Reflections on being paddled

To avoid ANY doubt this is going to feature in my life from now on as the Wooden Paddle is an implement one of my disciplinarians has made plain is part of the CP Tools to be used on me seeing how effective it proved in late may.

 It's also very obvious the thing that has to change their behaviour now more than ever before is me as reflecting on mentoring and the role of spanking within it. I also know what a good paddling feels like!!!
I suppose the first thing I would say is not being aware how many swats I was going to get was different, finding myself focused exclusively on the lesson my bottom was being taught, with no possibility of gritting through it. Emotionally, I found myself letting out ows freely, acknowledging my feelings where in most other types of discipline I shut them down which one reason spanking works well with me.  I process it emotionally so much better.
Another thing that came from this was it has been decided I shall be caned which was never a part originally of this in extreme cases for extra deterrence which wasn't a million miles removed from what I had in upper juniors and high school. 
Submitting my younger self to the authority of a grown up felt very comfortable, even in a way protected although from now on I’m to be spanked very much when they feel I require it without exception.
Sometimes people might say “aren’t you embarrassed by it”? My honest answer to that would be no because in most sorts of relationships there are common understandings  if not rules  about how things are done and things happen to those in them if they are not  respected. Often there are consequences such as not being invited to things again, being pushed out of a group, the only real difference here is it’s pretty much a child like consequence to which the offence that caused it is forgiven afterward. I’d rather take a spanking and in time change my behaviour than be just cast out and too many folk cast me out in the past rather than teach me the rules in the first place.
Equally it doesn’t matter to me a sizable chunk of my friends know  I’m held to account and that I am spanked because it’s like during your childhood -it’s a common playground currency – and they accept it’s better to learn from it, deal with situations better and be a bit more mature. With me we know it’s impossible to do fully adult for medical reasons but it’s not quite rocket science to help me act more like a responsible child instead is it?

More on the past

Not a bad start to the week with some sunny weather so the layers have been able to come off but I've been thinking a bit about the past as that's so tied to my present in many ways.

 

We had a uniform to wear to school which I loved wearing so much that unto several years back  I actually still had my original school tie and school was a place I felt very secure in with its rules and routines, more secure than at home.

I did have some very bratty times however of this this is worrying close to how it was as I did throw stuff about, write on the chalkboard  and so on. As was the way at the time, I did end up over a few laps at the time for it which worked well with me.

 When I was at school you were often swung by girls and looking back on it, you learned to trust your friends through that play.

Games were often played in the yard as we only had a tiny field marked out with chalk. You always wiped yourself down with soap and paper towels as our facilities were poor.

Hopscotch was quite popular as was kiss-chase and we'd mark out the playground for it as was skipping which I loved playing up to my mid teens.

An unforgetable spanking

Yesterday something happened to me that I never expected. You all know how from this year onwards I’ve been mentored, given love some good guidance about handling situations and myself  and how I am held to account from now on and am spanked  to help my behaviour and attitudes so I not before time act more maturely and that is the odd relapse apart working so well in turning me around.

 Well I was staying with a friend and when we got talking I mentioned about this and how I found it so helpful and it happened this person does spank other people who are happy with it.
I asked them if they’d be prepared to discipline spank me when they felt I was in need of it as one of my problems is trying to deal with me by rapid scolding with lots of words just doesn’t work for me and I sometimes I really get things wrong when I’m with them.

 Much to my surprise they agreed to and knowing me in my little side seldom in anything other than my schoolgirl uniform for a good period of time, I trust them. Well, having had breakfast something happened or rather it didn’t  as one of things is I’m meant to help out when I’m with them and I didn’t get started helping with washing up 

  After making a start on helping with a stern prompt, I was called back by them who was sat on an open armed chair, standing to the side of them as I was to put my arms around them at which point I was told to bend over their knee as they showed me the wooden paddle.

 Having been helped in position, I feel the hand on my back as my skirt is lifted,and their hands gently warming up my bottom as I’m laying there unable to  do anything as my knickers are  adjusted to expose my bottom.

 Without warning I feel the first stroke land, I scream, squirm and sob  as with every stroke I feel the force of the paddle coming down. I do the spanky dance without realizing it, legs dancing off the floor but I am reduced to the powerlessness of a child  having  to take her spanking and the ever hotter feel of my bottom burning as it turns a deep shade of red but it never stops until she’s done with me.

 Eventually and equally without prior notice it stops and I am told to stand up where with no thought, I just put my arms around them thanking them  for spanking me and  agreeing my bottom needed it while I feel at that moment just like a real child punished by an aunt.

 A new bond is formed between  ‘child’ and grown up friend as immediately afterward we just get back to everything cos I’ve been forgiven, this is the past but I know it’ll happen again if I  mess up.

 Everything just felt natural, unforced coming into place and really this was one of the best experiences when it comes to disciplining me in  a way that is effective without confusing me.

Meadowland III

After the last  more heavy weight entry I thought I'd write something a bit different today.

To me, as much as we talk about the active, doing things, like the places we travel to, the things we undertake there are times when you need something that's more reflective, enabling you to think through the stock of experiences you'd had.
They may not be just those of the last few days or weeks even but from way back in time because those past events have helped shape us and do influence to a point how we see both ourselves and the things that are currently happening in our lives.
So time spent away from the immediate hear and now, albeit online activity or face to face in favour of time in a secluded pleasant place well away where we are able to let our mental guard down and just think at length free from interruptions is beneficial.
Standing, watching local meadowland is one thing I find that helps and it sums it up in that at first glance it doesn't look that busy but when you really get to focus in, you see a lot of small connected things happening.
I think learning to discern things, identifying patterns is very desirable in itself.
*Photo by me.

Reasons why a Little may be silent

This image is really important not least for Caregivers.

"I want to be a betterer girl"

I do wish I felt better today and will be resting after doing this but I woke up also with a bit of an idea for a post.

Sammy write something a few days back about her emotions and how she feels about herself the other day that struck a chord with me.
When we think of 'naughty' what we usually are thinking of is the girl (or for that matter boy) who is mean to others.
It may be that you set out to upset someone by saying unkind things about them and the things that matter to them, you pull their hair, pour paint all over their art or ruin their toys.
That might come from feeling insecure in the presence of someone who either is popular or who has something we feel ought to be ours and needs to denied the pleasure from them.
Most of us can relate to this either as one who did this the odd time or were on the receiving end of it and personally I get it both ways although it is many years since I last did anything naughty in that sense.
Sometimes arising from that childlike sense of wonder and excitement  we can more  thoughtless, we dash and maybe collide hurting each other when it would be more sensible walk slowly instead, we attempt to do something that sounds like fun but oblivious to risks involved for ourselves and others and so on.
On the the other hand there are other things that may have continued from an early age, such as not appreciating what others may do for us, feeling very much World must conform to and supply our immediate needs with a pout and a stomp.
You may feel the best way of getting what you want is shouting over anybody who has the audacity to question or just fail to give total support.
Although starting something can be daunting just putting things off because we'd sooner not or prefer to do more enjoyable or possibly have a lazy streak even doesn't help us and may not help those we are are close to like partners, work colleagues or friends who rely on us especially when we agreed to do them.
In effect sometimes we self sabotage things.
It's no secret to some of you I share some of these traits which I'm getting quite a bit of support in overcoming because they hold me back when I could be that much more effective and responsible.
There's nothing wrong in wanting to be a betterer girl if you're prepared to accept some growing pains and maybe your present issues aside you've the maturity to see it.
If that's you, go for it.

Rest

The bright sunny start of the week as anticipated started to fade but nonetheless it's great to be out in the fresh air away from Status updates and the like just switched off, relaxing, in your hello kitty stuff.

One advantage of being in this part of the North-west Midlands is easily access to open countryside even if some of it is uneven due to severe subsidence from Brine Extraction that caused the plant and a good number of properties around this location to sink into the ground.
Quite often you can see a variety of different birds flying overhead, moths and butterflies about over the adjacent meadowland and the swans by the canal looking rather graceful with their young.
No surprises then that's where I rush to for an hour or so of peace and quiet.
Last night I spent sometime switched off listening to  Chamber music by Fauré - I'm going through a French composers phase at the minute - care of my music player totally engrossed in it. So peaceful.
*photo by me.