Drop that old disguise

 

There are times when I feel the best thing for any little would be to toss aside the many layers of sophistication we may of felt pushed in the direction of while trying to cover over this side of us such as the fascination in being on top of news and celebratory gossip.

Just switch off the phone and computer, put on simple outfit like a pinafore dress and place yourself on a largish bed or the floor with some plushies, simple blocks with letters or patterns and a colouring book and let it all out in play.

Be engrossed in it, make "silly" noises, create dialogue for your toys while you play.

 Go on nature walks skipping, jump in a puddle, even try writing a note to your grown up side telling them just how you feel about being hidden.

The only you that matters is the authentic one.

Looking ahead

It's summer not that you'd associated this time of year with just what it is bouncing off the windows this morning as I get on with typing this up.

Summer brings thoughts around Holidays and times away very much in mind as in the past we'd go on a picnic together towards the end of the month out of doors so you'd have to be a little discrete when it comes to how you show your little side with all the "muggles" about with family and that but it was fun.

That would include taking lots of tips such as those shown above.

Foot spray was certainly something I and others used in the office  to cool and freshen up our feet

Packing should I be getting away in July is another with restrictions on the absolute number of items I can carry and the weather.

Like most of 2018 it was so hot it was thin tops and light gingham dresses on near enough all the time apart from outdoor sports.

I suspect it'll be looking at the long range forecast and hoping for the best.

Convictions and the elephant in the room

Well last week had a lot of polly ticks of the hypothetical apples to oranges, what if stuff going on  which I decided to tune right out of of the sort I could in the Sixth of written a decent essay pulling apart the basis of.

When I was "on fire" then I'd be hitting the B's to A minus's on the grades preferring to make a case for one point of view than trying to create some "approved" consensus that never really came down on one side.

I really disliked the stillness of those official positions with a lack of real passion and vim so it was little wonder I liked people like Margaret Thatcher and Tony Benn back then cos they knew what they believed in and made their points accordingly.

I'm more for being being how you feel and expressing, certainly within polite boundaries, just how you feel about things.

I can't fake my emotions.

It's one thing to be with people in certain contexts such as family events where that event has nothing directly to do with how you feel about certain people and events and what matters more is having respect for the person you all are joining.

It's really quite another where it seems people suggest that groups sit in judgement of others, assessing their contributions, what and why they are truly there, who feel it is quite in order to volunteer a person who has been so unwell they have had to take medication and go bed for physically demanding chores upon just getting up to eat with a struggle some food on the basis they haven't done much?

And it isn't even their place to???

But then if you were to make a point of ensuring they did know so that no one could say "how was I to know, I don't read minds" then all you get is "you know all you talk about is you and your needs" and so it goes.

Something most autistic people get all the time as if it all comes back to us and our being a problem for them and yet at no one point did anyone who had authority ever call you over for a "bit of a chat" and seem happy with you.

So who or what is the problem???

May intro

 Monday was a bank holiday in these parts so no skool!

I've been working on a quiz should I get away July to tie in with the theme of the get together.

I say should for a few reasons, one being honestly after everything that happened in late January whole chunks of memory about what I was doing before seem to have gone missing in action so I don't even know I was "down" as in on a list to go as normally you get names and numbers to sort out rooms and that.

It's not that pay if it is I am going is a problem, sufficient to say there's more than enough in the account to write a cheque out without a problem just it's like living with memory loss and never being really sure of anything.

That I imagine will work itself out one way or another.

The other is putting a permanent hiatus on a very messed up Tumblr account with an blog that can't be posted on and very limited functionality on any others such as being unable to like posts from them and redirecting to a fully functional replacement.

I think over the years a habit of their of putting layers of code directly over the top of older ones and missteps by them have left it really messed up.

The stuff that comes back

The last week was interesting with all the egg consumed by the end of the weekend where at another site I admitted to a rather anti authority period when the magic of just entering ones teens coincided with the apex of one of the most controversial bands career that just swept you away with that whole two finger up salute to the system, railing against anyone and everything when not spitting a lot

It's not moving from fairly compliant ten and eleven years to feisty, gobby teens isn't unknown just the short term intensity of it as you revolved around different expectations that you didn't feel and have no interest in.

To me it might as well of been like being left in another country to fathom out what the hell I was really meant to be doing and it still feels foreign to me to be honest.

I just lick an ice cream now.
 

Easter edition

 

 Given how things have been of late we are continuing with last years "new" tradition.

It was almost Bunny Time as it is Easter a few days ago which like many of our traditions does go back to pagan times even if the 'shell' is wrapped around the Easter Story and message in the Bible with it's message of enduring hope for the world following the resurrection.

For some of you no doubt it's the chocolate you go for as much as I do both and things like Easter Egg Hunts are happening no doubted aided by the need to recover from all we've had in the last two and a bit years and Brownies/Guides are taking part in easter themed activities too which is relief given how much girls have been impacted mentally by this pandemic.

I'm sure many will find some comfort in new old rituals.

This is one Mommy presented to me Sunday morning as that's Easter Sunday in the Anglican calendar for being good. I can see the dishcloth coming out if I get too stickified in chocolate if not "something else" !!!

HAPPY EASTER!

How we see things

Life does throw a curve ball at times like last week and I'm not fully recovered as of yet although your concerns are much appreciated here as much as I do expect the Easter Bunny to be about towards the end of the week.

Like I have been good, resting, although I haven't felt much up to anything else shall we say.

There are parts of me that do align to the spirit of things like Girl Guiding contrary to what perhaps some might expect with things like the promise and trying to be the difference making things the best you can in what is at times a very challenging world.

Trying to put the emphasis more on what you can give and the difference you can make apart from trying to be responsible is a thing worth encouraging and supporting.

In a better childhood, things like Rainbows,Brownies and Guides might of featured building on strengths and better grounding me.

It sometimes troubles me that adults tend to look such things as either a bit "iffy" or just as a trope for adult content.

In the Spanking Era some of us went through it was the case you might be subject to some sort of discipline while in a movement such as girl guiding or scouts although as I understand it there were rules at least in part for the protection of Leaders if not their charges even if sometimes things may of gone "off rules".

The focus of your being a guide or scout was what you did, the fun you had and rather less on any sanctions that might of come your way, never mind "wanting it".

It goes without saying the Modern Era is rightly more strict about professional conduct, very strict on inappropriate conduct and rule breaking, following current conventions.

Guess what I'm saying is whatever you do, try to keep foremost the good volunteers are doing taking Guide and Scout packs respecting how that helps your community and raise children and young people. Not creepy people who want to get off on what no one should.