Taking stock

 

The events of the last six weeks remind me about some of experiences I had not just when I was younger but even as (on paper at least) an adult and as painful as that is I'm gonna talk a bit about that.

To be disabled, that's to say you have conditions that compared to many leave you at at such a less of function your abilities are significantly impaired that they are classed as 'disabilities' that they prevent or make very difficult is bad enough.

What often makes life harder for you is both how it is people simply won't do anything that may even be a relatively easy things to do that would help because  they have this belief that unless you can be just like them you shouldn't be with them as equals which with a few changes can easily be made so.

Some prefer to make up for this by treating you as an object of sympathy, wheeling you out of their space with sweetened tea, biscuits and a pat on the head.

 Others start to act mean, deliberately tripping you up, I had one boy at school who tried to wreak the classroom and blame me cos I couldn't speak very well and if it wasn't for the intervention of one girl who had more guts and morality to speak in my defence to the headteacher, I'd of been facing a caning with a request for my folks to discuss my future at the school too which had I actually of done this would of been deserved but I didn't.

I was assaulted twice by the a couple of the year group beneath me at Junior school once in the playground and once on the route back home for being 'spastic' which as someone with Cerebal Palsy I can't help. I've also been spat at on buses by older boys.

I've been called names by random persons since leaving school, yelling 'Mong', 'Muppet' and the like either as passing on the sidewalk or in through their car windows.

Thing is, as unpleasant and unjustified as each and every one of these are I'm not giving up on being me because my disabilities, the spasticity, the learning and developmental disabilities that have a big impact on my life are me. I own them and I'm not gonna hide from people who wish to exploit or hurt me because  of that.

Fruits Basket

This four DVD set comprises of the first 8 volumes of the Fruits Basket manga in anime form and is packaged in a pop up style box containing the individual DVD's.

This is about the Sohma family who are cursed. However, this is not an ordinary family curse. When a member of the family is embraced by a person of the opposite gender, they transform into an animal of the Chinese Zodiac. The Sohmas' managed to keep the curse private for generations, but when a young girl stumbles upon their secret, life at the Sohma house changes forever. Conflict erupts as Zodiac rivals clash in the most unusual household. Young Tohru Honda must promise the secret will remain her own, or face the consequences!

Disc1: A great transformation? Episodes 1-6

Try imagining if you moved in with a new family and friends... and found out they turn into animals when you hug them.

The first three episodes of the Anime version are take up with the four main characters of the story and an explanation the nature of the Zodiac curse the family are under. The action as it slowly unfolds is genuinely charming - slapstick fighting, side splitting tongue in check dialogue ad romantic comedy.

As the story opens, Tohru Honda is living in the woods in a cheap tent, with only her late mother's photo for company. One day she wanders down to a large house nearby, and encounters the flirtatious Shigure Sohma, and his gorgeous cousin Yuki -- the school's mysterious "Prince." After Tohru becomes ill and her tent is destroyed, Yuki and Shigure take her into their home as their new housekeeper.

But Yuki and Shigure are keeping a secret from her. When martial-artist Kyo bursts in to fight Yuki, Tohru tries to stop him -- and the three men end up turning into a dog, a cat, and a rat. Their family is cursed with the thirteen spirits of the Chinese zodiac, and they turn into those animals whenever a member of the opposite sex hugs them.

Surprisingly, the mysterious family head Akito allows Tohru to stay with Yuki and Shigure, as long as the volatile Kyo also stays. And soon she starts encountering new problems -- the intermittently crazed Kagura (the boar) invades the house, Yuki and Kyo trash the house, and Tohru's pals Hana and Uo come for a sleepover. But when Tohru's grandfather calls her back to his house, will the Sohmas lose their new friend?

Tohru herself is the most lovable character of the bunch -- she has a lot of sorrow over her mother's death and the unkindness of some of her relatives, but she compensates with optimism and friendliness. And the Sohmas rule as far as quirkiness is concerned -- there's the shy, strong "Prince" Yuki, the volatile loner Kyo, and the charmingly kooky Shigure ("Sometimes it feels like the whole world is conspiring to destroy my house!").

This first volume may start a little slow however once the storyline gets underway the quirky sweet-natured comody of lovable characters is revealed in its glory.

Disc2: What Becomes of Snow? Episodes 7-12

Having introduced use the the four main characters the following episodes reveal a darker side mainly from Hatori's tragic past, and the revelation of just what a lonely, painful life many of the zodiac members lead. Even the younger ones like Haru aren't immune, since we see that he was often mocked for his animal's part in the old zodiac folktaleide .

"Fruits Basket, Volume 2: What Becomes of Snow?" introduces us to three new members of the Sohma family, as well as a look at how the mysterious Akito rules over them. But despite these darker moments, the series never strays too far from the warm-hearted comedy and appealing characters.

Our leads are all involved in the school's Cultural Festival, despite Yuki's distress at having to wear a dress. But then two new Sohmas show up: bubbly rabbit Momiji, and the chilly Hatori, who tells Tohru to meet him at the Sohma main house -- alone. Despite Tohru's nervousness, she obeys -- and finds out the painful facts about Hatori's past, and the isolation felt by cursed Sohmas.

When New Year's rolls around, Tohru and her friends help Kyo and Yuki clean the house, while Shigure torments his hysterical editor Mii. They're expected back at the main Sohma house, but the boys are reluctant to leave Tohru alone. And a school endurance run is interrupted by Haru Sohma, who is determined to fight Kyo -- but their battle is interrupted when Yuki collapses.

Then Valentine's Day comes around. Tohru has chocolate for everyone (literally), Yuki is stalked by his fangirls, and Kagura is busily trying to feed Kyo a chocolate heart the size of his head. And a month later, Momiji repays Tohru's favour by giving her an extravagant gift -- a trip to a hot spring.

We also get to see some different sides of Tohru and her friends -- for instance, it's revealed that despite her outward cheery demeanour, Tohru is at times very lonely for her mother. Yuki continues trying to come out of his shell, while Kyo gingerly tries to overcome his social awkwardness. The "plum on the back" scene ends up being adorable because of this.

We are introduced to meet some new Sohmas, particularly Haru and Hatori. Haru has a dual personality -- one placid and serene, one violent and lecherous -- and a tumultuous past with Yuki while Hatori comes across as the most tragic figure thus far, convinced that he is doomed to loneliness, and haunted by what happened when he dared to love someone.

Disc3: Puddles Of Memories Episodes 13-19

Following the ending of disc 2 with the revelation that Hatsuharu and Momiji would soon be attending high school with the others, it's not surprising that the high school hijinks ensue once these weird teenagers join the student body. And though there's plenty of goofiness from Yuki's fangirls and his long-estranged brother in "Fruits Basket Vol. 3 - Puddles of Memories," it has some very bittersweet themes in many of the episodes. For a series with such a sparkly happy heroine, it's remarkably dark.

The first day of school gets off to a rocky start, with Momiji dressing like a girl and Haru getting into a "black" bustup with the pompous class president. But then the news arrives that Akito is about to visit the school -- and Tohru bumps into the mysterious head of the Sohma family. Although he's pleasant and warm toward her, she catches a glimpse of the true, malevolent personality behind the mask.

If that wasn't enough more members of the zodiac pop out of the woodwork -- a snake slithers up Tohru's dress, and is revealed to be the flamboyant, eccentric Ayame Sohma, Yuki's estranged big brother, who is now trying to make amends for his past behaviour. And then Haru introduces Tohru to a very bitey little tiger cub, Kisa Sohma. Kisa has been ignored and tormented by her peers until she stopped talking, and now only Tohru's love and Yuki's understanding can draw her out of her shell.

Elsewhere we learn Tohru contracts the flu right before a big test, Shigure sweeps his friends off to a weekend at a lake house, the gang visits the grave of Tohru's mother, and Tohru learns of the cheerful Momiji's tragic past. Plus in one hilarious episode, Yuki's fangirls scheme to infiltrate Hanajima's house so they can take out the "witch" Tohru but not to worry Hana and her little brother have some surprises in store...

"Fruits Basket" has always been a series that is rather bright and sunny in its overall outlook, but the short-term stories always have some darker, sadder dimensions. In particular, the third volume delves into Yuki's past abuse at Akito's hands, a parent who abandoned their cursed child, and some closure to Hatori's story of his tragic lost love. And there are hints of a dark connection between Tohru's late mother and Kyo.

The writers successfully transport Natsuki Takaya's bittersweet scenes into anime, such as an adorable scene where Tohru hugs Momiji after he proclaims that he wants to believe that every memory is important, even the painful ones. Even Ayame -- crazy, flamboyant, and utterly self-absorbed -- gets a few poignant moments as he reflects on his own past selfishness.

These episodes also introduce us to the most priceless character in all of "Fruits Basket" -- Ayame the crazy, flamboyant, self-absorbed, lecherous, hyperdramatic seamster. Not only is it completely surreal whenever he's onscreen ("They may direct their desire towards ME!"), but he has his own brand of poignancy -- he tries so hard to connect with Yuki, but fails so hilariously. Kisa sure is a little sweetie, but she's understandably overshadowed by her older cousin.

Yuki and Kyo also experience some growth in personal character in these episodes.

For instance we see Yuki freezing when confronted by his former tormentor, and struggles just to be in the same room as his brother and yet we also see him trying to be stronger despite his flaws. Kyo's klutzy attempts to help Tohru - including making the hated leek soup - show his growing feelings. Also Momiji, a character even sunnier than Tohru, is revealed to have a past even more horrible than hers.

Disc4: The clearing Sky Episodes 20-26
At this the dead end of the anime series more zodiac members are introduced to Tohru and more madcap comedy ensues (courtesy of Ayame and the demented fanclub), but it reaches new heights in the final two episodes -- where Tohru's love and kindness are faced with new obstacles.

Yuki and Tohru make a weekend trip to Ayame's special clothing shop, and are promptly swept up into Hurricane Ayame, who is all too happy to regale Yuki with every detail of his oddball business. Can the brothers manage to bridge the gap that separates them -- and what exactly is "The Thing" that Ayame's girlfriend is dressing Tohru in?

Plus Tohru is confronted by a pair of new zodiac members. First she encounters Hiro, the antisocial "sheep" who resents her friendship with Kisa and then she meets the beautiful, hyperapologetic daughter of the hot spring lady, Ritsu... only to discover that Ritsu is actually a very effeminate young man, who suffers from self-esteem so low that it dips below Atlantis.

As Ritsu drives Kyo and Yuki crazy with his screaming apologies (and is teased constantly by Shigure), it's up to Tohru to help him regain some hope. Finally, the president of Yuki's fanclub is haunted by her impending graduation, only to find herself in conversation with the "prince" himself. Unfortunately, her jealousy wells up in front of him -- and she has to face the ugly truth about her own feelings.

It isn't long before the story takes a truly dark turn when Kyo's beloved master Kazuma arrives at Shigure's house, and reveals a horrifying facet of Kyo's curse -- a ghastly transformation that horrifies anyone who sees it. And as she struggles to help Kyo, Tohru begins to learn the reason for Akito's anger and hatred.

"Fruits Basket, Volume 4: The Clearing Sky" doesn't so much end the series as hit pause -- the curse remains unbroken and the love triangle is still unresolved. As a sort of series climax, the writers even scripted in a harrowing encounter between Tohru and Akito, which gives the series the vague feeling of having been finished.

Before that end, we get "Fruits Basket's" signature mingling of heartwarming comedy and bittersweet drama. There are plenty of roiling emotions -- jealousy, loneliness, self-loathing -- but with the realization that there's always a glimmer of hope. The wrenching emotions reach a climax in the final two episodes, when the reasons for Kyo's loneliness are revealed, as well as Kagura's mad crush on him. Horror, romance and drama just soak every scene but the humour remais as infectious as ever.

Tohru continues to be a shining beacon at the series' heart -- she's sweet, kind, accepting, and cannot help but try to be kind to anyone, even when Hiro steals her purse and insults her. On the flipside, Kyo's feelings of loneliness and misery are absolutely palpable near the end -- and considering what he turns into, it's not hard to see why.

Actually, all the characters we see are pretty lovable -- Yuki is quiet, cool and a lot tougher than he appears, while Ayame and his girlfriend are insane and quirky, Kisa and Ritsu are adorable, and Shigure is winningly sadistic. Even the deranged hot springs lady appears ("I'm SORRY! I'll do it again! I never should have put myself into the reel! What was I thinking?! I'm SORRY!" "I told him we shouldn't have asked her to come...").
It is in some respects unfortunate that the storyline was not completed in this beautiful, hilarious "Fruits Basket" anime series but that doesn't stop it from being a truly, wrenchingly beautiful end to an adorable series.

The fourth and final volume of the sadly wasn't able to finish the storyline -- but it's still a brilliant finale to a moving anime adaptation.

Spring fashion

For as long as I can remember I've always been fascinated by socks, plain ones such as black grey or white school ones, colourful ankle socks which I did have when I was younger cos my folks at least would be me them and also patterned longer socks.


They are so much young kittenish Jo.

Jo, the Catkin lovin' schoolgirl

Eileen Soper is an illustrator whose works I am familiar with as she did a good number for the many stories Enid Blyton wrote and this is one that I feel is really effective.
Spring you see is very much a part of my life, something that I was immersed in living in the countryside nay even playing in it enjoying the freedom to explore and observe nature in in that see what is inside of me.
The Catkins that start to emerge around this time of year are an evocative childhood memory of mine seeing them on the route into school that we walked along and the nature rambles our teachers had us do, picking things to discuss, draw and  write about in class afterward.
Not being able to out often makes me antsy and defiant not because I feel antagonistic toward people but more its about me trying asset control over  something I can so sometimes making sure I get to go outside helps my behaviour.

My little girl shoes

There's no denying I am very much a 'little girl' in lots of ways although my chronological age is a bit different . These shoes of mine tell you a lot starting with the T-bar which most little and even some older girls shoes always came with before the popularization of trainer and ballet pumps as well as the black colour which was only seconded by brown in most schools. They also come with a heel - a half inch heel - almost like a grown up shoe for a teen to wear at some function where she'd want to look a more mature or sophisticated  but still youngish.
The appeal is obvious.

Uniform inspections for Jo?

We may only be about a fortnight from my birthday but the difference between me and most people isn't getting any narrower, quite the opposite actually.

I do feel there's something to be said for putting me in a full uniform on a daily basis and inspecting it, rewarding when I do a good job in presenting myself properly and adminstering a suitable punishment when I fail to.
Part of my problem in life is I don't care enough about things, I lack self respect not even checking myself in mirror so something like that might help train me up.

Delivering the message

A powerful, well delivered caning that leaves it stinging with burning weals across my bottom is highly effective in motivating me and something no one should be afraid to deliver when the going gets tough.