Crossing into Big Brothers

We've past Halloween and Guy Fawkes Night season, a fixture of my childhood as between my social awkwardness with being autistic and difficulties tolerating the smoke were things I very much looked forward too.

I was fortunate in that I enjoyed very good relationship with my older as much as he did threaten to use a  cane on my hands a few times when I got carried away because he took a very genuine interest in my welfare talking about various changes I was going through, school life and my hobbies and interests some of which such as music we did both share

The one area that we stayed at the "I'm okay,You're okay" stand off was really around gender and sexuality where until recently I didn't know he was gay although I had my suspicions and for that matter he doesn't know about my being trans and very much an Adult Little as much as might be desirable.

I mean Mom, god bless her accepts the little side of me easier than any kind of big trans stuff, somehow she see's developmentally  I've always been more of a child so can live more with that although I haven't told her everything about the meet ups and stuff.

Maybe one day it'll all be out in the open?

On lifestyle (An essay of sorts)

It's a while since I looked at the statistics of this blog, in part cos I think they can be a little misleading at times, but it appears it's had over 51,000 page views since it started and is one of the prominent alg blogs around.
The person who worked out it also could be described as a slice of alg  life blog got that right because its coverage is broader than just about me being a little/middle it's also about the life and how I see that from it.

For I suspect most of us, this life in its differing aspects such as our child-like interests, sense of dressing more as a little - for me little/middle girl - gender presentation for some and so on comes from within.
Certainly speaking purely personally it's something I've felt for a very long time in my so-called real life even if some individual aspects may of changed over time like my more recent feeling comfortable with the more frillier side of being alg.
It is something that we feel, something that we need perhaps in our lives not that we may not have balance this sometimes with more adult responsibilities like paying the bills and for a good many, needing to work too.
We own that sense of self, working it as best we can to suit our requirements and we're in control of that at all times. In other words we're responsible for our sense of little and where we take it.
This is I feel a bit different than what you may see elsewhere where it's portrayed as being "Forced" although I'd say that's not an accurate description so much as the person doing that is more the one enabling, using psychological suggestions, a sense of wanting to be enabled in the subject as no one can in the everyday sense of the word make you do feel or do something you don't wish.
The person buys into it in other words and I suspect they may not have the confidence to just do it by themselves if that's really them. 
It's a different feeling I think from any sense  of, if you're transgendered, wanting wrongs in the form of gendered presentation to be put aright as being enabled to say attend school in the gender you feel which I can well understand from personal experience.
That's just about you as the child back then, being able to be yourself, the gender you really feel, and to have the childhood involving  play and schooling you deserved and all to often never got although through the miracle of age-play you may well be able to recreate something of it such as at meets or in creating say school based role playing especially if it can be face to face.
All I know is I loved some of these elements at Camp, they made me feel more complete and very happy. Maybe it does for you?

Treated like a naughty girl

For me life can be complicated in that despite being over the age of majority, my grasp of things is often more childlike which can great most of the time but does lead at times into difficult issues with my behaviour spiralling into the more bratty as I can't seem to sense when to pull back for myself.
An example of what I mean is when at a gathering I really started making silly noises in front of Mommies guests and no amount of verbal reasoning was working. I had been brought up with spanking although very infrequent as my folks were divided on it, fighting each other tooth and nail to have the final say so inevitably it seldom got carried out.
Anyway, exasperated from running out of options for dealing with me, she dragged me to a private secluded spot and gave me a spanking -six strokes with her bare hand -with the caution there would be others to come if I didn't behave.
Strangely enough the sensation brought about an instant stoppage as I couldn't ignore the consequences delivered in the way everything else had.
You could say dealing with my childish behaviour by treating me as child who gets a spanking really helps me and am glad I always get one from her now on.
Indeed rather than going through report systems and warnings that only serve to wind me up, I'd much sooner the other real grown ups would just go ahead deliver a spanking, smalls suitable rolled down to ensure I really felt it as it keeps me in check better.

The Wind Rises

It's Halloween here today but apart from having a ghoulish time of it tonight I have a new anime to watch.

A little different than most because it is very much about Jiro a Japanese aeronautical designer who worked for Mitshibushi who was inspired by the Italian Caproni who because he'd been nearsighted from a young age wasn't able to become a pilot joins the company in 1927.
He goes on to become one of the world's most innovative and accomplished airplane designers and in that respect this anime by Hayao Miyazaki is a tribute to him.
A seconary interest in this anime, unexpected and much appreciated by me watching it is the romance between Jiro and Nahoko who is ill with tuberculosis marrying her. Some of the scenes showing his love for her during periods where she was very ill are really moving.
The anime, chronicles much of his life time, the Great Kanto Earthquake of 1923, the Great Depression and the entrance of Japan into war in 1937.
The film also explores the growing friendship between him and his colleague Honja.
While some have criticized this anime for being ambivalent on what Jiro designed, warplanes that were a important part of Japan's war machinery, the overall message is one of how war only brings down countries and anti war opinions are voiced.
Overall I thought this was a really good anime, a fitting tribute not just to Jiro but also to the director.

Happy halloween folks!

I am a adult school girl

One thing I have the right to be is myself, an adult middle in the form of a school girl living a life that suits my own needs, not least those that stem from my learning and developmental disabilities that leave me needing a lot of supervision and handling very much like that child.

Enlightenment

Little truths we ignore:

 Measurement:

Going casual

When it comes to more casual looks, this kind of thing, the t shirt and cotton skirt is my usual go to simple cos it's comfortable, easy to put on wear and classy with the look of youth that I can pull of even now.
I just wish my hair was as good as hers!