Lingerie time

We're going back a few years really this week, actually just under a few decades really when I first started really exploring much of this in the online era experimenting with different looks of which one was really the maid look.

Not a cheap and cheerful pvc take but something more like actual hotel maids and that wore at the time and where just after leaving school I had rather fancied at least in my head the idea I could work as a maid as people skills and attention to detail were more me, what I was good at than much else.

Exploring lingerie started for me around the time I got a job working in the city centre where there's more of everything than here and these wore my thoughts as written down back then on this experience.

I was busy working today and had some time to kill before I left for home.

This thing has been bugging me for decades certainly past being 12 and it's why for all my gender issues and the rubbish I've endured, have I never actually gone out a.nd bought myself lingerie? 

Is it that I'm just too embarrassed to be seen looking through the displays and to be holding them at the sales counter, like if someone I know just happens to see me?

Darn it, I want to know so today I actually and deliberately walked into a high street lingerie store and with the aid of the female assistants bought myself several pretty pairs with bows on, nothing really hot, just regular pretty to wear under my slacks while I'm in vanillaville.

The funny thing was I didn't phaze the staff out and and they made me feel comfortable during the whole time.

And that really was the thing so rather go the route of chains like Transformation, I went to high end lingerie stores and let them help me pick what looked good on me

Talks

There are a number of things that I'd like to talk about in this weeks edition of which the first is really about the use of profiles on sites which are really a condensed way of communicating important things about you and why you may belong to a site.
One thing I do say on a good number of my profiles is I don't generally do chat simply because with my badly damaged tendons it's very painful and cuts into my ability to do other thing such as eat, dress myself and also help out in the home which truthfully is a expectation anyone should have for me to help me become more responsible.
It annoys me the number times I get  loads of requests to chat from people I haven't friended, who haven't even written  a thing about themselves that just think being a female adult little is a automatic suggestive chat up service or a means of getting something to add to their wanna Male Dominants ego to control. That I have a Caregiver too is listed on the profile but guess what? They can't darn well read!
The funny thing is I did chat to three females, one in a relationship where her partner is her (agreed) dominant, a female dominant who spanks and a young woman who was interested in what being a little and our lifestyle was all about.
The one distinguishing thing about these conversations although each had their own style, was  the respect shown in the conversation toward myself given these were not people I really knew that well and anyway on the internet you know there's stuff you never give out about you.
One rather surprising thing was that they all asked about what I wore, and having explained it was a school type uniform wanted to know what it was, the colours, talking for sometime about it without any implied criticism or having any misunderstandings that are not uncommon elsewhere.
That meant I was to explain its role in my life, that my Caregiver prefers me in it and the shape, cut and colour of each actual bit to it.
The younger one asked about meets so I explained they are generally 18+ and it was good idea to go talk with whoever organized one about their own dos and don'ts, that generally any sexual with people is kept away from  anything that's not so it doesn't cut into the experience of non sexual littles (or those who may be but aren't looking for that there).
That one also came straight out with  the question "What about spanking, Are you spanked?" which took me by surprise so there I was explaining it all, like I am spanked for being naughty by my Caregivers and other adults to some one only just out of her teens who has a younger sister who as it happens is spanked by her folks for much the same reason.
Any sense of 'adulthood' just evaporated at that point as she actual just 'got' what being a little was and actually she loved how it was with me.
The one who was in a more Adult kind of domestic discipline relationship with her partner talk quite about more in detail about the spankings comparing them with her own between a lot jokes and general good humour.
The female dominant talked quite a bit about the uniform I had on, each individual garment by the material, the shape, in the case of my skirt the length together with the pleats and my knee length schoolgirl socks. She also wanted to know about my knickers-the colour, material and shape as well as my general appearance such as build, eye colour and so on.

She really liked the idea of me being in this uniform, what it symbolizes, that whole girl to Adult Authority figure. We talked about spanking techniques, rituals such as baring, the uses of scolding, corner time and what we felt about it. Had I not of gotten a Caregiver and others who spank me she clearly indicated she would of been prepared to take me on, working through the those attitudes and behaviours I struggle with.
For me this whole experience  being able to talk openly about being being an adult little/middle was good. Moreover to talk about the attitude and behaviours I experience and how it is that I'm spanked rather like a child would be without any sense of shame or embarrassment to relative strangers who just accepted it was quite a breakthrough for me.
*There is nothing shameful in being spanked as an legal adult*

Looking back at the last year

As a few entries touched on, I went from a situation in my late teens with very little effective discipline of any kind to the removal of anything short of being made to leave home without having the very attitudes corrected and by late 2014 things were in a mess.

More by chance than anything discussions at various places lead to me finding a Caregiver who accepted and was prepared to work with adult middle me who made it plain they wanted me in school uniform and they were going to discipline me as that schoolgirl.

 They made it a hard rule that My knickers were to come right down for all punishment spankings so my bared bottom was going to pay the price from now on for all infractions, looked at my problems  and we agreed a set of rules to help me change.

And not just a  slipper but a hairbrush, leather and wooden paddles too as I increasingly learned to present my bottom for correction as just an everyday part of my life.

 
It wasn’t long before I felt so at ease with it that talking to other trusted adults who knew me and my problems well, that they took on a disciplinarian role to a middle who they also knew as one who is in school uniform, agreeing to spank me whenever I’m with them.

For good measure measure many of little/middle friends know about this, do know when I’ve been in trouble and are supportive because they know I can be more mature and considerate if I want to be.

It was through the discussions through them that quite against the odds caning something I only had at school came back as an option in more severe infractions with a variety of different canes being available to use when extinguishing a behavior or attitude was required.

Given it worked then I can't see it failing to keep my behaviour and attitudes in decent limits. 

Other things such as the Tawse and Martinet are agreed options too.

It was a long, painful process with some elements such as having more trusted Adults re-enforcing my Caregiver by disciplining me too not even in the original plan but it has started to work.

 
Who knew this was just what I so badly needed from Adult Authority figures who cared enough to step in and prevent me from falling while also working with guidance and support on changing me so I never get to that point again.

Please support spanking me. You know it  makes sense.

Get Yer Kit on II!

This was something I wrote a few years back which still holds true.

PE kit holds a fascination with me like having a 'proper'  set to wear including things like this PE Polo neck t shirt with a school logo on it.

There is something I find most agreeable about having to wear a pleated green PE skirt with matching gym knickers for games or exercise having been to a co-ed boarding school as well as wearing that combination since.
The freedom of movement over shorts, the sheer femininity whole preserving some modesty are overwhelming.

I find gym knickers very comfortable on me which is why I’m so happy to wear them

Intimate regression II

School knickers should be modest, single colour and fit snugly  which was the reason before the "My right to wear what knickers I want" argument started, your school told you which and in what colour they were meant to.
Now there's concern that some girls knickers don't fit properly around the gusset, are too revealing and Moms are saying may need Lycra overshorts for PE to keep girls modest.
If only 'My rights' would of listened to why my generation had it different this would never of happened.
***Rant***

Realized me

There are times when I actually wonder what would of happened had my paperwork as a child would of read 'girl' which I really think it ought to of.
I've written a bit here about the conceptualized ideal of me as that 'special' schoolgirl having the life and experiences denied. I'm just visualizing a me having to wear a smart white blouse with a diagonal cross striped tie, white knee length socks and close fitting navy blue knickers underneath my gymslip.
I'd look really smart walking to school and between each classroom and no doubt subject to inspection to see I'm properly dressed to their rules and you know what?
I'd of of gladly complied!

School Lessons

Sometimes even talking about lingerie can lead to all manner of assumptions such as do you have a knicker fetish or other kind of a kink.
Nobody ever really  talked to me about uniforms never mind that whole list that a school prospectus had of all your kit such as day uniform, PE kit, shoe colours never mind that some schools dictated what kinds of underwear you had so I'd never really given it a thought.
Given that the little girl has coming out and now wearing uniform - see Joanne's Uniform pt 1 - I ditched some well worn pairs and had some traditional Japanese  plain but cutely cut cotton ones  from Minky.com (they had an Ebay store but the paypal is messed up there) which are quite in keeping the the LG schoolgirl I am.
These would work with white PE type shorts too.

But really I thought the best thing would be get some regulation elasticated legged gym knickers which are hard wearing, comfortable, modest and just the kind of knickers you had at a girls boarding school.
These also would be bottle green which would go with my uniform well and being uniformed seems to agree with me. Maybe it's the comformist in me or just finding too many choices too much?


One thing I can recall about school apart from dinner and games is that sadly we'd have some emotional moments that tended to linger especially if like me you were in a boarding school.
Usually these things would start with a group of girls undertaking some activity together but every so often one would somehow do something that the others felt uncomfortable with  and before you knew it we were at "If she stays, we go" which wasn't very nice although sometimes you felt the girl in question was kinda asking for it.
Now I don't care much for people I consider friends making me chose between them even if sadly for one activity one of them  might need to be not in on it for everyone's well-being (we do have to learn to compromise a little) as a group and in our school there was no chance of running away from it all.
I guess we learned to get by because in a sense we had no other choice and sometimes we'd offer our personal support to another privately and try to avoid making a scene because we know we'd only hurt each other that way  regarding each other as sisters and even siblings have their fallings out.
There are times I think we need to consider how deal with these disagreements so we can contain them while being able to be friends chatting to each other and nobody feels they are being forced to chose between friends.
Let's think about it, eh?

My uniform

I had discussed the notion of uniforms before, not least on this blog and more recently on girltalk as it appears different girls have a different and sometimes a choice of looks depending on how they themselves and their roles in an 'age-play' context with some being more the dressy sort and others not.
To me a function of having something outside of what in a more Adult setting I have say for work is to help me make a switch so that when say I'm in chat I look like the Middle with a little side I feel so I resemble that girl talking away or when I'm doing more middlish, littles things.
Being transgendered and thinking more forward I have a lot of things like the sort of blouses you'd were say for work so I thought about something like a school uniform and indeed they are white.

It's also the case my strongly felt need to be spanked and disciplined is routed in that junior experience, the one that in so many ways is in my inner child that having and wearing a uniform I associate with it makes sense.
I will be wearing a grey juniors pleated skirt with red top over the blouses together with white socks. I'll also be in traditional plain school knickers just like I was back then when at my junior school they'd spank me over them which in hindsight I appreciated.
This I think is going to be good for me.

Ms Jo's spanking needs II

The Short Sharp Shock Spanking differs completely from a punishment spanking. Although it is also a punitive disciplinary measure, it does not offer the same deep cathartic cleansing from the aftermath of a Punishment Spanking.

The SSS Spanking is, however, very effective at immediately nipping the problematic behaviour in the bud. The misbehaving woman is spanked instantly without any preparation or ceremony. She will immediately have her skirt pulled up and panties yanked down, as her Caregiver applies a swift, firm spanking to her bottom. Such a sharp reminder is often very effective with habitual misbehaviours such as swearing, or nail biting. Bad habits such as these may have gone many years unnoticed and as a result have become deeply entrenched and hard to eradicate. The SSS Spanking will condition the woman to equate her misconduct with sharp pain, so that she is reconditioned to behave in an acceptable manner.

For me, if it may be more difficult to administer in certain contexts, just hitching up my skirt  and being spanked across my panties firmly immediately would work.

Ms Jo's spanking needs

Techniques to use on me 

Stress Relief spankings are implemented when the woman is stressed. The woman need not have done anything wrong (so far) but may be on the edge of misbehaving by losing her temper. The spanking not only alleviates her stress, but it also prevents her from receiving a Punishment Spanking caused by argumentative behaviour or other negative moods from building up.
Submission Spankings are also known as “just because” spankings. The woman will receive a spanking for no particular reason than just because the Caregiver decides to spank her; or just because the Caregiver feels that she may benefit from receiving a good spanking. Submission Spankings, as the title depicts, will help a woman with her submission to her Caregiver. These spankings will leave her with no doubt that she is subject to her Caregivers authority. Submission Spankings are also sometimes referred to as reminder spankings. They are very beneficial in reinforcing the woman’s submission and reminding her of her obedience and respect to her Caregiver. 

Brief changes for the girl 

Part of the experimentation around presenting that is going on involves changing my underwear as the person who is pushing my buttons has decided to put me in soft  plain underwear with lace detail to bring out more of the Princess in me.

It's also quite interesting to find I actually enjoy this being dressed by another which underscores my more submissive side even though I was a willing party in all this and yes they feature in my spankings.

Knicker lore

Even your everyday lingerie isn't about you in school or at least wasn't in the schools I attended

They set out in the uniform policy the colour and brand you were wearing five days a week nothing remotely appealing to boys with very modest cuts and they too were subject to inspection so if you thought you were above the teachers, you'd be spanked for that too.

More changes for the gurl

Summer time and we're taking stock of being more open about who I am from its hidden days and the odd misstep along the way as it affects this blog and its' readers.

Being 'sissy' is controversial in that it avoids flying under flags of convenience, just saying you're Trans or perhaps going down an outward route of transition even if when it comes down to it you don't see yourself as an woman which in law you would be even if you do have as I do, a very much major "littles" side.

To me it's about intellectual honesty even if every sissy does it differently you're not coveting what a transexual feels that she is a women born in the wrong body, you just wish to gender present as you feel including your sexuality connected sides.

My little side is more schoolgirl but something more kawaii and more overly feminine features in my more regular older self image rather like this, decorative because I love dressing to be noticed and to feel pretty.

Part of the experimentation around presenting that is going on involves changing my underwear as the person who is pushing my buttons has decided to put me in soft  plain underwear with lace detail to bring out more of the Princess in me.

It's also quite interesting to find I actually enjoy this being dressed by another which underscores my more submissive side even though I was a willing party in all this.

Cut out fun

This is what I loved doing back in the 1970's, cutting clothes to dress the girl in taking care to do the tabs that you use to keep the outfits on the body whereas with a physical doll you put them over body.

The interest I showed around putting together looks that reflected my idea of femininity and how rather be dressed was an early indication of the extent to which being a sissy was very much part of me, resembling but not being that girl and that sometimes it was more "girlie" than girl peers at the time.

You can call me a Sissy. It's okay.