Chilling little style IV

 The evolving notion of uniform here has had some makeovers since the start of Covid.

 A new grey traditional pinafore of high quality with length adjusted to look more upper junior than "young lady" at a school for older girls was got as some of the regular ones didn't quite fit right  and I was conscious of it.

 

Underwear was changed to maroon gym knickers and the odd white pair in comfortable cuts.

 

While no good for "stealth" dressing some traditional pereline white socks were bought for get togethers aided by having actual children's sized feet so at least while there I am more like a younger schoolgirl.

Of Updates and stuff

This blog just seems to ramble on in time however difficult trying to keep it up to date is with having periods of poor health rather like "Treacle" my second personal computer with an internet connection did even as a back up a better machine that developed issues of its own.

 The other thing of course is those things that "run" your computer seldom stay still so rather like in 2015 my last Windows machine you may be aware of attempts to upgrade you to Windows 11 rather like back then I was being nagged into installing 10.

Just imagine though for a second what if you were rather like that computer, would we, do we even receive a notification to say our brains and logical reasoning are compatible for a forthcoming upgrade with an Upgrade Now option?

Would there be a "roll back" of the software didn't take to the last working version?

For the vast majority of people a few teething human equivalents of driver reinstallations aside it works fairly well even if the work leisure balance isn't as good as could be as "play" is a long term universal need.

For some of us though it doesn't as our hardware doesn't fully take the software with a times a fleeting approximation to what Human 13plus 18th revision when installed can do so we're taken back to the last Restore Point and given the the last updates whenever errors are found to burn into our CPU to keep us running the best such a system can.

That's why this life and how it works is so different.

Disability and getting on

How different people handle changed especially life changing conditions or disabilities has always interested me not least for possessing several and having known a good number of people in a variety of situations who have too.

 

It's often interesting to see how people who on the face of may have similar conditions have made of their lives, how they may differ and how others are quite different although I'd like to stress from the get go I don't feel a 'my disability is worse or better than yours' take is really helpful not least for only you alone know how that affects your life or 'mine is more or less “real” than yours either for the same reason.

 

This being said it is my personal conviction how much you are able to make of your life even though you have disabilities depends very much on not only what opportunities may be available to you (and certainly there can be a lack of them that does our society no great favours) and what our own attitudes toward making the most of our lives can be when they are.

 

This can be more difficult when it comes to dealing with things such as social anxiety which as someone does find things like meeting people or using the telephone difficult I readily understand but unless we are prepared to explore how we may get more confident or better able to communicate, then our opportunities are limited.

 

I think it's that which sometimes is the harder thing because on top everything there is insecurity and a blanket feeling that you are not being understood.

 

There is though I feel a difference between an understanding that says “I am prepared to try to improve on the things I struggle with however hard that might be” and one that simply isn't prepared to even explore what options may be available even if they may not be a “total cure” because you may be limiting yourself from the experiences and opportunities that would enrich your life. You can't advance by staying still.

 

It's hardly fair on the face of it but those of us who have disabilities who in some way or other wish to make the most of our lives in mainstream society need to do as much as can for ourselves to find ways of maximizing it, perhaps in some respects even more than those who don't face the same challenges. 

 

Things just don't come easy to us although I'd also add trying to compensate by excusing other things like 'fitting in' and following the accepted social conventions and rules as everyone else can of itself set you back simply because we have to 'hold our own' and isn't fair to everyone else even though I do recognize that's something I have been guilty of in the past.

Culpability

 

In a number of ways this whole picture sums up what I find is sometimes ignored, that is there may be more than just one of you in on what has plainly caused much upset and you cannot truthfully put the blame down to just one even if a good argument might be made for saying the older child knew better.

In such instances perhaps it is for the best for both of you to be treated in very much the same way from being expected to tell the whole truth, to write an apology and for both of you to receive an appropriate punishment that reflects what you both were a part of.

New Year Edition 2022

No one can deny 2020 had been tough on everyone cutting through so much everyday stuff, with things cancelled and for some of us parts of our needed lives cancelled as we couldn't meet others.

While in most respects 2021 has been better although concerns around the latest variants ease of transmission are seeing some stricter rule reintroductions to the point people could meet up what that has revealed is just how messed up mentally it left me and in the absence of regular real life as it happens reminders sliding on attitudes and behaviours that impact not just on other people but also on my own functioning.

For me some of that cost has been a lack of focus, the forgetting of social codes, habits and reasonable expectations of being with people and a sharp drop of in my limited personal self discipline that's been an issue with me for as long as I've been old to go to school.

I wrote a few months about the first occasion after the change in regulations issues around getting started on tasks had earned a caning and not just a "playful" one, whose impact lasted over a week. 

That reduced me to feeling deep and genuine sorry for my actions while feeling tearful as the strokes continued to hurt for days not least whenever I sat down.

It was an experience I never felt for long time

In 2022 then in order to put a stop to this which developed through Covid, the gloves must come off and the transmission of the most painful consequences be administered without question. 

Wherever the seriousness may allow for it, I need to be caned firmly to get your point over.

Cane, strap or slipper it must really register with immediate sharp pain, not to cause permanent injury but to burn in as a deterrent.

It must really hurt to the point of tears if is to have the needed impact.

In the end you are just that, a stupid little girl learning her lessons that went array during the pandemic and need to be retaught them.

Some year thoughts on 2021

I hope you all had the best Christmas you could have but as we've had a bunch of post around other topics I do rather think we need to take advantage of this pause to talk around other aspects of my life

One reason this blog continues to exist is the need to have a space for more middle or even grown up things at times having deliberated at times the need to keep it going with having the littles one.

Being me means I am more of adult child in most respects having many of interests of a girl still and much of the mental outlook so that means people look out for me in the wider community which with the pandemic  has been a godsend.

The year has been very much the year of the virus from us feeling towards the end of twenty twenty that the worst of it was with those of us who had been more or less shielding coming out of the woodwork as I visited Sandbach a few  times before we went back into reverse.

It is kind of hard to underestimate how it feels to be think you can be out more, even perhaps staying with friends only to have it dashed in the new year but that's how it was with the Delta variant.

We were fortunate to get away to the Lake District towards the end of the year just to recover mentally from the last nineteen and a bit months, playing games and enjoying the open views and fresh air.

 Christmas here is very much a repeat of how things were cos I haven't change any so a staple is annuals connected to comics so we have this years Beano Annual which my of caught up with the Spotty as Scotty renaming in the Bash Street Kids or not but will have the two new classmates in.

We don't have a Dandy no more outside of the Summer Special but we do have an all new annual to look forward to.

Recently there has been themed compilations of classic cartoon strips from the Dandy and Beano from the past and this years looks at stories featuring characters doing art and drawing within the comic.

An aspect of my life is I need to be looked after a bit, my short term memory is shocking, my physical disabilities are such that I need help with stuff like getting dressed and cooking so finding ways of doing that that don't take away my own sense of being independent matter so as much as some posts in the blog look more around some of my behavioural traits and how they're being corrected, there is a good  deal more around me and that's what I'm trying to put over in this blog.

Fundamentally I am good girl who needs help to make the most of my potential,encouraged to look out being engaged with life but is chastised when I need to be taught a lesson.

Christmas paws edition

*** HAPPY CHRISTMAS FOLKS *** 

At this time of year it's usual for me to take a break from blogging, commenting on various websites not least Tumblr simply because there's that much at the face to face so-called real life level to be getting on with so that has really  to take priority in the build up to Christmas Day and  shortly afterward.

This year will be no different so I thought I'd let you know I'll be off for a period.
(((Hugs)))