Dripping wednesday

We're still in Firefox here as Pale Moon is still playing up on its 32 bit version this week but anyway back to business .

 While it's not quite fall yet, it isn't the last days of summer either with temperatures  being lower and yes it is raining quite hard as I type this having been out delivering  Newsletters this week that thankfully came earlier than they needed to as usually its a rush job.
Thus my coat is drying in two halves, the main coat near the radiator for all over heating and the detachable furry hood right by my gas fire being turned around frequently as it takes absolutely ages to dry out otherwise.
Holding an umbrella with a bit of a breeze while carrying a bag with another hand posting the newsletters through peoples letter boxes isn't the easiest of things even if you have super co-ordination which I sure don't.
I still haven't had an appointment for a blood pressure results consulation where it should be detirmined if I need to take medication typically tablets to reduce it or not. 
To be honest I'd just sooner take something and be done cos I know it runs above the norm and given I get things like miagraines apart from be anxious that are likely to raise it above that when I'm going through them which must put additional pressure on my heart and that.

Check and replace edition

Here we are on a August Bank Holiday over here having to use Firefox as Pale Moon, the browser of choice on my ageing Windows 7 laptop is having stability issues and and so I am waiting for a major bug removing update for it as it is not reliable enough for blogging.
Today I have been out for a walk and across this week I have been  sorting through my old clothes especially woollens for winter between those that simply need to go due to wear and tear like holes in elbows and those that just need a wash and airing out.

One thing I did do was replace a sweatshirt I have had for a number of years for another with slightly longer arms in it apart from obviously being new in better condition that I tend to wear  with my grey and green pleated skirts.
As well I did toss out some old ankle socks for new longer black ones as they were showing signs of wear in the toes and heel.
Think Ill just rest now and relax. Roll on September!

Guiding Wednesday

While I'm awaiting the appointment to discuss my blood pressure results and minimize the use of the browser Pale Moon which seems to have issues with Googles sites and web services I thought I'd talk about a few things.
The first is I am continuing with my daily exercise routine to help keep me fit, maintain leg muscle and control my blood pressure as it's a recognized way of handling it.
The other is how you handle people  because there is a middle ground between indulgence and indifference when it comes to what you do for people.

 Part of what's happening with me is putting right the consequences of people either pampering to me or totally ignoring my needs discouraging attempting to do things for yourself by showing you how.
The problem with being a 'King' or 'Queen'  is you just might run out of people to  keep you in the manner you're accustomed to!

Wired up edition

This week I'm on twenty-four monitoring of my blood pressure as it is high which involves me having a blue coloured strap with sensors around my right arm connected to a machine that inflates it every half hour during the day  and hourly at night that takes readings that are stored electronically.
The basic idea is to record your blood pressure across a regular  day as for a variety of reasons readings taken typically at a doctors can be higher due to anxiety or activity involved in getting there such as walking on steep hills, waiting for delayed buses and so on.
When it's done, I have to press a button and then take it to the surgery for them to read it and sort anything out such as an appointment  to discuss results and follow up stuff.
As things were there was a long wait for a bus back - over an hour - I walked back which was why it should be I stopped when the machine was due to take a reading by a prominent local church taking in the views and admiring the grave stones sat on a bench as the machine did its thing.
Walking back was appreciable quicker even for me  and counts as daily exercise apart from just the pleasure of being out of doors even wired up.
I don't appear to have any recurring symptoms from the Lyme Disease so I've just been concentrating more on just relaxing with my stuffies, reading and the like to aid my recovery as it took a lot out of me.
Because the machine woke me up overnight, I lost a fair bit of sleep so had a nap before tea and went to bed just before nine as I felt shattered.

Play and what we play with

 I'm feeling better this week so I thought I'd write something a little different than usual.

 Something I started noticing several years back when I first started buying my own stuffies and especially dolls was a difference between what some bought them for and what I did before getting involved around the world of littles.
One of things I found odd was what I later called the "collectors mentality" where people bought them in the original packaging and kept them permanently in that state, boxed up at best on shelf or otherwise in a storeroom.
To me they seemed to see them as objects that admittedly they liked  but the bais was clearly on maintaining that collectors item look and monetary value to the point they weren't handled and cherished even if they were intended for children who would play with them.
Personally, I buy my dolls and stuffies to play with although my porcelain ones are because of their delicateness are more handled than played with.
I take them out to sit by, hug whenever I feel the 'need' to hug or carry on in my hand around the house or wherever I am staying. I create stories featuring them which I then play with in real time together freely.
That's for me apart from those 'special dolls' they are my toys which as an adult child I play with in much the same way that I did as a child and as some saw me recently even gently rocking a pram with dollies.
It's what I get from playing with them that matters more to me than that whole collectors thing. 

Recovering thoughts

If I appear to be a bit behind or generally washed out it's because for the last week and a bit I have been seriously unwell, the likes of which I haven't been for a long time and in some respects the closest to death itself even so I'm kinda playing catch up even if if I need to rest more.
I'll probably know a bit more after I've been for another blood pressure test as while being treated for the other, they spotted it was high which of itself is nothing new as it's always been that way.
I mean five years ago, we went through a whole battery of tests including 24 hour monitoring and concluded there wasn't much that really could be done and I kind of expect something similar by way of an outcome.
When it comes to the other it's going to just taking things slow as I recover and without a shadow of a doubt spending more of my time in and centred on this littler time for being not just more restful but also engaging in those more positive experiences from then as I learn to adapt.
To be honest, it seems to me the more time flies the more I'm handing back chunks of what passed for adulthood not that I could fully use it and that being presumed to be didn't create more  complications in exchange for being (and being treated as) a child in effect.
Frankly there are times when I'd sooner sign a waiver for society to treat me like that across the board as that's what I can better cope with and is so much less stressful for me and would be more straightforward for most folk too as they'd know what to doing and that much better.

Card games from the past

While I am recovering here from an infection and generally speaking not really up to doing terribly much, I was thinking back to some of the card games I used to play when I was younger usually with relatives.

That was a more a test of recall with a set of playing rules

Misfits was about sorting out the right parts to complete each character and then their were games like snap!
There have been themed versions, one of my favourites of which is this one:

 The Beano was the go to comic at the time, for some it still is, and so playing a game of misfits that featured the likes of the Bash Street Kids, Minnie The Minx - a heroine of mine - Dennis The Menace and his dog Gnasher was bound to go down well.

One could also play Happy Families as in this Victorian version
They all helped pass the time while having fun.

Weeks thoughts and a surprise or two!

It has been a really quite a hot period of late which has added to the disruption caused by next doors major building work with noise, dust and that going on which tends to push me toward sensual overstimulation and associated behavioural traits such as feeling agitated, unable to think aloud and the like.

Perhaps both a reason to need to get away but also having the potential to bring all that with me when it was for a few days I was away with friends.

A good a start point to all of this was the combination of heat, vertigo the previous week, tiredness from the overstimulation with limited sleep with the heat left me very rundown on arrival feeling very much as if I was going into 'standby' mode.

This while taking nothing of itself from what I enjoyed doing  while being away did mean I wasn't able to help that much as I had wanted to just because I didn't have the energy for it even though I did help when I felt able to.

On the Monday I found myself with a full on R.S.I flare up that made just cutting and bring food to my mouth very painful which meant I had to decline a request to help with washing up that didn't appear to go down too well with the person concerned even if those near me clearly knew how much pain and discomfort I was in as having asked I had told them.

Perhaps in hindsight I should of sought them out given they tend to be very much at the focus of 'gather the troups' activities and as I later discovered although I have a lot to do with them ordinarily, the everyday "Jo doesn't appear well" remark you might of expected someone to have passed on evidently hadn't as they had been blissfully unaware of me being unwell although a number had asked and were informed.

It also was an interesting week as a good few years ago I did mention about how the discipline side of my life was changing and how unexpectedly for the first time since leaving education, the use of caning had come in.

Sometimes it had been decided to take a range of spanking implements for me whenever were are away and sometimes not as no one should underestimate what can be down with little more than a hand and a hairbrush.

This time with nothing more than 'on file' consent, things were going to be much different without any advance notification.

The first indication was unlike before in that I was asked to follow them into their bedroom where apart from being pretty tidy, I noticed a chair with open sides toward the far end of it but in line with the door access.

The door was shut. "You no doubt have noticed the empty chair. You know what it is for don't you?"
I nodded.
"Then get over it, Jo?"

I obediently walked to put my feet by the legs and stretching over the back placed my hands on far corner of the seat just over the front leg joint raising my dress so the lower cheeks of my gym knickers were exposed.

I felt a hand on the tailbone of my back and a draught as I felt their other hand  raising the back of my dress followed by a hand on my now fully exposed as they started a full blown discourse on how I was to behave as they started to hand spank me vigorously.

It felt quite a bit stronger than any I had before and moreover I felt very much reduced in stature feeling  both free from burden of trying to be an adult when you never feel it and very much in the past where others set my limits.

It had been eons since I had a 'reminder spanking' being more familiar with discipline spanking but it set the tone.

The other was I had been a bit less than civil toward the end of one day, forgetting 'please', 'thank you' and generally being rather blase when after breakfast I was asked innocuously enough when I was to change for events shortly where I answered "In a few minutes" when the reply I heard was one I hadn't heard for decades "I'll be back in twenty minutes,okay".

So naturally enough I went to the toilet, had a quick wash and got changed, checking the time sat on my bed scratching my head thinking "What's this about?"

Twenty minutes came and there was a knock on the door so I opened it a little

"Have you changed now?"  "I have, thank you" I replied  as heard something I was not anticipating.

"Come with me now!"

I soon realized we weren't heading toward the corridors that lead out of doors but actually into their room when they shut the door briskly.

"You know what to do, bend over that chair!" They said "You know what I told you and why you are here?"

It dawned on me I had shot through what had been a clear warning about my attitudes and behaviour and that was what this was all about.

Looking toward a table I saw an object amongst a couple and thought "No they were not going to use this" as we'd never done this before but as I was bent over the chair I saw them pick it up.

They had clearly decided it was time to cane me for the first time since I left school where at least they tended to keep me in check as I felt the lifting of my dress and warming up as they ensured I was in the correct position ready to take the swishes and thwacks I had offered my bottom  up to receive.

I had forgotten exactly how it stung in those intervening years as two sets of six were delivered accompanied ows that thought given how loud they were coming out people might hear it passing.

That was how it came to be I had my first caning in this relationship and as I was to find out it wasn't necessarily the last.

In the three and a bit years since this whole relationship started I had wondered what life would be like if for a period it was just like things were back in my childhood and while obviously as a legal adult tm consent applies and exists, the whole rules, cautions and discipline for not applying them would just run as part of life with no set time or location for all of this.

The week was just that and while in hindsight knowledge of how I was feeling may well of altered aspects of it which was my own failure, none the less it was what I felt comfortable with emotionally.

What had been envisioned came into being, from being at the point where on paper caning was an option, they had seen my reactions to it - that I could take it and while some may of said "Okay you're not well  but Next time, you're getting it" I feel it was time the gloves came off.
I know I certainly well be caned from now on and that's what I'm needing to be more considerate of what people do for me.