Lingerie time

We're going back a few years really this week, actually just under a few decades really when I first started really exploring much of this in the online era experimenting with different looks of which one was really the maid look.

Not a cheap and cheerful pvc take but something more like actual hotel maids and that wore at the time and where just after leaving school I had rather fancied at least in my head the idea I could work as a maid as people skills and attention to detail were more me, what I was good at than much else.

Exploring lingerie started for me around the time I got a job working in the city centre where there's more of everything than here and these wore my thoughts as written down back then on this experience.

I was busy working today and had some time to kill before I left for home.

This thing has been bugging me for decades certainly past being 12 and it's why for all my gender issues and the rubbish I've endured, have I never actually gone out a.nd bought myself lingerie? 

Is it that I'm just too embarrassed to be seen looking through the displays and to be holding them at the sales counter, like if someone I know just happens to see me?

Darn it, I want to know so today I actually and deliberately walked into a high street lingerie store and with the aid of the female assistants bought myself several pretty pairs with bows on, nothing really hot, just regular pretty to wear under my slacks while I'm in vanillaville.

The funny thing was I didn't phaze the staff out and and they made me feel comfortable during the whole time.

And that really was the thing so rather go the route of chains like Transformation, I went to high end lingerie stores and let them help me pick what looked good on me

Let's end slurs

Some matters came up while away, some things more internal so best not mentioned others raised eyebrows with me.

On the one hand we've been through a period where everybody has been expected to be more inclusive, supporting an array of LGBTQA+ people, supporting women and girls faced with misogyny and discrimination which broadly speaking is a good thing.

Yet in some groups the casual use of slurs and outmoded stereotypical assumptions and attitudes prevail even now. 

It is regrettably the case some sissies see being female as being weak, to be less than a male with more than a shade of that playground retort "Soppy Girls" with the exception for some reason of dominants while to me to be feminine isn't to be weaker, just different.

What I had noticed was the tendency of some adult little girls to talk of "Ikky Boys" with a tone of disgust again as if to be a boy was a bad thing to be  and if anyone perhaps had to come to an event dressed as we used to say on the UK Angels forum in "Bob Mode" then the first thing two or three would say is "What's an ikky boy doing here?"

One openly remarked during a point in her life she was struggling that remark really hurt her to the point she was for leaving.

Another just said "It's only banter" and "nothing was meant by it" but do we know how any of these remarks are seen and feel to that individual?

If you glad to be out of "Bob Mode" as often as you can why do you feel the need to denigrate males especially when having not transitioned you are yourself?

Why can't all of us cut out this silly playground language and that all once and for all and stop denigrating others calling boys boys and girls, girls without anything in front of it.

We can't be truly inclusive when we appear to have issues with each other.

Stepping out as the really real me for real

Well we are back after being away from midday Friday last dealing with things that weren't done online like my Tumblr, blogs, the UR and EB Forums and real life things from the likes of the NHS, gaps in shopping with not being out last Wednesday and the like.

Most of the stuff about being away is on the main littles blog as that's really what it's about, totally non sexual fun more like a summer camp for legal adults which for strange types on Mumsnet is what its been always about.

Anyway for me it was within those terms a more frilly affair  with wearing white patterned long socks with frilly tops, going with more frilled underwear and nightdress, part in many ways of the changes we've been going through over recent months but all from a non sexual, fetish free direction.

The kind of look I'd of gone with in my early teens.

The Hello Kitty socks going with them even as in this picture with a sweatshirt and skort.

Jigsaws were done like this Mr Men one, a more child-like one cos as I said we're playing as if we're at summer camp with friends.

I felt great letting this mixture of little and sissy sides together in simple way, living in the moment being more the the full me rather than trying to fit in to someone elses idea of what this is all about.

Result!

No Authority

There's always been one rule regarding me going away as part of this life with friends, no not the think before you post pictures when out together but to keep me proper grounded during that time I do not have anything internet connected on me. Ever.

Put quite simply I can easily lose a a nights sleep to overnight using catching up anything anywhere which is one reason when those problems came to a head, I had spankings to help put a stop to it apart from agreeing to measures to control usage.

The lack of authority on your part is palpable  as she taps the ground with the cane urging you to hurry up taking down your knickers before setting you now bared bottom bent over on fire.

It helped me a lot.

Summer playtime

As you may of gathered I was going to be away for a few days this weekend which was a part the reason for posts being a tadge rushed.

 
But as ever and increasingly more so, I had do everything like pack everything I was going to take away with me, sort out transportation and remember to take some with me a biscuit  as I'd be travelling across midday with two friends.

This tends to be easier than sorting train connections and the almost inevitable issues these days of cancellations and delays due to weather, industrial action or no driver turning up.

Seasoned readers of certain forums will know, the last few weeks haven't been good with me with family health worries not least dads cancer, diabetes and related complications so a large part of being away was to get away from that and play more.

We've been finishing a few bits of collections off such as my Blue Peter annuals most going back to when I was younger and our television wasn't colour.

There will a more frilled mode of dress going on as you all know really that's me but in a relatively subtle more Little way given the setting - it always makes sense to "Read the room" - and keep within the events expectations.

I not usually much for short sleeves especially dresses as that's one area where body image connected dysphoria is strong in me (not feeling comfortable in your skin is so not funny) but thought this was a good setting with people to try it.

Plus it's so it's so middle/little and that above all was where I wanted, nay needed right noe.

* Picture NOT brought to you Associated Rediffusion but as I has no smart phone and selfie stick (dangerous given my computer usage issues) this is as close as you're gonna get AND see, I is for real.

St Trinians!

It's been a warm start to the week here so we're having to watch time spent in the sun or for that matter upstairs as it gets very warm and I run warm as it is.

Looking more like the products of my kinda school here's the St Trinian's Girls in the classic 50's and 60's form. The series started in movie form in 1954 is about a group of unruly private school girls in a unconventional  and one might say corrupt school system who are always battling out between the Ministry of Education, any adult who crossed them and the girls themselves.

Below is a picture taken as part of renactment of part of Great Train Robbery of St Trinians film from 1966 where the girls get to play with trains!

The organizers of the preserved railway kept things very much in the spirit of the original film and the cartoons so it's high jinks rather than anything sleazy.

The uniforms have become a staple of so-called grown up dressing up in their native UK for things such as school reunions and so on which makes the ordering and wearing somewhat more straight forward than you might think. 

I enjoy wearing them when my inner girl is feeling at that level building upon my school girl at heart personality.

Something is happening

This week is gearing up into being another hot week so I'm trying to get things done before the thermometer goes above thirty so where do we begin?

This blog.

We do get comments from time to time nearly all published unless there's a good reason not to and thing to address is the elephant in the room where I am going as I write from my experience and emotions, preferring that than just publishing captions and memes.

That is why it is different - you might feel better - than some so as I go along a journey in self discovery and expression then that does alter the context although you can't erase the past some of those past elements continue in this journey perhaps less so due to opportunities but still within me.

So they may be references to spanking as a corrective if I feel it's relevant or is going on in this life although in some ways bits had been around for a while but held back not least when in some circles Little Girl vs Sissy as bitterly thought over to point you were not meant to mix even if all you wanted to do was spend some time playing with toys, dollies and that.

Indeed one person who appears to have stopped posting at one site constantly misquoted me around all of that.

And there will be some things that are more around that such as looking at publications, toys and the like.

I am pleased this blog in its currently evolving form, talking about those changes, keeping those things few really need to know every single detail of is being not merely accepted but appreciated as it is.

Thanks.