Decluttering Jo

To get past many of my problems we need to declutter everything around me like my bedroom to reduce to just that the bedroom of a girl minus any techno stuff and even say a tv so I have a room where there is just my bed, my girlish clothes and maybe a table to study to focus on.
Distractions are in general a bad problem with me, I could stay up watching tv all night and although my computer is a big tower thing downstairs if it was one of the increasingly popular Laptop Computers, if it was in my room  I seriously doubt if I could leave it alone.

What is a Middle

I am what is commonly called in the wider age-play and related World as Middle with a little side which means in everyday terms I have the sort of Headspace, emotions and thoughts more in common with actual children and for me it's more around 12 ish.
In general terms Littles and Middles notwithstanding what they need to do studying or at work, pursue hobbies and interests that  are routed very much in their own experiences in 'childhood'  coming from their 'Inner Child' often with the same intensity and passion that you'd think it was that' child' playing.
Sometimes you may play, draw or maybe colour by yourself or you may meet with others who share the same sense of being 'forever a child' in that sense be it around peoples own homes or by meeting up at venues which are often discrete as unfortunately sometimes families and employers getting completely the wrong idea either disown you or find some reason to fire you not least in some 'sensitive' posts and that's before we bring in the Tabloid press.
For some it begins and ends with just 'the play' for others it may extend into dressing more like the age of the 'child within' while do so with say dresses that wouldn't be far removed  from that of a young girl at a party or play clothes like dungarees or for some of us school wear (and in the UK at least school wear is very much associated with childhood in the form of formal uniforms).
I have a blog which is around this aspect of being a middle while this is really more centred around my emotions and behaviour, how that taps into parent style oversight and what I see as the need for the spankies of my Junior years to return in this whole age-play little/middles life of mine.

Socializing issues

It's an interesting proposition as someone who does struggle with regular socializing because I find it doesn't take much to take me into sensory overload where because I can't cope with the level of emotional input, in effect I shut down.
I do find the level of drama such as you have in offices resembling in some ways school groups and also online communities troublesome and if I don't detach I soon lash out at people where my developmental disabilities soon reveal themselves.

Childhood fiction

One author whose books I grew up with was Enid Blyton who apart from writing who character based series also wrote a number of short stories and one off pieces that have been collected over the years.

This collection assembled by Dean's and Son's in 1965 and in an early 1970's reprint is typical of it being a mixture of short stories, poems such as The Wind and  a few extracts from The Children at Happy House written in 1951.
This is my original copy which I treasure.

My time

This was the era I arrived into the world in  and one that certainly including cats as we had several including Siamese cats that I loved to pet, one the few things that actually helped calm me down although furniture was old fashioned even for the time.
We lived pretty much for stories be they in comics, books or being read on radio or new fangled television that has pride of place in front room.

Team games III

Here go in the last of the current Team Sports series looking at the the time sports I loved  from Junior and High school.
Field Hockey

We're on the case of the ball!

Fielding, what you need to be good at

Overall view as the match is well underway. 

It's no wonder I've always followed the NHL don'tcha think?

Too old for a spanking?

During my mid teens I as asked about "what do you want to us to do if you get into trouble" by Mom who as you noticed side stepped completely the word 'discipline' and actually I said I was quite happy with a spanking not least as grounding when I was even home wasn't a sanction where I couldn't go out by myself  anyway so I was kinda grounded anyway and I preferred to be given a consequence and have the rule I'd broken enforced on me to help me learn it.
It wasn't long before with all that stuff about grown up interests that people started to think I was past childhood to the point that although I longed for adults protecting and correcting me, I became accustomed to the idea that wasn't going to happen.
This may of been okay for a good number of people but the post childhood ways of dealing with me involving lots of talking and reasoning didn't cut it as those were thing I struggled with so I felt more and more 'lost' while having a strong sense of entitlement  because I didn't know where the boundaries were.
The thing that came from the events of the last year and half, is that that attempt to mask over with an adult wrapper  what is in reality a child still and for medical reasons will always be so proved just how wrong that approach was. It ignored who I was for what Others wanted me to be.
A Child.
I AM A CHILD WHO'S AGE IS JUST OLDER BY THE CALENDAR, THAT'S ALL.
Am I too old for a spanking?
I AM NOT TOO OLD TO HAVE MY BOTTOM SPANKED BECAUSE MY NEEDS ARE THOSE OF A CHILD AND I NEED CHILD-LIKE DISCIPLINING THAT INCLUDES BUT NOT NECESSARY RESTRICTED TO IT.
I want you to it clear to me that any manipulation, pouting, and defiant behavior will no longer make an impact at home
I want you instead of over-talking, debating, or explaining, simply give me a consequence and enforce the rule.
Like if I cannot turn off the computer when it is time for bed, there will not be any computer time for me tomorrow night. And until I can show me that I respect the rules, you'll see to it  I will be unable to use the computer.
I don't  want you to entertain any debating, begging, or caving in to tantrums and whining with me
I want you help me realize that I am responsible for my decisions and behaviours. 
I want you to not over-indulge me so I learn to appreciate everything I have, the value of hard work, saving up, that material things are not what truly satisfies me.

 If I'm in need of a spanking, I want you to give me it.