Tenth anniversary issue - the how and why

Actually in two days time it will be the Tenth Anniversary of this blog and so we may as well start by revisiting what it is about as sometimes people get that wrong because it was established to be about my needs, my issues with my behaviours and attitudes and how I'm getting better now.

It's the beginning of a New Year  that follows on from the last so naturally I'll be in the course of the year writing about how I'm feeling and how my behaviour is shaping up but it's a good start to the year to consider what a important part of my regressed life is about.
It's to match my developmental needs to a way of training me to do more for myself, to learn and apply societal norms as much as they may need to consider and sometimes adjust to better accommodate those things I cannot alter.
This involves being given one on one guidance and tuition on everyday life skills so learn how to do perform tasks and from then on assume greater responsibility for meeting them and where it involves working with people accepting and working with their oversight with them having the final say.
Because of my tendency to be lost in the moment oblivious to risks, to have difficulty in crossing busy roads safely and communication based issues I accept other people have to assume certain responsibilities in caring roles with me.
Part of that is as the adult-child being cared for involves the use of spanking to deliver clear consequences where agreed breaches of attitudes and behaviours occur.
Within that relationship the following general rules apply to the carer in looking after me
1. Give Affection at Least at a Rate of 10 to 1. 
As the adult-child, I have emotional needs such as to feel loved, wanted and cared for and to feel that from you as much as need you to spank me sometimes.
2. Never Spank a Adult-Child in Public. 
The act of disciplining is a private one between you and me that needs no extra public humiliation adding even if some of our friends know I am and I'm okay with that.
3. Never Use Excess Force.
The spanking I need needs itself to be proportional to what I have done, sufficient to deter me from that offence that I knew would bring it.
4. All Spanking Offenses Must Be Made Known in Advance, Carved in Stone, and Fully Understood.
It's important to know which of  those things that I do will result in a spanking, that there is consistency in your handling them and I have shown I understand the consequences of my actions.
If the going is tough, make eye contact with me. Say "Listen to me" "If you do x, I will spank you" and once it is clear I have understood that if I still do, then do it for me.
5. Be Truthful and Consistent, It Could Save a Life.
A relationship where you care and from that discipline me needs me to feel I can trust you and you will treat me in a fair consistent manner because those actions my keep me from dangers I am unaware of be they life threatening or likely to result in injury.

New Year thoughts

As I sit here typing my minds thoughts move toward what I and this blog have been doing and what we are so looking forward to from this New Year onward and I think I know how I'll begin this even if only directly applies to a section of my followers.
The life we lead as age regressors matters more than the labels, their definitions and what different groups may think of what words we use to describe this thing we do and what by extension a good portion of this blog talked about last year.
It's what you do for real that actually matters such as the various meet ups I attended out there in the real world and wrote about doing things together, forming friendships, exploring for yourself  what in age regression it is you love and having found out what you don't, respecting your friends who have different likes.
It's also the things you may do on your own  or share less in real space but in cyber-space because they feel right for you and no one online community such as on Tumblr owns you very own regression. Indeed the most they can say is 'don't post about this and this' in a community you've chosen to join with their name and tags on.
I dislike discourse with a passion but there have been some occasions last year on here I've just needed to say a few things because I firmly believe some of that drama we see in age regression on Tumblr is causing harm to those who do regress due to trauma and other conditions and disabilities.
Getting that out of the way, another good thing is to spend as much time outdoors as you can switching off from the online world and allowing yourself to be in the moment with nature whither or not you walk as I have started to do more of, learning to reflect and take comfort from the everyday stuff of life. It's not just mental resilience and healing it will help either but overall wellness even if you face heath or disability related limitations.
One thing I do write about here is things like colouring which can help with de-stressing and improving your co-ordination skills which if they are like mine, poor and with reading which can cover things around the age range you regress to for sheer enjoyment or if you like me you struggle with reading by carefully selecting more upper junior fiction that stretches your vocabulary help in learning to read more for information and picking more the feeling of characters in those stories. The books I wrote about last year fitted that definition to a tee.
You for me it'll be that I'll be doing this New Year, sharing it with you all here and for some fortunate folks even under the same roof together.
Happy New Year!

The 2017 review

It is the custom on my blogs to write a review of sorts around how my life has been over the last twelve months or so and Joanne's Dorm is no exception where we gather trends and notable episodes and here they are usually connected to my behaviour, attitude and disciplining.
I think the start point should be that the blog itself has like all of my blogs this year had a bit of a make over because they all go back a good number of years where the layouts were compromised by what blogger offered when it came to its templates so this has been bright more into line now with the others using easier to find Page elements the amount of static information shown  has been kept down and so on because the family of blogs gives you the whole picture while each specializes on key areas.
The second is that the title reflects the wider scope of this blog which is it has more thoughts and reflections by and about me and my life in it so while there is narrative it is more informative and I hope more entertaining.
It isn't a spanking blog but a blog that covers spanking in my life so my life, my emotions and feelings which do feed into situations where spanking is how I'm disciplined is covered rather more than it did.
One thing I have been talking rather more about this year is how my disabilities effect me, the stress and frustrations I feel and how that can and does effect my interactions with others in part because just writing about such things as feeling your needs are ignored in the political debate and how the changes to government social programs affect and influence my responses.
Although this Christmas preparation just gone has had its messy moments like my brother forgetting to pick up our presents from an aunt he'd expressly gone to get, a whole lot of 'cat herding' and his unannounced arrival yesterday that delayed our meal by over an hour (the activity around pans doesn't drop any hints with him!) that had a knock on effect all day, I had managed to avoid snapping and kicking off.
As well I have been engaged a bit more with my health walking weather permitting to improve my breathing, physical fitness, losing some weight  and switching off more enjoying being at one with nature, being in the moment.
Another has been how the support  over the years is helping to change some of my more immature responses to situations to one where I do take more responsibility not just for myself but also for others by doing things for everyone from helping more at littles camp to actively taking a part in preparing and cooking what we are eating.
Moving to being a passive consumer of others contributions to making a contribution.
Much of this is because there was been a gradual shift in the relationship ground rules such as being expected  to contribute, to be engaged with whatever is going on and more over they have shifted to a very much child-like handling model that has me doing chores and being told explicitly what to do.
That same shift also includes being scolded on the spot before being spanked with no exceptions whenever I breach those understandings about my role and conduct with those people I interact with.
It has helped me no end this year to have my bared bottom spanked by hand, slipper and tawse sometimes a few times one after the other to instill better discipline in me as it has help prevent repeats since making me think more about how those things affect others as well as me.
I honestly needed swift consequences and fortunately in 2017 people were prepared to be very firm to help me grow up.

Christmas Edition

It's usual on this blog to write something around Christmas here because it for one thing it's a major childhood memory, it's almost as big on my age regressed side having that Christmas Eve anxiety at night thinking what I may be having and finally its two whole different days. A heady mixture, what?
I'm home with Mom and Grumpy and I can smell the Turkey cooking ready for Lunch with the turkey from Waitrose, Pigs in blankets made from independent butchers own bacon and sausages, fresh veg from de market in town as we visit our neighbours and having just opened my presents.

Fun that was a direct re-run from my actual childhood came from this annual with adventures from Dennis the Menace, Minnie the Mix and the Bash Street Kids plus a special annual of the Dandy featuring such favourites as Korky the kat, Desperate Dan and Beryl the Peril.

I had some money from Mom, one brother that were put toward some compact discs and a HMV voucher.

One you'll be hearing more about next year without a shadow of a doubt is this six super audio cd set of Beethoven's Symphonies, a sacd set of Sibelius Symphonies and Chopin Preludes sacd.
As well I had a scarf and blu rays of Back To The Future  together with the Karate Kid which were two of my favourite movies from the 80's as I slowly replace a few by the better looking blu ray versions.
I hope you had a super day with your gifts and toys but also with company too.
*Written on the Chromebook on Christmas Day!

Happy Xmas

*** MERRY CHRISTMAS AND A HAPPY NEW YEAR FOLKS ***

I've pretty much finished my present buying and card writing stuff now so we're on the waiting in for people to arrived in a random "I was just passing" fashion to drop things off and for anything here to be exchanged with coffee.
I love Christmas but I'm not so sure I'd want it everyday.
Great news following from December 6ths entry, the infamous blocklist with its dubious claims has been removed in the basis that people on it are inactive or have reformed.
Reformed certainly was the case here as that was what I did after some technological stuff to throw people off the scent  was work on that with the community I joined making sure I didn't repeat the single mistake and worked on earning my reputation back as I now have more followers than I did back then. As well, I established the "PSJ" tumblr on a totally different account focused on more Age Regressed adult little stuff with the odd post about spanking in it to keep it well away from minors.
Your regular service will resume on December 27th when I get around to typing some kind of a review thing and I sincerely hope I actually have functioning central heating as it's darn cold even at half past three in the afternoon anywhere outside the front room with its gas fire.

Establishing a mature independent you...

I recently saw this which was originally published by the artist Kittycouch in April that I thought summarized so well what trying to be a mature independently minded person with your own boundaries but also respecting other peoples ideas and ones is about.
I just thought in a week that saw some drama in one Age Regression community and also at the spanking needs site this is something that's needed as everything within it applies and it is I aspire to in handling differences which is  a part of the everyday normal things between people.
We're all a bit different.

A year this week

This week marks the first anniversary of an incident that occurred a year ago, over December 7/8th last year to be exact that had a significant emotional impact on me apart from drawing some lessons from that for a number of reasons I had not been able to openly talk about which is why there mentioned here and not on either 'main' blogs.
I think we are are all familiar with social media and although I don't do things like Facebook and skipped the My Space phase entirely I did do briefly Experience Project and after a few prompts from some Lolita associates, I decided to do Tumblr starting with a a fairly regular sfw cg/l come Littlespace one adding a more 18+ cglish one as cg/l and some regressed discipline based spanking one on totally separate accounts.
This was the period 2015/6 where the whole question of under 18's and Cg/l, the emerging Tumblr Age Regression communities were forming as that side in some folks Cg/l relationships seemed to be what they were looking for and yes, being Tumblr we had bitter discourse (and a fair few threats).
The start point for how the incident occurred stems from a error born of what seemed to be a quick and easy way to deal with how a DMCA takedown lead to the 18+ Cgl-ish account being terminated by Tumblr where I decided to remake it in a more toned down form as a Secondary tumblr on the first one's account.
The short outline of that for non tumblr people is you don't have separate  following lists for each and while people can follow each Tumblr separately, when posting the default is your main and you have to toggle down to your secondary tumble when posting OR reblogging.
At that point my primary account didn't belong to any group or community because all that was to come around mid 2016 and so it was a sfw Cg/l account that provided you minded what you posted such as nothing sexual  on it  then that was it.
To save creating another Tumblr email/password ID I created that new 18+Cgl account as a secondary on the back of the original account in late January 2016 where I was loosely aligned with sfw cg/l.
Part of this discourse that has been the bain of CG/l and Age Regression on Tumblr is the separation between sfw Cg/l (toys, child-like play, cute fashion and meets) and 18+ or especially nsfw Cg/l that may take in sexual acts, bdsm and potentially spanking (although that can be sfw and non sexual) in that some may only want the sfw side of caregiver/little and not welcome interaction from any people more into say bdsm or sexual stuff of a  graphic nature.
Toss in the Minors in DD/lg (and CG/l) on Tumblr controversy and you'd have to be an idiot not to see a problem around adults who may be sexual/kink and minors who are not allowed (rightly) to be sharing that space.
This on Tumblr lead to a separating out of 'pure' sfw and increasingly minor accepting Age Regression from sfw Cg/l, the formation of communities that only accepted that and what some saw then as the demonizing of all Cg/l including the sfw form that moved into prohibiting interaction from sfw Cg/l  and in some the promotion of the idea 'Littlespace' was inherently  kink because some in more 18+ and Nfsw Cg/l used the term.
By the October of 2016 war had broken out between purist Age Regressors and those who used the Caregiver/little setting in a more sfw quasi-parental way  with a alignment of some in DD/lg supporting the purists.
Into that a number of people who had either been on the sfw Cg/l end or had joined Caregiver/little Age Regression (CGL/re) felt that separation hadn't stopped the war nor the business of Kink people getting in what were now minor friendly spaces and created a new community with own lexicon purposely to avoid shared terms with all CG/l communities featuring a CareBear logo.
That started out around the second week of November (the 15th??), I was hovering around the CGL/re community although not in membership but for two weeks they had dual membership where you could belong to them AND another another either CGL/re or the more Purist (and argumentative) CHIldREgression (Chire) and I joined with a person from Chire and in the first day we actually messaged each other rather than being suspicious of each other.
To understand what was to happen we need to go back that second 18+ non sexual Tumblr that was still operating, still reblogged some non sexual  'adult schoolgirl' spanking content with me having to remember to 'toggle' to that account and although I love her to bits I reblogged my BFF's posts cos we have the same sort of regressed non-sexual  CG/l life quite a bit sometimes when I hadn't been well being up around four in the morning.
It was a term of the community I joined November 23rd that you could not interact on that Tumblr with anything DD/lg or CG/L and by that fateful December morning even CGL/re although it was unclear if it applied to the whole account and by extension post anything that would go on such an account or just that individual tumblr.
Things had gone well, I'd masked the following information so nobody could see what accounts I followed although there had been the odd near miss where I forgot to switch account and wiped the post in seconds.
Well it would of been early December 8th UK time when not getting any sleep I fired up the laptop around 4AM starting first with the main Tumblrs posts reblogging and then reblogging anything from the accounts of those who followed my second Tumblr which needless to say included some spanking posts between yawns and had finished by about twenty to six when I noticed the message indicator was on and when I looked at the posts, reviewing them I saw on of the reblogs intended for that second Tumblr had instead gone on the first so I  quickly deleted deleted it thinking nobody would up that time of the morning.
I clicked on the message thinking it might of been my Caregiver with a "And what the heck are you up this time Young Lady expecting a probable trip to LapLand tm with a paddle" when I saw the user name of the Communities Mod who had asked me to leave the Group citing that post to which I replied in the affirmative.
What I didn't count on was a highly misleading blocklist post that implied it was much worse than it was AND this wasn't the only post which was a bare faced lie.
Throughout the day the blocklist and its falsehoods were reblogged, people didn't just unfollow me they blocked me -  near enough a fifth of my followers - and what was worse was I couldn't talk to anybody about what happened and why the account the mod put up about it  who has been accused of falsehoods since was incorrect because blocking prevents messaging.
I started to pace around the house in a distraught agitated state, crying all the time feeling I'd not just really messed this up but I'd let my followers down and people would start messaging me to drive me away. I wanted to end it all.
It was horrible.
It wasn't that I knew I'd made a awful mistake and in hindsight a bigger one in making that Secondary Tumblr, it was the banishment that even went beyond that community and the lack of any kind of forgiveness and restitution, the feeling nobody cared confirmed when I put an anon post about the topic just confirmed it: one mistake and you're dead for life.
I joined another community just before Years End with a couple of things in mind, one being to find someone who was prepared to allow me work to earn my reputation back by my actions as the loss of it weighed heavily on my mind.
I also felt there they had been inconsistent as another community Mod had had quite a bit of nsfw material on theirs but HAD been allowed to move it to totally separate Tumblr and yet for one post in error I had been banished.
The community I joined had a value system that was more around respecting others as you would have others respect you when it came to any interaction that lead to less petty squabbling and 'dobbing in' others with all the anxiety and paranoia that goes with it. It would offer the benefits of belonging but less stressful.
It had easy to understand clear cut rules on posting that I thought I needed so I could learn how to post responsibly, had no issues with terms like Littles and littlespace and recover from the anxiety the whole incident caused.

I think the lessons I learned was Quick Fixes aren't always a good idea, who my real friends were and you can dust yourself off and restart so long as you do  learn from things.