little, child-like I just broke down and came out LG.

And they just accepted that.

My choice of avatar their reflected that, a girl on a swing with the forum signature line "I'll go on my swing if I want to" summed it up.: While prepared to engage with adult topics, I was to be open about my Little Sides needs. I created a spot for them there too.

That write large went into the more grown up That Boarding School Girl blog as an expanded entry.
 

kk

The way things were Feb 9 2012

 I'd like you to imagine a scene.

This morning we discussed the causes of the the Franco-Prussian war complete with an essay to write as homework due in in around three to five days time listing sources used and so on.

The bell is heard, we pack up are textbooks, note pad and exercise books as it's morning recess, filing out slowly in single file (yes we had order at my school).

We discuss what was on tv last night but inevitably the conversation turns to where you went last with your boy/girlfriend , relationship statuses and who's hot.

You're so not into this, wanting instead to play games in the playground, you aren't romantically involved with anyone just wanting to share your dolls, teddies and other interests to others but this is so uncool with your peer group. 

You're not just feeling isolated for being the only trans in the form, you are lonesome because you can't share never mind openly talk about about this whole other side of your life without inviting ridicule.

Well that was me at 16, getting good results, responsible showing maturity where it mattered,having a good understanding of some grown up things like current affairs and looking after those who needed help settling in. 

I still have my dolls, plushies (more mainstream now than they used to be) plus teddies and yes I love to go on my swing when the weathers great as it's so comforting.

I'm the same today as I was yesterday and those years ago although some interests have changed maybe a bit more clued in what passes as 'social norms' and been employed in fields that would be too upsetting for a good many of you to protect society.

Thank you for reading this.

*Originally posted at UK Angels.