1,300th post

Do you know something? This happens to be1300th post here at The Dorm which is quite a milestone (not a Millstone) in its history.

 Indeed it almost never really got started between pressures from my career and having an early version of a blogging tool that was used for more mainstream "big" posts  and if you really want to know the truth, actually I'd of much sooner just had this one cos it's everything about me.

When I say everything, I mean starting with having this very much childlike (but not childish) little girl side that has never gone away , enjoying the simpler things of life like dolls, teddies, engaging in children's games and interests.

It's taken me to different places, meeting some remarkable people who share the same side mixed in with their more groan up side all trying to balance both sides of themselves and sometimes with having partners too.

It's also the only blog that deals with an important side of my life quite openly, that I am transgendered and how that taps into issues from my own childhood, having an inner girl child and has lead to me presenting as that female both at home and increasingly in the presence of others, something that has helped me an awful lot.

Our community, the alg community, has supported in its own way, me in all of this.
In this blog I do talk from time to time about things such as music, books and anime which have been great interests of mine for a while but in a different way, more from how they tie into my past and the child within me which sometimes by accident has occurred elsewhere as ultimately I can only be me wherever I may post.

To mark the occasion of this 1,300th post we've taken a break as I was editing iD tags for some music files that were messed up before loading in the micro sd card. We all know that stuff often needs sorting.

The countdown before CatMas continues next week.

Chilling little style III

After Monday's write up about the combined Halloween and Bonfire party here is the unexpected follow up.
Whenever people get together, not only do they talk about different things but sometimes they may bring things that for whatever reason they no longer have a use for or perhaps found didn't fit quite right but would rather another had if they could make use of them and this is very true in the Adult Little Girl community.

In many ways as discussed in 2013, this picture which is a part of the same photo series, captures the spirit of the 12ish Middle me, a girl who relaxes sucking her lolipop, stroking her pet and reading a book who may know more of the grown up world but isn't in it as just those things alone are what matters in your world.
 I remember writing in December 2014 around how it was the form of uniformed schoolgirl was going to change as I was to be wearing pinafore dresses with my first outing in one at the Christmas party and how they felt so me.
Pinafore dresses are for a good number of actual schoolgirls, a requirement of their being at school as part of the uniform emphasizing your 'belonging' to that school and the implied acceptance of its rules.
There is a parallel of sorts with me because my caregiver requires me to wear mine not just as an adult middle treated very much as the little but also it does reinforce the acceptance of His rules and any correction that follows. It is MY uniform.
Not surprisingly that is very much how most of the time I've been out with people this year and certainly worn at home with blouses and even a tie!

I have a few school type pinafore dresses now in my wardrobe but was rather surprised to see Matron at GHS had something hanging on the stairwell that she said I could have if it fitted.
Math isn't my strong point -prolly was fitted with Math proof cap early on in life! - and sizing isn't always straight forward  but putting it against me it seemed right.
It was a grey pinafore with a heart shaped front zip but  with a straight skirt section that was a bit thicker than some of mine by Banner so seeing it was a 17/18 I took it back with me.
I put it on after a quick wash on arrival home Sunday coming down the stairs to my folks wearing it with an air of confidence sitting downstairs an having my evening meal in it and they said NOTHING!
It fitted perfectly so I like to thank Matron for her kind offer of it as she understands the importance of Uniforms to middles like me.

Littles dress patterns

I'm in great frame of mind right now so I thought I'd post this set of dress patterns from May 1950 looking a Mother and Daughter dresses and especially the aprons.

Third from the left just feels so me had I'd of been around back then.

One reason I'm feeling so great is a person whose name I shall not say said at a place you'd least expect it - paraphasing as something to the effect 'this blog is the one that really gets what it means to be a little'.
Yes, this one girl publication of many out there is apparently is it!
I'd like to think it's cos it authentic coming direct from 'the little girl within', it doesn't push any one form of being a little and encourages you to be the little you are, as you come to it.
To the person who said that, I am most moved, really I am.

Pinafore dress patterns

Hi, Hi peoples after a few days with a really bad migraine,I suppose you can say expect the unexpected cos I'm feeling very little at the minute with a few chunks of memory temporarily M.I.A. after that.
But anyway I felt like posting a little about dresses (gasp!).

 Most of these patterns are from the late 50's and the 60's and starting from the above while all are really nice, two stick out as potentially me rolled back to the age, the bottom left plaid one and especially the lower middle one in blue with the red ribbon.
I'm not really into 'fussy' designs that probably has something to do with finding dressing at times difficult by myself.

 From the second picture top right panel, that blue dress with the bow looks more the kind of thing I could worn at a party, Alice style as there's just about enough 'pouf' in the skirt to make a pleasant change from school dresses.

 This next set is from 1964 and I think it's the blue one with the detail on the bodice and again I like how the skirt hangs on it.

 Same era and it could be either although I suspect the blue check just edges in with a classic cut preferring an A line to a tube shape.

Fast forward to 1969, and it's the one on the left, bring out the white tights and the ribbon and I'd be in seventh heaven apart from feeling definitely little. And little I am!

And there with have it with aid of missing bits of memory to cut out any internal fighting, I, Joanne, do admit to being a girl who loves dresses.
Darn it the secret's out!
Is there gonna be  a cry of "Can you please sow my button back on please?" next.

Pinafore dresses II

This post goes back to December 7th, 2008 where I talked about what I loved about Pinafore dresses as a style and in particular what that meant to me so I wasn't really sure if a sequel was really called for but seeing that it was a very popular entry on this blog, in a way you dear readers have settled it.
You see I actually wore one at the Littles Party for two days no less and it confirmed much of what I wrote back then.

The first thing to say is I found wearing it extremely comfortable, with plenty of movement in the shoulders and arms which I quite enjoyed.
Also I did wear actual blouses with it which wasn't my original plan but it worked out fine, finding the dressing experience which is something I do find difficult in real life (not that anything in my life isn't) quite easy, getting myself in it and zipping myself up.
As was said by persons whose names I won't mention, actually it does really suit me going on my frame very well and they weren't flattering me as I have to say they were absolutely right about that.
I look as if I belong in them.

It's obvious then that I now know what works so with that, I shall be wearing more pinafore dresses in the future including a black one just like this with a pocket and I will be getting some more white blouses as they just look right under them as that also ties in with more girlization of the wardrobe as nearly everything else is apart from a couple of pairs of trousers regardless of what may happen in the future.
They are me.

Chilling little style Pt II

Remember early last year where I talked about something in Chilling Little Style? The image and the likeness of the "Joanne" a twelve year girl, a part of the past life in boarding school and more? Why even it is desirable for me to remember where I'm really at.

There was even a bit of challenge around the whole notion of Pinafore Dressing me something I never had happen in my childhood, tying in with taking me back to being that child, not unlike 6 thru 12 years in school as in some schools a traditional pinafore dress is more usual although at least in this part of England you tend to see it more with the tens and under perhaps cos the older girls want to be seen as more sophisticated in separates and donning tights, something I didn't see at my school until you were in your mid teens at least.  How times change,eh?

Usually it's something like this - other styles such as box pleats, buttons etc are available  - worn over a piqued t shirt or blouse sometimes with a tie and more often than not with 'regulation' socks either ankle ones for infants or just under the knee 'long' ones for juniors
I did mention to about having the odd one although they were more adult takes on the Pinafore style and I felt like changing them. That 'Alice Band' is a nice touch too.
Well it has finally happened I am to be finally properly pinafored.

It is just like this although I was a bit worried about ordering it as the measurements provided didn't seem to make sense and math isn't my strong point so I measured out the length of a top to where I'd put the skirt over and added the skirt length that looks okay to it in order to check the length by. They also appeared to confuse Waist measurements on the chart with reference to Chest (aka Bust) on the accompanying text but as I don't know of any 4 year olds with 28" waists well that just had to be wrong as looking at children's sizing guides showed.
Anyway it is here, and having managed to take a few measurements by myself just to be sure it does actually fit having tried it on.
As I don't have a caregiver to do this for me, I'm going to put myself into it when I'm in the company of my friends, learning to feel good wearing it as the little I am. I feel it's time having written about this as long ago as 2008  as a few of you have read recently to go with my convictions and come out as that properly pinafored schoolgirl sucking her lolipops.

Joanne's Uniform Pt3

I have written a bit about the history of my little side, how that connects with how you are recorded as being one gender but feel you actually are of another and how that connects to your life as mapped by gender ridden institutions, so for me my start point on being a little and specifically the schoolgirl side starts from there.

This entry, the third in this series, is part background capsule and part update of the originals from 2011.

I became a schoolgirl exchanging my drab male uniform therefore at an early age even for brief periods while at school thanks to the girls that helped me change uniform but never really got more started on it as in putting together a full uniform until I'd left formal education.

That uniform has a strong emotional resonance to me as something I desperately wanted to own, take care of and have to wear as that girl I felt so while part of my female exploration centred around the more adult big girl, this whole schoolgirl side which had never really gone away also was a part of it. It did rather confuse me at the time having two different ideas of how I was that female and also some on the big girl side seemed to have issues with even feeling this way.

Although the term and indeed concept of 'age-play'  wasn't one I was familiar with at the time (sometimes it seems I'm playing catch up with things like that), in hindsight that's where the concept of being in a past point in time, role playing a child seems to have taken hold.

So it was around a period of major profession related stress that I started off with experimenting with netball skirts and tops, the whole girly sporty thing in part cos girls sports were what I loved to play, when I was able to talk around folks into letting me be on the team and that I wanted to play in traditional girls sports kit.

I just found the whole experienced dressed as such such a great relaxation not least for feeling I was being a part of the denied me that it was not long before I started looking more into the regular daytime schoolgirl look.

One start point into that was more adult dark goth dresses not least the pinafore type which I wore for a period before encountering online communities of adult little girls and what you might call recreational school based role playing sites and establishments looking more at the latter to try and understand more of the whole role and structure of uniform and what those who had gotten more into that got from it.

Encountering them lead me more into looking into full replica uniforms, that's to say the tops, outer garments such as skirts, socks and smalls that were and in some schools still the prescribed 'you have to wear' brands.
Traditionally one would have worn Pelerine long socks with such a uniform and at one point that was rather more what I was thinking of getting.

 Often they had eyelet patterns that used to fascinate me.

It also lead to an examination in my mind of what sort of age range the schoolgirl I wished to present as was so seeing I felt more middlish -around the ages of 9-12 than the high school sort this lead me to something like UK Juniors uniform comprising of red sweatshirt, grey pleated skirt, white or grey socks with plain t shirt and regulation school smalls and a blue pleated zip fastening games skirt.
This is more documented with pictures in the previous Joanne's Uniforms posts.
When it came to deciding what to do about the subject of the socks as this uniform is something I wear most days, I made one concession to current trends which was to get and wear these

They're the more modern replacement so while they're not replica uniform to what my real life peers had at the time they no doubt what I be wearing today in the same setting.

It's in this uniform as a schoolgirl, I've been out with littles/middles enjoying real life interactions being and playing that schoolgirl I always wanted to be finding life much much more enjoyable.

A few days ago spurred on by a local charity, I went through my wardrobe and noticed those early items that lead to being that uniformed schoolgirl, some that don't quite fit, all seldom worn today and they are to go.

As I have written about on few entries here, the idea around having actual schoolgirl daytime dresses has been with me for a long time and as those Goth variants were to go together with a few other things it was time to decide what to do about it.

Because I so wish to wear an actual schoolgirl pinafore as uniform, I decided to get myself two, one grey and one black to replace them with together with a black pleated elasticated skirt.

Looking back on this whole adventure from over a decade ago, you can say I became the schoolgirl increasingly in her pinafore, being the little I really am. The tide has turned.

Uniforms

Although this picture is less classic mid twentieth century, it does show the fundamentals of how a school uniform can look good on your do show though such as the more modern form of pinafore dress still having the boxed feel revealing your tie.
The black tights work well with the uniform too and are something I like to be put in to and the shoes certainly pass school inspection! 
You look smart in it, one reason I preferred the schools I attended that had them as somehow casual is seldom worn with any real sense of style.

Glimmers of the past

There is much in here that resonates such as  the playfulness of the child in trying to wake up the man who one assumes is a Minister of religion with no hint of malice or being mean in their whole demeanor and the playing out of doors in a cultivate garden which was a part of my childhood.
The other thing is personal which is that child is outside in a traditional girls school dress being carefree in the presence of a powerful male character although they in terms of physical build look more 'boy' and I suspect was 'assigned' as such even if they may of been transgendered before that term came into vogue.
I so wish that child could of been me at that age as it was all I really wanted.