The rights of developmentally disabled adults

The recent controversy over Lego's Discovery Centre's refusal to admit childless developmentally disabled adults on the basis of a adults with no kids not permitted end of policy puts elements of how people legally by virtue of age deemed adult but functionally not adult requiring caregivers are treated very much into play. Few would question the rightness to put the protection of children first but an 'adult' session was not a suitable replacement for those prevented by this as the situation would be too stressful, lack a child-like feel and given the need for carers not work out as many put those most effected and needing such an experience, would be being put to bed as such a session would be underway. Some pointed out those of us who are like this, are vulnerable ourselves, that many carers are vetted in away parents with children attending were not and that some parents use children to sadly get access to abuse others. As well, as the refused were offered  a pre-booked visit escorted at the same times, capacity nor physical safety wasn't an issue either. Society has a need to recognize our needs and how they can be better accommodated within the rules that are rightly about visitor experience while respecting that in so many ways you just can't lump us in with 'adults'. As much as I dislike labels and labelling, perhaps some legal category should exist with an issued card to make it easier for people to grant appropriate exemptions?

Joanne's Uniform Pt3

I have written a bit about the history of my little side, how that connects with how you are recorded as being one gender but feel you actually are of another and how that connects to your life as mapped by gender ridden institutions, so for me my start point on being a little and specifically the schoolgirl side starts from there.

This entry, the third in this series, is part background capsule and part update of the originals from 2011.

I became a schoolgirl exchanging my drab male uniform therefore at an early age even for brief periods while at school thanks to the girls that helped me change uniform but never really got more started on it as in putting together a full uniform until I'd left formal education.

That uniform has a strong emotional resonance to me as something I desperately wanted to own, take care of and have to wear as that girl I felt so while part of my female exploration centred around the more adult big girl, this whole schoolgirl side which had never really gone away also was a part of it. It did rather confuse me at the time having two different ideas of how I was that female and also some on the big girl side seemed to have issues with even feeling this way.

Although the term and indeed concept of 'age-play'  wasn't one I was familiar with at the time (sometimes it seems I'm playing catch up with things like that), in hindsight that's where the concept of being in a past point in time, role playing a child seems to have taken hold.

So it was around a period of major profession related stress that I started off with experimenting with netball skirts and tops, the whole girly sporty thing in part cos girls sports were what I loved to play, when I was able to talk around folks into letting me be on the team and that I wanted to play in traditional girls sports kit.

I just found the whole experienced dressed as such such a great relaxation not least for feeling I was being a part of the denied me that it was not long before I started looking more into the regular daytime schoolgirl look.

One start point into that was more adult dark goth dresses not least the pinafore type which I wore for a period before encountering online communities of adult little girls and what you might call recreational school based role playing sites and establishments looking more at the latter to try and understand more of the whole role and structure of uniform and what those who had gotten more into that got from it.

Encountering them lead me more into looking into full replica uniforms, that's to say the tops, outer garments such as skirts, socks and smalls that were and in some schools still the prescribed 'you have to wear' brands.
Traditionally one would have worn Pelerine long socks with such a uniform and at one point that was rather more what I was thinking of getting.

 Often they had eyelet patterns that used to fascinate me.

It also lead to an examination in my mind of what sort of age range the schoolgirl I wished to present as was so seeing I felt more middlish -around the ages of 9-12 than the high school sort this lead me to something like UK Juniors uniform comprising of red sweatshirt, grey pleated skirt, white or grey socks with plain t shirt and regulation school smalls and a blue pleated zip fastening games skirt.
This is more documented with pictures in the previous Joanne's Uniforms posts.
When it came to deciding what to do about the subject of the socks as this uniform is something I wear most days, I made one concession to current trends which was to get and wear these

They're the more modern replacement so while they're not replica uniform to what my real life peers had at the time they no doubt what I be wearing today in the same setting.

It's in this uniform as a schoolgirl, I've been out with littles/middles enjoying real life interactions being and playing that schoolgirl I always wanted to be finding life much much more enjoyable.

A few days ago spurred on by a local charity, I went through my wardrobe and noticed those early items that lead to being that uniformed schoolgirl, some that don't quite fit, all seldom worn today and they are to go.

As I have written about on few entries here, the idea around having actual schoolgirl daytime dresses has been with me for a long time and as those Goth variants were to go together with a few other things it was time to decide what to do about it.

Because I so wish to wear an actual schoolgirl pinafore as uniform, I decided to get myself two, one grey and one black to replace them with together with a black pleated elasticated skirt.

Looking back on this whole adventure from over a decade ago, you can say I became the schoolgirl increasingly in her pinafore, being the little I really am. The tide has turned.

Spanked girl

To me you see it's perfectly plain,

my age don't stop me being a pain,

with behaviour like being a child again,

getting in trouble time and again.

When the girl acts like a child again,

her bottom is spanked just the same

learning her lessons along the way

is why it just has to be this way.

Rewinding to ones computing past

I'm not feeling that great today to be honest with what feels like a winter cold coming on that I hope clears in just over a weeks time but be that as it may, I was looking a bit at the statistics Google give you about what posts people read, where they're from, any sites they used to find this blog and so on and one thing that struck me was actually some of you do read the older posts. It was that which got me thinking.

I think must of us are aware of how our experience of the Internet has changed over the years, how that's fed into what we use to access it and the different programs we've had connected with our use of computers.

I suspect many of us have what you call a desktop that after some seconds, comes up often with a colourful design.

Well as some of you have been reading posts from 2008, here's one of mine from December that year that tells you quite a few things.

To start with like now in 2008 I also was in love with Miss Kitty so I made it the main image rather than that bland Windows XP Pro  screen.
Also look at the dimensions specifically the aspect ratio, it's 4:3 that tells you I had more traditional CRT monitor the time compared to the near universal 16:9 or 16:10 Widescreen Lcd ones we have today.

Also, it's resolution is 600x800 which is very low by modern standards.
Looking at the toolbar you'll spot firstly Microsoft were highlighting an urgent security issue with that shield with ! mark and Skype was set up on the machine although I didn't use it much.

Like today you'll spot the Avast antivirus program (the blue ball with an A) that I've always used, a program for a separate webcam I no longer use, the Nero 6 Smartstart cd writing program and Yahoo messenger that I suspect a good number of us had back then as we used Yahoo's services like Geocities, messenger and email. I seldom log into Yahoo today with services from Google being that much better overall.

Also you'll spot a trio of Mozilla Foundation programs such as the browser Firefox which was much better at the time when it came to security and features than Internet Exploder 6  (I.E to some), the email program Thunderbird which I used with a lousy Internet Service Providers (I.S.P.) email services until I moved to web based mail exclusively, that organized my mail and allowed me to have coloured backgrounds and text that help my dyslexia and Sunbird, a desktop based calendar to help me with organizing my life which is effectively replaced now  by the Google cloud based Calendar.

I now use Pale Moon a Swedish forked version of Firefox as my main browser on my laptops and the old desktop is gone!

The keenly eyed will also have spotted the installation files for the free cd copying program, dbPoweramp and the shortcut for music player Winamp both of which are installed and much used on my newer laptops. There was no iTunes installed as the machine was incapable of running it although it was very popular back then.

I wonder how many of view still have pictures of your old desktops and can tell the story behind them?

Crossing into Big Brothers

We've past Halloween and Guy Fawkes Night season, a fixture of my childhood as between my social awkwardness with being autistic and difficulties tolerating the smoke were things I very much looked forward too.

I was fortunate in that I enjoyed very good relationship with my older as much as he did threaten to use a  cane on my hands a few times when I got carried away because he took a very genuine interest in my welfare talking about various changes I was going through, school life and my hobbies and interests some of which such as music we did both share

The one area that we stayed at the "I'm okay,You're okay" stand off was really around gender and sexuality where until recently I didn't know he was gay although I had my suspicions and for that matter he doesn't know about my being trans and very much an Adult Little as much as might be desirable.

I mean Mom, god bless her accepts the little side of me easier than any kind of big trans stuff, somehow she see's developmentally  I've always been more of a child so can live more with that although I haven't told her everything about the meet ups and stuff.

Maybe one day it'll all be out in the open?

On lifestyle (An essay of sorts)

It's a while since I looked at the statistics of this blog, in part cos I think they can be a little misleading at times, but it appears it's had over 51,000 page views since it started and is one of the prominent alg blogs around.
The person who worked out it also could be described as a slice of alg  life blog got that right because its coverage is broader than just about me being a little/middle it's also about the life and how I see that from it.

For I suspect most of us, this life in its differing aspects such as our child-like interests, sense of dressing more as a little - for me little/middle girl - gender presentation for some and so on comes from within.
Certainly speaking purely personally it's something I've felt for a very long time in my so-called real life even if some individual aspects may of changed over time like my more recent feeling comfortable with the more frillier side of being alg.
It is something that we feel, something that we need perhaps in our lives not that we may not have balance this sometimes with more adult responsibilities like paying the bills and for a good many, needing to work too.
We own that sense of self, working it as best we can to suit our requirements and we're in control of that at all times. In other words we're responsible for our sense of little and where we take it.
This is I feel a bit different than what you may see elsewhere where it's portrayed as being "Forced" although I'd say that's not an accurate description so much as the person doing that is more the one enabling, using psychological suggestions, a sense of wanting to be enabled in the subject as no one can in the everyday sense of the word make you do feel or do something you don't wish.
The person buys into it in other words and I suspect they may not have the confidence to just do it by themselves if that's really them. 
It's a different feeling I think from any sense  of, if you're transgendered, wanting wrongs in the form of gendered presentation to be put aright as being enabled to say attend school in the gender you feel which I can well understand from personal experience.
That's just about you as the child back then, being able to be yourself, the gender you really feel, and to have the childhood involving  play and schooling you deserved and all to often never got although through the miracle of age-play you may well be able to recreate something of it such as at meets or in creating say school based role playing especially if it can be face to face.
All I know is I loved some of these elements at Camp, they made me feel more complete and very happy. Maybe it does for you?

Treated like a naughty girl

For me life can be complicated in that despite being over the age of majority, my grasp of things is often more childlike which can great most of the time but does lead at times into difficult issues with my behaviour spiralling into the more bratty as I can't seem to sense when to pull back for myself.
An example of what I mean is when at a gathering I really started making silly noises in front of Mommies guests and no amount of verbal reasoning was working. I had been brought up with spanking although very infrequent as my folks were divided on it, fighting each other tooth and nail to have the final say so inevitably it seldom got carried out.
Anyway, exasperated from running out of options for dealing with me, she dragged me to a private secluded spot and gave me a spanking -six strokes with her bare hand -with the caution there would be others to come if I didn't behave.
Strangely enough the sensation brought about an instant stoppage as I couldn't ignore the consequences delivered in the way everything else had.
You could say dealing with my childish behaviour by treating me as child who gets a spanking really helps me and am glad I always get one from her now on.
Indeed rather than going through report systems and warnings that only serve to wind me up, I'd much sooner the other real grown ups would just go ahead deliver a spanking, smalls suitable rolled down to ensure I really felt it as it keeps me in check better.