Uniform revision?

Last week was rather different in that the prospect of a day of lessons prior to another event had been raised and to which I had agreed

I have a skirt very much like this although at the moment I was required to get although I was offered a tie  although a n other needed to fasten it form me as the person running things is shall we say "old-fashioned" and doesn't believe in clip on ties plus white school blouse.

That takes me to this, a classic 11 plus look I recall from my own childhood complete with ties as junior and senior school children are expected to wear and fasten their own with only some combined infant/juniors having a common uniform across all ages from rising 5's to 11+ insisting on either white or navy long socks be worn.

Also my knickers were specified - nothing remotely "adult" just old school full knickers to match my navy skirt.

Until a few years ago it wasn't unknown for me to be on the receiving end of the odd bit of discipline in a more everyday context although with covid and that things had dropped off.

At a site I've seen and been talking with people including two I know more around school days and especially discipline and I think something like this girls look may be it and perhaps while I often thought more in terms of thinks like hand spanking, the slipper, ruler and paddle how would I feel about caning coming back and what if I had to hold and present it the person who was to cane me?

I had ever done only experienced the odd very mild physical punishment in actual school during the period where it was being phased out and had never attended any kind of an adult school session in the way some do, booking weekends and being "in role", this school day was something new.

We did some Mathematics (aka Math/maths) covering imperial measurements which is not something being metricated I found easy with all the conversions and different forms, science where we looked at how Lava Lamps work, English comprehension and grammar and observation. which I was better at although truth be told being dyslexic, having less than five word memory retention and put in remedial classes for some subjects I did better on.

Being the poorest in the group in individual tests did mean being bent over the desk for a spanking in front of the class but what was more surprising was apart from the familiar feel of your skirt being raised over my back and folded in, I felt a hand around the waist of my navy knickers and felt them being pulled down in full view of everyone.

I was being bare bottom spanked with brisk firm strokes of the paddle loud sounds of it landing on my skin, gritting ones teeth as I felt each stroke before they decided to pull my knickers up and skirt diwn before returning to my own desk.

It was incredible to experience a punishment that was tailored to add humiliation into the mix so directly particularly as the person concerned hadn't really shown much interest in going beyond over knickers before.

While it remains painful, it was a great experience.

Easter: not as planned

 

Art by @lapincharm

This weekend I should be away for a few days a sort of Easter weekend a week after the event thing recruiting something we'd of loved when officially at least we were younger having got the arrangements made.

Easter as in the official one was okay with Easter Cards and a couple of white chocolate eggs as they do suit me better from the point of view of not feeling sick or getting headaches that always plagued childhood easter and christmas's.

Unfortunately the best laid plans were somewhat messed up by receiving information regarding a child to whom I am a named Aunt to getting in extremely serious potentially liberty depriving offences and being arrested (The exact nature I'd sooner not go into) .

The Grump informes me Tuesday he had no sleep his mind continuing to mull over it thinking about how it all came to be, what if things may of been different,  what did he do "wrong" even to the point of what would might get him off.

Well for one thing professionally I cannot think of a single reason why he should "get off" given the damage to other peoples lives and for another with being on the receiving end of these types of crimes personally I find it deeply traumatic to be mithered about this stuff.

Where is my sounding board dealing with the emotions this is bringing back for me???

Discourse and social media

 

So it's wednesday, no tuesday when I'm typing this out after watching a few you tube videos thinking through some things, while not central to the contents had caught the attention to those who left comments.

There are major issues in the world that are impacting on all of us in different ways supply issues in the shops, not least food shops, the impact of tariffs introduced by the United States, the War in Ukraine, talks about the border of the United States, annexing Canada (Boo, hiss!) and Greenland and so on.

Some say you shouldn't refer however fleeting to such things but art and travelogues seldom can exist outside of the context of the times - tariffs will affect imported records and books in the U.S. and tourism so you can struggle to avoid them.

Perhaps you might remember the brochures for holidays in the then USSR that always had you closely followed by Intourist guides that often were linked to the security services (one reason we were "barred" by Government from going given the grumps ahem "work"). 

No way were you going to allowed to travel independently there!

Most of us draw a distinction between criticizing an administration, ruling party, Prime Minister for those of  us fortunate to have the Westminster System of government or President and that of individual citizens members of forums and the like.

We understand you may not support whatever is going on, may not have voted for those responsible but that doesn't mean where it is relevant we shouldn't be able to express how we feel on the topic, not directing it at you personally.

The originals of the Help! problem

 

Dealing with situations that I am struggling in has always been difficult but seeing a post by a very close friend recently rather brought into focus just what makes them so and this week I'm looking at that.

H.E.L.P!

That means trouble in my language as two things tended to happen when I struggled which I guess we all do at times.

The first was the school I went to had a considerable amount of disabled children, mainly physically and there was a drive very much around independence and self reliant, frequently excessively so that you'd be called out all the time time with statements such as "There's no such thing as can't ", "No One's going to do it for you", "No, don't help them, they've go to figure it out for themselves" directed at anyone who even offer.

It didn't help that it was an era where autism and dyslexia were seen as excuses for non compliance and willfully paying no attention so you got no special support only threats of corporal punishment for not following the norms and being useless at spelling and math.

Because of that any offers tended to given to others they thought HAD needs and you were purposefully shamed.

In time you learned to never be seen to ask for assistance and if you know something was coming up either avoid it or plow on regardless of the fact you were getting nowhere fast.

Thus Help! equalled shame and more.

Now I did hurt my wrist badly recent at a littles get together and we had a baking session so needless to say I was struggling to make pastry the rolling was excruciatingly painful when a organizer had to say "It's okay to ask for help" before I felt able to accept someone helping me complete the task that was necessary.

I can see how all of those bad experiences shaped my reactions even as they get in the way of trying to do more and I need to learn to accept help and understand today I won't be attacked and shamed for it.

Sticking up ears edition

In all the reverberating past presently I'm going through something came to mind that I hadn't shared here.

 Actually for what passes as my formative years, and across two properties we lived in, we had rabbits, you know, pet rabbits, not the sort your butcher may stock. 

They were generally grey rabbits.

Our first property had a fair sized garden so outside of the burrow, they had quite long run and play escaping soldiers in. The amount of times Dad had to go find them doesn't bear thinking about!

Our second properties gardens weren't so good being a Mews development, so the went run in the rear which was a bit better and as far as I can recall they didn't seem to escape so often but I don't if its we'd gotten more wise making it harder for them to escape of if they were more docile.

Rabbits always remind  me of spring and of renewal which at this difficult  time seems an apt thought.

We did get away to a picnic marking the ten years since Lillian left this earth in still troubling circumstances as enjoyed being about in a blue plaid skirt and tights which was probably as well as it got a bit bitter later on.

It also transpired in real life role playing school was a possibility from time to time very much the way you remembered so there may be the odd post around that from time to time on this blog.

Click, take a trip!

Hello again and thank you to those who have recently started to read me blog because I looked at the information I see where you're from if sometimes where you find about the blog from.

A note to any of my followers, you're very welcome here cos while some of our interests are different, we have much in common and can learn a lot from each other.

As a good number of you know, several of us  are off to Sammy's picnic just outside London this weekend, where no doubt we'll be on our best behaviour with her partner and a few groan ups present so I'm writing this early as I need to get my stuff all together and we know whose responsibility that is, don't we?  In  2025 I have to stuff!(lol)

That means routing out the handy compact camera and charging it and the phones up ready for off besides packing the case for the rail trip that will involve overnight stays which is important as we're marking the tenth anniversary of the death of a close friend in tragic circumstances.

Getting everything to work out was a bit touch and go but I think it matters

Downstairs girl

One first thing to say about this last week has been for a variety of reasons some routines have been different not that I'm kinda ocd over routine although I do benefit from some structure in my life which is why this post has been typed today when otherwise I'd of been busy.

The last few posts have been about interests of mine as I'm not exactly a one dimensional adult little girl by a long shot and things I had and enjoyed from my birthday rather than personal posts so I thought this last one of March would be different.

Birthdays do bring back memories not least around Mom and that's a part of what I'm looking back at this week.

Shared life is often a compromise whither you live as a couple or as individuals who maybe share a property and also this can and usually does cross over to relations with parents, relatives and so on. 

You may sense that some parts of your life not least for a good number of us being  a 'little' come under the heading things you can't share or be otherwise open with although there's nothing remotely shameful in it.

This is particularly so if like me you're also coming at this as being Tg too with a number of inter family issues around my being so following my greater involvement around alg activities I had been wondering more around working through this with Mommy.

We did manage to evolve to a point where it's finally okay to present as alg downstairs at night where just both of us are in (Grumpy has his own space upstairs he resides in then) as I feel fit, and she feels comfortable engaging with me sat in the front room being the same me as before for an hour or so. 

We did starting to bond better, I can openly call her Mommy - indeed even addressed birthday her card as that - which is helping both of us work through this having had our difficulties in the past around gender based issues.

Another issue is  the site Sp@nking Needs,a site for adults who feel the need for and those who did perform said services has ceased to be.

I joined in 2014 as it had a less fet1shly, more thoughtful feel to it that made it a great place to talk about those needs and some of my disciplinary issues that required some treatment which in time they did get.

It's a great pity such great sites seem to be going in an age of social media and ever shifting regulations as it was really safe.

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