Guidance

Life can get a bit crazy at times, few of us came with an instruction manual complete with chapter index on how to deal with certain situations but normally we get through it over time learning from our earliest past experiences and it has to be said with some guidance which might of been more of talk about an issue we're dealing say the first time we felt bullied at playgroup or school.

Sometimes though it may of been different, perhaps it was us being unpleasant, unkind or pretty beastly to some other child or shockingly an Adult.

Adjusting to the changes in our roles as we move on can be hard going but just imagine you thought you really were too big to be told, perhaps something like this might of been called for:

 

I know I was out of line for a period in my teens and twenties, just failing to get to grips not just etiquette but just basic stuff about my rights and responsibilities and who really was responsible for what.

With me this kind of wake up call was what I needed.

The final say (Ultimate Limits)

Last week I was talking about about the origins of some of my cycles of behaviour, how they trip me up and what perhaps can be done to break them.

One thing I do need need to be up front about is some aspects of this behaviour is centred in modern contexts that when I was in my teens simply would not of been foreseen because modern life itself is different.

It seems I am going need to learn to leave my netbook well away from my sleeping space rather like my cellphone always is, simply because when it's at hand with it's glowing power lead, I lack the ability not to be able to look up from the bed without wanting to 'just go check' something or other when I really need to be sleeping ready for first thing next morning.

That sounds very much like a modern teen/parent battleground rather than someone who at least according to the law is an adult but does show something of the problems around lack of focus and personal responsibility I have and it might be I need to be given a consequence for that one lapse.

At one site I had an interesting exchange with two people about around the limits of behaviour, how it is that you can reach the point where somebody needs to be saying, “You're out of line and this IS stopping”, although you may not like the fact that they did it.

I was openly moved by their recognition that even if you may be legally an adult and perhaps in some kind of relationship too this doesn't end and that they'd still have a need to be kept in line.

The way this mature young person put it came over to me as a timely reminder to finally accept what she does, that you are not without limits on your behaviour-there comes a point when they WILL be applied-and it's for your own good.

Another young person indicated I need to try harder to improve on my behaviour as they themselves do. She didn't have to reach out to me but obviously felt I needed this so it's time I took a step forward.

I shall adopt these teens attitudes toward accepting the authority of others over me from now on.

Waiting or making things happen

It may be just over four weeks off but my thoughts are very much centred around that time not least ideally you'd review the last year and most of us were encouraged to keep a journal of what we did, where went, what we learned and critically what we felt which would of helped with understanding how I felt about me and my life and perhaps of aided some sort of maturity which I'll be honest, I know I lack.

Something I think I do think might of helped me grow up at least a bit more which I do really need to would of been to had spent rather more of actual childhood in Girl Guiding, learning new skills, developing more confidence, learning to be a "do-er", being very much one of the girls.

Being able to show what I could learn, having a place in the scheme of things, learning to give more of myself rather than expecting others to do it really was the thing and perhaps it is time to consider something along those lines to help me grow up.