Colouring

This week I've been thinking about colouring.
Colouring is an activity most children do from an early age when you take a drawing with the outline image in printed usually in black and colour in between the lines.
Colouring can be helpful in improving your hand to eye co-ordination as you learn to colour in tiny areas neatly.
It's also quite useful in encouraging you to exercise your own imagination, by choosing what areas to colour in whatever colour you prefer although for some subjects  you may prefer to follow the examples such as drawings of Disney Princesses.
It came to me a few days back in part through an ongoing conversation and also while listening to a podcast, that I did very little colouring when I was younger and by the time I'd reached nine it was deemed to be 'childish' although I did draw in colour trees and houses cause that was called 'drawing' which was said to be 'okay' for me to do.
Colouring is in my opinion one of the easiest ways of getting into a younger headspace especially if you live away from any local  littles community because you can do it pretty much anywhere making very little demands on apartment space.
You'll need a supply of coloured pencils (mine are Hello Kitty ones for extra cute appeal), an eraser to remove mistakes, and colouring books that you'll find most newsstores stock so you can get out of your chair and go buy it in person as after all it is for you!.
I tend to keep mine by the computer as a stress relief tool when the interwebs go wonky but generally after changing to my littles clothes, I either lay on my front on the floor or across my Hello Kitty festooned bed with the book and pencil case out in front of me. You could if you wished, sat at a desk to do this too as if you were in a play group or school setting.
I find it very relaxing just lying there colouring completly free  from any groan up stuff that may be about affecting my head.

For the teen Trans Kids

Okay, now I’ve gotten your attention we will get to business
We’re a bit grown up here so let’s start off by acknowledging something straight off and that is if you’re transgendered you been like this from birth, you had a female inner child who came out doing fairly regular girlish things like playing with dolls, carrying your teddy with you, playing dress up and so on. You might of been caught out and scolded (or worse) or maybe you did it when nobody much was around.
As you got a bit older you may have stopped the dressing side for a whole of reasons such as trying to make yourself fit in as say a male because of peer pressure or maybe your school and sporting commitments got in the way.
Now you do restart and like you’re feeling “Whoa! I feel different now” you seem to be preoccupied with looks, boys and the inevitable  that goes with it you may feel like doubting who you really are.
The good news is actually you’re the same as everything so-called regular teen school girl having this adolescence interest/curiosity around sex but still having some child like sides to you and this is okay. What’s never okay is for Adults to take advantage of you sexually.
So for all the teen transgendered children out there, be strong, be yourself but keep safe!

Regressed replacements XIII

At recess we'd run around the school fields which was something I loved to do when we weren't playing jump rope

Sometimes it would go on for so long I'd get tired and have to carried back in the most undignified fashion. It was so embarrassing.

Dress her up

While much of this blog is around school related and emotional issues leading into talk around discipline it's not the whole of it nevermind  how I like to look.
Well as I'm sure no boy, go one and make me into an attractive frilly girl like either of these as I just love the costumes as while it may be out of my comfort zone, it's good for you to  work with me exploring my female sense of self.

Staying warm

Although there's little doubt back when I was officially younger anything other than thin plain cotton or polyester pajama's would of been looked on with a sense of incredibility, these really would be the returned to childhood middle  me ones.
Given the coldness of the Winter the fleecy material with super cute girlish Hello Kitty print would be the very thing and a great thing for littles to be put in just like their real childhood sisters are.

Background capsule

I usually have a reason for  posting things even though I'd be the first to admit I don't always have an idea of what's going up until I'm sat here typing away.
I suppose today I've been thinking back to my past and how this whole topsy turvy life of mine started off and this is perhaps the best link I can give to it in that I knew around 4 to 5 years of age I really objected to that reflection of me in the mirror cos I knew I wasn't a boy.
People write books study to degree levels in gender studies and all with grand theories but I prefer to cut to the chase: If you don't feel plus you don't connect with your social gender and loath how you look wanting to curl up and and die first then you're trans, period.
The world in my head wasn't a million miles removed from that picture, the plushies, the dolls and above all that dress although I think there's nothing wrong with wearing pants or shorts either as it's about the how rather than if.
That whole hands on hips pose and the lovely print is very much me at the core  (I'd of loved to worn it) and maybe that's what troubled some people who think it's their job to police the gender divide.
And that was it with the little side of me still loving the same things today as then pretty much so you see it's not like there's just one side of me, a side people get wrong often thinking it's all about a gender change rooted say nostalgia or having the childhood you didn't have. It's always been with me as apart of the trans side with the older in some ways more grown up side both female and intertwined with each other. We're one whole person just like my friends who are natul who also have a smaller side.
A dialogue between the two sides: LG=Little Girl, BG Big Girl/Adult
BG: Hi. Who are you?
LG: You know I who I am. I'm your younger side
BG: How old are you?
LG: I'm 12 thank you.
BG: Where did you go?
LG: You packed me away in the toy box with my teddies.
BG I did?
LG: You did cos Mommy wasn't happy with me around.She banished me and it hurts.
BG: I'm sorry.She had these issues.
LG: I want to come out to play but is safe now?
BG: If you came out to play what would happen to me? I keep you safe.
LG: Are you happy?
BG: No, I'm sad. I'd much sooner play.
LG Why do you want to be around? Can't you just look out for me  instead while I play?
BG: If I played, I'd be you.
LG: That make you happy?
BG: Yes.
LG:  Is this a deal. You just do big looking out not upsetting the grown ups.
BG: Yes! Let's make it our pact.
.

Before we leave

What would you think immediately upon encountering her in the restroom? Would you question what she was doing there and maybe what her past was?
It never ceases to amaze me the fuss so many make about people in the process of gender transitioning and that time you need to relieve yourself and maybe touch up your make up even though it’s clear you’re presenting as a female. Then there’s the clever so and so’s who say well I think you oughta be in the men’ as your not all 100% transformed rather ignoring the risk of abuse, sexual even , they’re putting you at risk from never mind the fact they’re no laws mandating dress modes for genders anyway.
If you’re reading this and you’re not transgendered, please think about this before huffing and puffing the next time you need to leave the table in a café and aren’t sure if the person in the toilet line is meant to be there or causing a hissy fit.
Thank you.