Weeks thoughts and a surprise or two!

It has been a really quite a hot period of late which has added to the disruption caused by next doors major building work with noise, dust and that going on which tends to push me toward sensual overstimulation and associated behavioural traits such as feeling agitated, unable to think aloud and the like.

Perhaps both a reason to need to get away but also having the potential to bring all that with me when it was for a few days I was away with friends.

A good a start point to all of this was the combination of heat, vertigo the previous week, tiredness from the overstimulation with limited sleep with the heat left me very rundown on arrival feeling very much as if I was going into 'standby' mode.

This while taking nothing of itself from what I enjoyed doing  while being away did mean I wasn't able to help that much as I had wanted to just because I didn't have the energy for it even though I did help when I felt able to.

On the Monday I found myself with a full on R.S.I flare up that made just cutting and bring food to my mouth very painful which meant I had to decline a request to help with washing up that didn't appear to go down too well with the person concerned even if those near me clearly knew how much pain and discomfort I was in as having asked I had told them.

Perhaps in hindsight I should of sought them out given they tend to be very much at the focus of 'gather the troups' activities and as I later discovered although I have a lot to do with them ordinarily, the everyday "Jo doesn't appear well" remark you might of expected someone to have passed on evidently hadn't as they had been blissfully unaware of me being unwell although a number had asked and were informed.

It also was an interesting week as a good few years ago I did mention about how the discipline side of my life was changing and how unexpectedly for the first time since leaving education, the use of caning had come in.

Sometimes it had been decided to take a range of spanking implements for me whenever were are away and sometimes not as no one should underestimate what can be down with little more than a hand and a hairbrush.

This time with nothing more than 'on file' consent, things were going to be much different without any advance notification.

The first indication was unlike before in that I was asked to follow them into their bedroom where apart from being pretty tidy, I noticed a chair with open sides toward the far end of it but in line with the door access.

The door was shut. "You no doubt have noticed the empty chair. You know what it is for don't you?"
I nodded.
"Then get over it, Jo?"

I obediently walked to put my feet by the legs and stretching over the back placed my hands on far corner of the seat just over the front leg joint raising my dress so the lower cheeks of my gym knickers were exposed.

I felt a hand on the tailbone of my back and a draught as I felt their other hand  raising the back of my dress followed by a hand on my now fully exposed as they started a full blown discourse on how I was to behave as they started to hand spank me vigorously.

It felt quite a bit stronger than any I had before and moreover I felt very much reduced in stature feeling  both free from burden of trying to be an adult when you never feel it and very much in the past where others set my limits.

It had been eons since I had a 'reminder spanking' being more familiar with discipline spanking but it set the tone.

The other was I had been a bit less than civil toward the end of one day, forgetting 'please', 'thank you' and generally being rather blase when after breakfast I was asked innocuously enough when I was to change for events shortly where I answered "In a few minutes" when the reply I heard was one I hadn't heard for decades "I'll be back in twenty minutes,okay".

So naturally enough I went to the toilet, had a quick wash and got changed, checking the time sat on my bed scratching my head thinking "What's this about?"

Twenty minutes came and there was a knock on the door so I opened it a little

"Have you changed now?"  "I have, thank you" I replied  as heard something I was not anticipating.

"Come with me now!"

I soon realized we weren't heading toward the corridors that lead out of doors but actually into their room when they shut the door briskly.

"You know what to do, bend over that chair!" They said "You know what I told you and why you are here?"

It dawned on me I had shot through what had been a clear warning about my attitudes and behaviour and that was what this was all about.

Looking toward a table I saw an object amongst a couple and thought "No they were not going to use this" as we'd never done this before but as I was bent over the chair I saw them pick it up.

They had clearly decided it was time to cane me for the first time since I left school where at least they tended to keep me in check as I felt the lifting of my dress and warming up as they ensured I was in the correct position ready to take the swishes and thwacks I had offered my bottom  up to receive.

I had forgotten exactly how it stung in those intervening years as two sets of six were delivered accompanied ows that thought given how loud they were coming out people might hear it passing.

That was how it came to be I had my first caning in this relationship and as I was to find out it wasn't necessarily the last.

In the three and a bit years since this whole relationship started I had wondered what life would be like if for a period it was just like things were back in my childhood and while obviously as a legal adult tm consent applies and exists, the whole rules, cautions and discipline for not applying them would just run as part of life with no set time or location for all of this.

The week was just that and while in hindsight knowledge of how I was feeling may well of altered aspects of it which was my own failure, none the less it was what I felt comfortable with emotionally.

What had been envisioned came into being, from being at the point where on paper caning was an option, they had seen my reactions to it - that I could take it and while some may of said "Okay you're not well  but Next time, you're getting it" I feel it was time the gloves came off.
I know I certainly well be caned from now on and that's what I'm needing to be more considerate of what people do for me.

A week with direct supervision

Life for me changed over three years ago  when going further into a series of issues around my behaviour and attitudes toward people I decided to talk openly face to face about how I felt about my own behaviour and how I'd like them to change things around to help me as a few people had but they were more on the outside of my life.
This week I'll be with that person for a period of time exclusively living within our revised house rules 24/7 which is always great.

I talked about and asked them as person to whom I spend a lot of time with and who of necessity need to take care of to have a relationship with me that included them spanking me apart from from one to one instruction and guidance to help me deal with my many issues as the limited time I had with others who had tried this appeared to work well and some additional work plus consistency in handling me could help.
What it amounts to this week if I mess up without good reason then I'll have a spanking but the will also work on any deeper reasons like instructions, knowing how and when to things so I learn more self discipline.
I'm a much more capable person for all this than I was and so I'm looking forward to my time with them in a relationship that is so much better for me.

Problem solving

Sometimes it can seem as if everyone who seems to achieve seems to be following some guru's guide or other that focuses more on having carefully thought out strategies for dealing with those life skill issues some of struggle with.

I'm a great fan of The Latest Kate's inspirational art and in this she addresses a fundamental truth which is you don't actually need that approach to having it right at the outset.
Many of us find we're programmed more to pick at it a bit at time as we go along and that often gets us to where we want to be.
It all doesn't have all appear before our eyes in one flash of inspiration.

Getting things together

Oh well, reaching from the back to fasten anything not least to plat your own hair was always going to difficult for some of us with poor grip and worse co-ordination but you sure can't fault her for trying which is an easy mindset to fall into.
Sometimes it's born of the expectation someone else will always do such things for you or that you are so used to told you never will, it becomes a belief system so you never explore any way in which you might cos in your mind you have you can't and never will.
I've been there to, being capable of getting into a very defensive mindset which may of had more toward how others handled such things in the past especially if they tried guilt tripping you into the bargain but sometimes new techniques can make a real difference so why deprive yourself of a potential ability?

Putting the emphasis on what it belongs

It's been another hot week struggling to cope with the temperatures and the intense brick dust from nextdoor's building work by the local cowboys but there is one issue I have touched on before here I am revisiting.
In an era where social media is seen as the one point all information and contacting having an old school website devoted to mainly non sexual spanking might seem to be a bonus given some folks negative experiences of sites like Fetlife but there has been an issue a few of us have been talking about for a while which resumed last week.
A website for adults who are spanked and those that do you might think has little need to have anything that has to do with spanking and children especially when talking about that in the forums is an absolute no and where no one under 18 can sign up but two pages on the site clearly breach this.
The main page had a long section on it that after much pressure was removed but this a fellow member pointed out leaves a substantial chunk on the other that uses examples on time outs versus spanking referencing children.
One can follow the arguments but it is simply inappropriate to reference it on a site for adults  and should use not discuss its application using examples with children where they could be replaced by some those of us who as adults, are explaining why we find it more helpful.
Such examples would themselves serve as a more useful guide for those looking into this for being the experiences of actual adults  in dealing with their own challenges while making crystal clear the site is not about in any way shape or form spanking of children leaving such discussions to those to whom this is relevant such as parenting sites.
Thankfully that wording has now gone.
In my opinion making these changes is well overdue although I remain surprised the wording went unchallenged at the time.

Peter Fermin: A tribute

(Picture credits: Kent Press)
It was announced on Monday, Peter Fermin, artist, puppet maker and the creator of Bagpuss and Basil Brush who worked with the late Oliver Postgate of Small Films had died aged  89.
Peter believed passionately in the appeal, the soul of traditional animated films and their puppets  feeling they had soul that appeal more greatly than computer generated icons (CGI) to viewers being more relateable.
There are many series he had a hand in of one one I feel on balance is the one most of us hold the greater affection for and that is Bagpuss, "a saggy, old cloth cat, baggy, and a bit loose at the seams" for whom Emily the owner of a shop that repaired and sold old things so loved.
Her affection for him remains a most poignant moving thing for me and many others who have seen the original series from 1974 with it's sepia toned introduction.
It would be a mistake to ignore his involvement in other series Small Films made  and that are fondly remembered such as the railway series set in Wales, Ivor The Engine, which no doubt was popular with boys or the Viking adventures of the Saga of Noggin the Nog.

 One which I loved to pieces was The Clangers from the early nineteen-seventies but with new series too  set on a small planet inhabited by family of small creatures called Clangers who share their life with people like the Soup Dragon whose Blue String Pudding and Green Soup underground.

The Clangers communicate in Clanger, a language using whistling something to which much to the annoyance of ones parents and teachers many of us used too and the series had a narrator who would explain what was going on while allowing the characters to communicate directly to us in Clanger. 
It was a peaceful co-operative space world so many of us loved in the era where man's space exploration was at its peak, eagerly followed by schoolboys and girls and also featured a musical tree that played music and an Iron Chicken.
These cartoons, in part Peter's life work were and are core parts of our childhoods I cannot say to hear of his demise doesn't make me sad, it does but thanks to digital media they live on able to offer something that more glossy more, commercially savvy series lack.
R.I.P Peter.

A week in the life of Jo

One thing I tend to talk about at various places is missing spoons because however I wrap the thing up, just living as me physically, mentally and psychologically takes a lot of out me as try to keep up with everybody else.
It's especially bad at times of the year like the one we're going through where it has bee unrelentingly hot, over 28 degrees  for over a week so hot you struggle to get to sleep at night and wake up with damp night clothes sticking to you as the sweat has been absorbed  by them, leaving you feeling clammy.
It's a reason why I needed to leave chat early last night as I was starting to feel too far gone and also dehydrated.
It's been an uphill struggle to get things done as you just lie there first thing feeling tired before you've even done a thing, never mind everyday stuff like fixing food, getting some exercise in to keep myself reasonable fit and loss a bit of weight and even read or colour so the fact I'm at least doing it is a sign of some self discipline being in me now.
I as sure as heck would not of a few years back.