Feeding the affections

Well-being is a theme that's been very much on my mind for the last week or so ago as I've posted at certain places around in differing ways but what sorts of things can lead us easily into it?
Typically very tactile experiences such as petting an animal which may be at say a petting zoo  or you own cat, dog or other creature such as a hamster  often is a way of letting go of certain feelings and emotions we are feeling.
Sometimes though it can be animal itself that initiates to doing things that makes us happy, such as sitting on your lap or climbing onto your shoulder.

I'm hardly unique in that I find human affection really helpful such as soft affectionate cuddles, an arm around a shoulder if I'm upset all helps.
Hair strangely enough is something that does too from having it brushed, washed, cut and say braided or otherwise put into a style so it's hardly surprising I feel much better from  going from the hairdressers in itself never mind how the actual appearance helps me feel, adding to my confidence.

Being responsible in a crisis

It has been a trying start to the week and I think it matters to me that I talk about this without naming names because there are some lessons in here and it helps with processing it.
It isn't always easy to make friends especially online so the appeal of a ready made circle who when you read about them on page sound very much about what you like and also are about - age regression - is strong.
You are welcomed and shown how to find members so after a while you start to share pictures of cute things or calming 'stimming' moving images although you find some seem to hostile similar people with different group names but you're caught up  enjoying it.

Then yesterday I came to read a page by a leader of the group who calls for all these other groups and some adult kink ones to kill themselves which really worries me so I go the the  group page where the people in charge called moderators answer questions and I find three people in or group have said they are very upset about it.
I find the moderator swears at them for questioning it, condones that remark and goes to accuse anyone who isn't comfortable with that a person into adult kinky stuff and worse.
I start to feel sad, crying hugging my teddy as it's one of the nastiest mean things to say to people who it seems to me are so like us and I am struggling to think what to do.😢
I find the people they not like and leave an anonymous message saying what group I'm from and I saw this so they can find it and ask them to please do something as our group doesn't look or feel a safe place anymore not just for us but anyone. 
I see someone from them contact a register of groups saying what I'd saw and asking them to be put on list of not safe groups and why.
I decided to change my group, blocking the person who baited the other group and left on their page a message saying who I was and why I'd left my group for theirs which hurts but as this upset me so much I think for my own safety I need too.
It troubles me that I was linked by being with our group to what was said so I apologize for it to the group I am now  with and hope they will accept that.
I think the lesson the lesson I have learnt is it can be very easy to be taken in, not seeing the attitudes they have toward others and how that spills over into hurtful, threatening behaviour and that I can act on it to protect myself and others.

Something for the road

Something that's not spoken much about is our behaviour on the road both as drivers and attitudes which important we bear in mind the number of incidents and near misses that occur and their impact on others.
For me, as some who is unable to drive for medical/disability related reasons I can have a strong impact  on this because what I do may influence the person who is driving which may include say fiddling with the cars radio settings without permission causing them to take their mind  toward me than the traffic.
It may be that by fidgeting, waving my hands about or starting a conversation that requires recall and a lot of thinking that results in the same as would if we were in a situation and the road conditions had altered requiring more attention but kept on regardless.
That's why I am expected to mind my behaviour whenever I am taken places by my Caregiver or other adults and why if I don't I do get spanked for it.
If you are the car driver, getting into situations such as texting while driving , having detailed conversations  with people it may well pull your attention from the road and more onto the that conversation.
What some people do to manage this is either set up an auto message so anyone getting their mobile is told they're on the road and unavailable or if they do answer using a hands free set it would be just to say they're on the road and please call in x hours time as detailed call about a specific product would refocus their attention away from what matters, their own safety on the road and that of other road users.
Depending on your relationship, you may have it failure to to account of these things may lead to you being spanked as it is a common thing.
Given the carnage we often see and disruption to others being thoughtless can bring, to me spanking for it is justified regardless of any civil action taken following police involvement and loss of points with fines for reinforcing limits both for drivers and those of us who travel with people because we must learn to act responsibly behind the wheel.

What about US?|

At the moment there is a General Election taking place here in Great Britain that I do write a bit elsewhere about but if you were disabled you might well be forgiven for thinking it had anything to do with you at all.
Nobody is actually talking about disabled people, carers and their concerns at all even in things  that do effect us such as education, health care, welfare and transportation which are things we are discriminated in such as 'shared space schemes' that pit blind people against cars getting across roads where tactile paving and crossings are being removed in the belief that by confronting pedestrians against road traffic traffic flows better and that there are less accidents. That's also no good if like me you have good vision but the inability to see and react to oncoming traffic having no idea of traffic speed and prone to just dashing across regardless, often having near misses.
The vexed question of disability benefits, assessments that are widely regarded as joke and wildly inaccurate and managing the welfare of those of us with long term severe disabilities is again not being talked about but do you know who is?
The Hard Worker. What I'd give to be even darn well able to be her so she can be helped out financially followed by The Pensioner whose pensions went up more than any group of people in society not that I'd begrudge ensuring the old are well cared for, far from it actually.
Then there's carers, the people who look after some of us who may be typically older parents or others who do more than make us a cup of tea and do help us with everyday living supervising and assisting us. We need a flexible care system to help us be independent within our limitations so we can everyday things like go out to places at regular times even if for some of us social activities may be better organized within groups.
It's all this conversation we're not having because our politicians are ignoring us which is so annoying because we are voters too that annoys me so much.

*Comments*
I like comments however for a simple easy to understand guideline on commenting do please see the "Comments" page. Thank you.
Also thank you  for the increased number of you reading this blog in its new form.

A tribute to Leo

Every Thursday come rain or shine there was one thing that British schoolchildren looked forward to and even though it is online only today, it is the same and that is the children's comic, the Beano that mirrored chunks of your world with stories about home and school life together with stories from far away lands.

 This is a good example as any of a pre 1990's edition with Dennis the arch menace, his dog, Gnasher up to no good with 'soppy' Walter not that Dennis and his chums didn't get their come-uppance by "the powers that be" which you could say was the message although we all laughed at them.
This comic had a team of cartoonists of which one instrumental member Leo Baxendale died on Thursday, draw the Bash Street Kids and Minnie The Minx who remain even very popular characters. R.I.P Leo.

Welcome to my dorm

A prize of a packet of Smarties for anyway sufficiently awake to spot anything different this week when you tuned in.

Originally when I made this place it was with a very real difference rather like for differing reasons my Big Blog was too compared to "The World of Joanne_chan" but because my life has changed both blogs needed work on them and having gotten the Big Blog sorted for more grown up concerns such as Current Affairs and anything that isn't really  apart of my more regular middly/littles life my attention moved to here as I felt it was a bit messy in places and while more Ouchie things were originally what it was set up to talk about, really it and me have moved on.
This place is called Joanne's Dorm because it's the place I rest, think, if I'm naughty get a spanking and sleep in rather than the rooms where I study, play and be with other people having adventures, following my interests and hobbies talking about that side of little/middle life.
One thing I do find difficult is being able to get a good sense of where my emotions and feelings are cos I tend to blank them out so I don't actually assess how I'm feeling processing them and from that learning from them.
This influences what in the wider sense is my attitude and behavioural responses to situations happens to be so writing here about them helps me do this, taking ownership of them and from that helping me grow up more cos at times my thoughts are more magical or expecting others to solve for me rather than about help me learn to deal with them by myself.
That's what people like my Caregiver try to do too although it is hard when like me you get things jumbled up as they happen so I understand as much as I can about what I did (or failed to prevent) and learn from those mistakes.
That's why of late there's been more writing around this topic not that there will not be any mention of spanking because we all know that is part of my life, to help move me past those very same attitudes and  behaviours I spoke of because they come about from me acting on them and its role is to deliver swift painful consequences so I learn as I am increasingly doing not to repeat them while I also get the guidance to change them other more mature responses to those situations.
What you can say is running through this is really this blog is a place by talking how I feel, what did and the necessary discipline it is all a part of the process of helping someone like me who does have very real limits on our ability and potential to nontheless learn to grow up mentally using our abilities with proper direction so we do learn to be more mature and responsible even though we are and will in many ways remain very much younger than our years and child-like.

*This is where I'll do my growing up*

Feeling good

Post Easter entry after being 'on the nom' , posting off that form after going for a bit of walk today and seeing someone said they were looking at good or positive stories given how things are in  the world right now.

You might wonder about this image but the initiated do know, while it's not something I'd wear all the the time, I have been know to wear short frilly skirts and t shirts which is super brave by my standards even been know to hide in sweaters in the midday sun before now so like I'm a bit braver than you'd think (or for that matter I'd necessarily credit myself with).
That has a lot to do with not feeling for a long time comfortable in my own skin or comfortable about how my disabilities effect my life and how other peoples attempts to 'normalize' me really messed my head up, not helping in creating a mindset very of being somebody else's version of me rather learning how to handling just being myself better.
Learning to open up about this part of my past is helping me not just identify what went wrong and deal properly with the emotions but to move on having actually learned the lessons rather than being stuck in that past.
Dealing with that form brought a lot of things about me to a head because the nature of it is really quite negative  so I would sooner now work with what I can do even with help, even if by necessity I'm treated as the adult-child I am, so I have the experiences that don't just build better, more positive memories from social interactions but also help move me on to contribute more to the lives of others.