Easter 2020 edition

It's that weekend just gone although munching may well continue.
The season of the nom'ing of chocolate, that is although there is a very important spiritual side to Easter some of us hold to as well.

So I have an Egg to get through over this period which will be appreciated and a few Easter cards with chicks on them too
The other thing is although I don't exact post about every single week  is that I do mess up from time to time not least in stressful situations and times such that we're living in presently.

Just imagine a situation where you found yourself being spanked by the Easter Bunny no less not that far out of my imagination having grown up watching Bugs Bunny spank in cartoons as Miley did in a various famous photoshoot of 2018?
It might well be the ultimate spanking experience for a regressed adult little like me and what if afterwards when I said I was sorry, he gave me an Egg?
It might just be perfect for me.

Stitched memories

If there is one past in the present moment in this life I'd love to recreate anew then this experience would be one on my list of five I'd put toward the top of it.

You see, for me visiting grandma's meant many things, playing games usually the sorts of games we either never had or perhaps no one would of thought I'd love like connect four, or tv shows my folks had issues with but talking with her about what was being shown and soft drinks and biscuits.

To me that was more fun than being locked into a car for three-quarters of an hour on your own and we'd make things from either paper or even make cakes.

The big thing was near enough every other week I'd be measured and we'd go through knitting patterns as she hand knitted nearly every single cardigan or sweater I had adapting the instructions to get a perfect fit on me usually at the same time and the same style as my female cousins in either dusty pink a odd mixture of bluesy pink, red or grey.

Sometimes I'd play on the swing in the rear garden, help out with planting things or even walk with her to the local park in an afternoon if it were the school hols.

Outside of school uniform, I never owned a machine made one into past my teens often on a similar style to the one on the right.

As a practising Christian , Easter and the entire Holy Week was marked  with readings around and Palms in vases. I'd always have an egg from her.
It's enough to know she's very much missed by me.

April Fools Day

A new Moth indeed and a white rabbit goofing about for good measure which I suppose Mr Bunny has every right to I guess.

The Egg will be no more on the 12th  I'm afraid being nom'd right down to the last bit of its ear but then there's always another year and another Egg even though it won't be the same as normally will with family visits and all that.

We all have pasts, some good others not so good but the important thing is how we can reconcile our pasts so we can move forward not be defined just by them alone and although creating a new structure because how much social life has been impacted by the measures to deal with Coronavirus isn't easy for me, I'm getting on with it because my disabilities aside I have the means to do what is necessary to maintain my life.

If kids are having to get used to it then there's no reason I shouldn't be.

Word!

Week two here working at the balance between keeping informed about this virus and not getting too obsessed at it to the point I can't think of anything else from noon to dusk.

There seems to be in general two types of behaviour going on with those who are attempting to try to follow the 'social distancing' guidelines such as maintaining a two metre distance between you and an other regardless of age, not travelling unless it is essential especially on public transport, cutting out contact where possible with the most vulnerable groups and so on.

Then there's those people who were extremely close to each other in parks, beaches and even mountains this weekend when not stocking up from the off licence and having drinks parties at home seemingly ignorant of exactly why our pubs and clubs were shut on Friday - that close social contact - and recreating it!

Words fail me as they did many medical experts who roundly condemned it for the irresponsible nature not only putting themselves at risk but others through transmission elsewhere.  That's partly why we're on 'soft' lockdown now.

As someone who is Vulnerable officially (cerebral palsy and learning disabilities do count) I am trying to keep to those rules for everyone's well-being during this emergency not just mine  and there is some talk of further restrictions if this doesn't change in a day or two and it being enforced.

Perhaps some one with authority giving the malcontents a darn fine spanking might just get the so and so's to quit this behaviour?

Coping with the health emergency from my den

After Monday's entry on the other blog, thoughts on here go managing in the current Coronavirus crisis which is trying because someone with my health conditions is more at risk of catching it and also I react badly to being shut in as it were.

Fortunately this part of the district is not so densely populated so while the general advice might be stay in so long as I keep to more secluded areas such as the woods and farm tracks I can cut risks back while getting fresh air.
It also tend to curb my urges when shut in to act more like a caged tiger lashing out at anyone and anything.

It is possible to get most everyday stuff from shops within walking distance without mixing with large crowds such as foodstuffs, comics and painkillers avoiding the city centre and crowded buses.

While I'd sooner be there cos I like the big stores, markets and museums, I can read books, watch dvds and play music which will help keep my mind off things particularly if I may have a slight cold avoiding making things worse.
When you're low on spoons, you are more likely to pick things up.

I can rely on neighbours and dad getting anything I may need from further away.

What is a Girl?

I noticed more by accident the other week, something I talked about several years back was being discussed at a site with links back here so thought I'd write something about about it here a few years on.

Being a girl is...being how her feels in you, as it comes out of your own feelings as expressed by you in dress, interests and play.

In so far as being an adult little girl goes, it doesn't matter if you're in a relationship or not, if you have a sexual side in your life or the extent to which you are able to let this side of your life out at home or around your local area.

Being either transgendered or gender fluid/variant and of any and no sexuality does not make a  difference  to being and your ability to let the adult little girl you feel out so long as ...you feel Her in you.

There is no one model you have to confirm to.

You may prefer to dress more like a younger child or 'Baby' , a young child which may be dresses, dungerees or shorts or more Middlish looking Tween or young teen.

You might do more party or school type attire if that's you (I like sitting behind a desk in school attire doing exercises) depending on circumstances such as the ability to spend time with a few others.

You may have a Caregiver in your life. 

It really doesn't matter as little girl you is...You.

Some people do find their younger side may have a different gender presentation to their "Big" which may seem odd (and kinda threw me a few years back to be honest) but actually it's okay.

If that's you then please come presenting as that  Little Girl for the period - a little consistency during play helps - bring something with you and you know we'll share teddies, dollies and play even if your "Big" presents as male.

Those of us who aren't super frilly won't kill you if your presentation  goes out that way.
The only thing we aren't so keen on is people who take being a female, especially a little girl and project an overriding sexual side to it (We appreciate Adults often have a sexual side but that stay's in the bedroom and never at little girl playtime!).

It was my experiences elsewhere with "sissies" who tended to push a very full on sexual side linking femininity with subservience, ritual humiliation, who also by clearly linking being a girl as an insult, insulted our sense of being,  co-opting part of our identity for that whole "humiliated as a girl" thing rather than them being a girl if frankly they rather liked it even in short doses or enjoying their maleness if that was them, that troubled me.

Riding Freedom

Seeing we've just started into the new month, I thought I'd kick off the first entry of March with something that goes back a few years where two friends and I read a book together, sharing our thoughts on it.

 Written in 1998 by Pam Munoz Ryan, Riding Freedom is a fictionalized story about a mid 1800's pioneering woman, Charlotte Parkhurst who was raised in a orphanage for boys  that tells the tale of her life from escaping the orphanage, becoming a legendary stagecoach driver as "Charley", getting a ranch of her own in California and being the first American woman to vote.
While the book has received a number of positive reviews from people such as the School Library Journal and I loved the gritty female emancipation theme it contains, I wasn't to taken with the way it was written.
To me it feels more a straight on fictionalized retelling of a life being more an account of  "Charley's" life from the orphanage , escaping life limited to domestic  chores  to owning a smallholding than a actual story, fascinating for the historical detail but lacking in character development in areas like examining in detail how she felt and how whole incidents really played out.
This was especially noticeable in the secondary characters such as Ebeneezer as we seldom really got to know them, having more a cursory description  that lift them more into your minds eye although there was so much that could of been made of it.
A disappointment.